Sep 20, 2015 - VIOLET. I'm dead. According to Twitter. ADAM. You're on Twitter? She doesn't respond. ADAM (CONT'D). Well
OLD HOLLYWOOD by Kara Cutruzzula
09.20.15
INT. NEWSROOM - DAY A bunch of bored writers and editors are sitting around a conference table, in the middle of another lackluster morning meeting, until editor HANNAH (30s) runs up to the table and sits down out of breath. HANNAH Violet Harrison is dead! NOAH Wasn’t she already? MIKE My money’s on stroke. YVETTE I bet she went with what’s-his-name still inside her. MIKE Hey! That’s a dangerous visual. NOAH Kinda hot actually. HANNAH Shut up, you morons and get together a retrospective. And call up Tom who was supposed to cast her in that film. YVETTE That was shelved like 10 years ago. HANNAH OK, find whoever worked with her last. Do a “remembering her best moments,” piece and pull together a photo gallery. Get it up in 20. On it.
MIKE
INT. VIOLET HARRISON’S TOWNHOUSE - DAY - SAME TIME VIOLET, a grand woman in her 60s, sits on a wingback chair. It appears she’s been hanging out there a very long time. ADAM (20s), handsome and out of place in such a fusty apartment, sits across from her. They’re having tea. VIOLET Apparently, I’m dead.
2.
What?
ADAM
VIOLET I’m dead. According to Twitter. ADAM You’re on Twitter? She doesn’t respond. ADAM (CONT’D) Well, you look like quite a healthy ghost. VIOLET Apparently, I had a stroke. There are just a few mentions now but I guess Betsy will be calling any second now. ADAM A publicist would hate getting scooped on their own client’s death. VIOLET She’s probably so mad she’ll actually kill me. (pause) People are saying some nice things. Quote: “I always loved her on Terms of Tears.” “She was the reason I became a physicist.” Physicist?
ADAM
VIOLET The Science of Love. 1972. Before your time. Didn’t you do your research before I hired you? ADAM Of course. But that one wasn’t on Netflix. (beat) This is a bit sick, like attending your own funeral. You want me to set things straight? Violet regards him with a look that says “not yet.” CUT TO:
3. INT. NEWSROOM - LATER Mike, Yvette, and Noah are sitting in their open office spaces. MIKE Confession. I had my first sexual experience watching her in Beaches of Westwick. YVETTE (beat) Not a thing you should say to people. NOAH She’s not even in the ground yet dude. Plus, she was ancient. Not to me.
MIKE
YVETTE Why are we only caring about her now that she’s dead? If I wanted to write a profile of her a month ago you’d all think I was crazy. MIKE But would you have even thought of writing a profile of her a month ago? Yvette is quiet. MIKE (CONT’D) Game, set, match. NOAH We care now because everyone loves a good beginning. Or a bleak ending. The middle part -- the quiet part -- that’s the real death. INT. VIOLET HARRISON’S TOWNHOUSE - LATER Violet and Adam are now eating sandwiches. VIOLET I want to see how far I can take this.
4.
Us?
ADAM
VIOLET No. My “death.” And not tell them I’m still alive. See who comes out of the woodwork. ADAM That’s a little sick. VIOLET Ha, ha. I’m not just sick, I’m dead. Besides, no one’s coming after my money. My parent have been dead for ages. Only child. What harm could there be? Besides you, no one’s knocked at this door in months. ADAM Yes, but, you do realize there’s no going back-VIOLET My career’s been dead for years. Why not just follow it down the rabbit hole? ADAM But how will you get around? Where will you live? VIOLET Here, of course. And people stop looking at women after they turn 50, so I’m not worried. Revise that: 45. They stop looking at 40. ADAM But who will know the truth? She stares him down. Me?
ADAM (CONT’D)
VIOLET You. Only you.
5. INT. NEWSROOM - LATER Now they’re all eating sad desk salads around their laptops on the conference room table. YVETTE Did you know she was the first actress to win two Oscars in consecutive years? Yawn.
