This ain't your grade school PE kickball, kids; this is the real deal. ... He has looked over Boca for a few seasons now
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Back for another term to rub off another great season in FL-BOCA As your returning president, let me first thank all of you who we able to make it back and get signed up with your favorite team. As for the newbies….. You’re in for a treat. Welcome to the finest league in all of the land. Shed that three-piece suit or pant suit of yours and slap on a pair of cleats and our fine hand crafted WAKA jerseys. Get out onto the field and kick the crap out of a big rubber ball. Expelling all of that pent-up frustration seeded inside of you by unruly subordinates or annoying officemates. Once all of the tanks angst be purged, refill them with bottles of love and joy as you down a few at the bar with your brothers of battle. This ain’t your grade school PE kickball, kids; this is the real deal. We drink and score, all the time. And me and by band of merry maniacs are going to make sure you score too. And without further ado, I bring to you, Board Version 2.
WAKA Rep - Jason Sterling: Easily identified by his trademark kilts, Jason has had years of kickballs underneath his skirt; just don’t reach up there and touch them without buying him a Jack and Coke first. He has looked over Boca for a few seasons now and also captains of one of the tragically hilarious teams out there. Vice Pres - Sean Christianson: Sean started his kickball career last season by forming the team Wingmen and the Hot Wings, which derived from a bar trivia team. Since both consisted of consuming large amounts of alcohol, the transition was not hard at all. This year I pulled him on as my second in command due to his random knowledge of crap that I feel one day might be useful, ohh and he’s seems with it. Social Committee: Headed by the omnipresent Felix Pons, a.k.a. Fee, who spent the last few seasons as the Editor for our lovely GMOT, and was ready to step up to the plate and take on a larger role in the division. Fee is lucky to have two awesome people backing up his crazy antics. First, the beautiful and talented Tara Devine, a grad from the greatest college in the world, Notre Dame. Go Irish! Second, his saltiness, Josh Kessler, playing in his second season, who has shown great interest in filling this season’s sack to the top with fun. Charity Chair: This season we will be honored to have Veronica Hennig come up from the south, to join us and help us do our part to raise money for our charity. V has been playing kickball for as long as I have and has been a friend of mine since I moved down to SoFlo, she will be a nice addition to our group. Awards Chair – Rob Tanen, aka Ratman, will be taking on a new position that I am bringing to you this season. He will be sifting through all of your team’s faults and achievements and then showing them off the rest of the league. Don’t get caught with your pants down cause he’ll be watching. GMOT Editor – This position is being taken over by the modelesque Jena Zakany. She is going to make sure that you guys and girls make total fools of yourselves and then be able to display it for all the world to see. We like what we see so far babe, keep up the good work!! Field General - Don Merrill comes back as one of the longest running board members in our division, his strategic and timely placement of the bases, makes it so that we all start our games on time. He takes care of our balls so be nice and don’t break his. President - Brian Remavich, pssst, that’s me, fell into presidency last season and helped bring the sexy back to Boca. I worked my ass off last season to bring you themed weeks (giving you chances to win and consume even more alcohol then you care to admit) and revamping the way you the GMOT looks today. Most of the people who were there for me in the past are on the board this season. They are my friends both in and outside of kickball. Please treat them with the respect they deserve cause to be on the board they have had to prove it. We pay to play kickball just like the rest of you and all that we ask for is for you to enjoy yourselves and the occasional thank you. Now that’s will be as much sappy shit you will ever hear coming out of my mouth till next season, so eat it up kids and let’s play some effin kickball!!
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KICKBALL IN THE OFF-SEASON Introductions - Welcome to the new GMOT! Fee is taking over the reins with Social Committee, and your new hosts of the GMOT will be myself, Sean aka “Cruise Director” of the team Wingmen and The Hot Wings, and Jena from The Salty Sacks. We hope to deliver the same weekly entertainment you have had previously with some new and fun additions. Playoffs - Evident from Fee’s frown in the picture above, Wingmen won the battle with the T-Bags. Fee being a very gracious combatant paid his due bucket of beer, and wore his “Wingbitch” Wingmen patch around the bar until one of the T-Bags tore it off. All in all Wingmen had a great inaugural season, and look forward to seeing everyone again in March. Post-Season - What do kickballers do in post-season? What kickballers do best! Drink, drink, drink, and play some kickball. Boynton Season was fun with mid-week hijinks, a casual atmosphere, and AJ Hemsey’s team Magically Delicious, a hodgepodge group of Uniballers and T-Bags, winning the season championship! Halloween was great, with several opportunities to put on costumes, and party with kickballers. The beautiful ladies of the T-Bags, Brielle and Marissa, hosted a very nice shin-dig at their place. All I know is don’t mess with Brielle, or she’ll sick her horse giant dog on you.