MIKE
NOAH (butting in) So we slapped together the photo gallery. Headline?
HANNAH
YVETTE R.I.P. Violet Harrison: Her Glamorous, Gorgeous Life in Photos. HANNAH Replace Gorgeous with Tragic and post. On it.
NOAH
HANNAH Oh yeah, did they confirm death? Who? Her agent.
NOAH HANNAH
YVETTE I thought you called. NOAH I thought you called! INT. THE IVY RESTAURANT - DAY Agent BETSY ROSS (40s), who was born to power lunch, sits with a male actor, ROBERT (20s). He looks like he’d fit right in in a vampire movie.
6. ROBERT Stephen doesn’t understand my process, you know? I can’t access this character with all these blocks he’s putting on my energy. BETSY I’m so sorry, darling. You’ve been such a hit on set though. Everyone says so. ROBERT (brightens) Really? Who? BETSY Everyone, really. Everyone... Both of her phones start to buzz. She looks at them like a caffeine junkie eyeing her afternoon espresso. BETSY (CONT’D) One minute. Crisis mode. Unrelated to you, of course. ROBERT (primping in the mirror behind her) Mmhmm. BETSY (answering the phone) What’s happening? She listens. BETSY (CONT’D) No. I don’t think-- I hadn’t heard-no comment. Or, I can’t comment at this time. She starts dialing the other phone before hanging up the first. BETSY (CONT’D) Wendy. What the hell is going on. Is Violet dead? Entertainment Weekly just called me for comment. Well, find someone who can figure it out. CLOSE UP on her phone with the R.I.P. photo gallery with “tragic” photos.
7. INT. NEWSROOM - LATER The worker bees are typing away. HANNAH Leave it vague for now. We’ll fill in the blanks later. YVETTE That’s a lot of blanks. HANNAH Time of death, all the lame voiceover projects she did in her final days, blah blah blah. NOAH I’ve got a good get. Tom on the record: “She was a fabulous woman, funny and full of life, even in her death. She left us all too soon.” HANNAH Eh. Vague. But run it. YVETTE Didn’t they-NOAH Hate each other? Yeah. But he’s uber careful. Especially to the dead. Guess Thetans believe in karma. HANNAH Put it in the screamer. Um.
NOAH
(beat) (then, screaming) She was a fabulous woman. Funny and- (full) HANNAH No, you idiot, put it in the screamer. (she taps the screen) The top of the homepage, here. Is this your first day? Yes.
NOAH
8. YVETTE Hell of a way to start. CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM STAGE - FLASH FORWARD Violet is decked out formally and addressing an unseen audience. VIOLET Since I was younger, I was always intrigued by the idea of looking back on your life from your deathbed. Sometimes I would wake up and think: Will the 87-year-old version of me -- a psychic once told me I’d live to be 87 -- be happy with what I’m doing today? And when there was a string of ‘no’ answers for too many days, I always knew it was time for a change. (beat) Which is why I changed again and again and again. CUT TO: INT. VIOLET’S LIVING ROOM - FLASH FORWARD Adam sits across from Violet. This is a different day, but we don’t know how much time has passed. ADAM Did you really change? VIOLET Not enough. VIOLET (CONT’D) I was demonized. When I was ‘alive’ you know. My problems were held up to ridicule. A quote-unquote terror to work with. I was called ugly and fat and conceited and anorexic. Sometimes all in the same day. I had a string of bad luck, bad directors, and bad doctors. (pause) But even worse than that, I was forgotten. And then I was dead.
9. ADAM How did it feel to die in the eyes of the audience? VIOLET Suddenly, for the first time in a long time, people were nice. People who hadn’t called in years were talking about me, to the press, of course, but still, that counts. Those ex-husbands who cursed me out when I was alive all changed their tune when I was gone. (beat) So I thought, maybe I had done well. Maybe my life was worthwhile after all. (beat) Of course, I couldn’t tell anyone that...I’m dead, remember? Insert CARD OVER BLACK-- TO BE CONTINUED. FADE TO BLACK.