Inseperable these two. Adorable.
Wingmen hosted a killer Halloween party which saw many boca kickballers getting their drink on, and enjoying some Wing-Punch. Visiting a local Boca bar, we saw on the board: “Free beer for men in kilts.” What does this mean? Upload photo, tag Jason, and begin setting up a kickball event for Jason to get sloshed on free beer. The best was seeing Fee and Forti doning some of Jason’s backup kilts.
In December, the planets aligned, it was a full moon, and the sun had a giant solar flare, allowing the Wingmen and T-Bags to merge into the Wingbags. A group of such raw talent, and such an overwhelming thirst for alcohol, their greatness was uncontrollable, causing them to lose the tournament. But deep down, we knew we were the winners since we drank the most, shouted the most obscenities, and brought the most spirit. Will these two teams ever merge again? Only time will tell. In the meantime, get ready for some good all fashioned Boca kickball, with registration for current teams, opening on January 4th!
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THE FOLLOWING ARTICLE HAS BEEN
RATED FEE
OVER 30 NOT ADMITTED WITHOUT A SENSE OF HUMOR
FOR FOUL LANGUAGE, SEXUAL REFERENCES, SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION, AND MOSTLY SIMULATED T-BAGGIN’ IT’S ME, YOUR T-BAGGIN’, KISS STEALIN’, BEER SWIPIN’, MIC ROCKIN’, BOCA DIVISION SOCIAL CHAIRMAN… FEE! Yes, GMOTherf---ers, you read that correctly: SOCIAL CHAIRMAN. After three seasons as Editor-in-Chief of the GMOT, I’ve been called upon to serve a higher purpose for Boca: Help make this division as fun as possible. Well that and I was honestly tired of the sleepless nights, so I wish Jena and Sean luck in keeping up with the same level of award winning awesomeness and deadlines each week. But don’t worry, you’ll still get your favorite weekly kickball dirt sheet with a side of Fee. (I can just see AJ shaking his head right now.) As Social Chairman, I promise you won’t see any more Wii Olympics, graffiti, or DEFINITELY any more pirates! No, my friends, you will see new (to Boca) and innovative (some possibly borrowed from other divisions) ideas this season. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ So as you recall, we introduced The Redemption and weekly theme concepts last season, but they were only the beginning of the revolution. Although, I have to say that while The Redemption was successful overall, it did have some flaws, which will be fixed this season. For example, certain teams’ refusal to have five of their players participate or even go to the bar helped The School Yard Bullies steal redemption away from teams whose money they already stole on the field on the way to winning the Boca Division Championship. Either way, they proved their superiority on and off the field in spite of another “superteam” right behind them. I’ll even say that the weekly theme competitions were dominated, as my very own team, The Boston T-Bag Party, greatly outnumbered the other teams in participation week after week. However, I did continuously challenge teams to step it up, so I don’t feel bad about having collected a $25 bar tab each week. So as punishment, I was outvoted by the rest of the Board on how to reward participation this season. Weekly theme participation rewards will now be based on the best male and female (individual) participation. But in all seriousness, there were a lot of creative individuals last season whose individual creativity went unrewarded. Still, regardless of whether or not you stand to win a prize for what you do this season, this is more for fun and everyone is encouraged to participate. Captains, your players’ fun factor is something you should consider when inviting them to your team. A few lame players can ruin your team’s chance at achieving social awesomeness and make us ridicule you in the GMOT. Let us not forget about a certain team who refused to play Redemption flip cup for most of last season and finally decided to play my team after weeks of teasing them about how they’d rather eat chicken wings. I can see when they finally played why they never did... so Lisa, I hope you made them do flip cup drills in the offseason! FLIP, DRINK, FLIP, DRINK, FLIP, DRINK... _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ The Boca Board has decided to add an Awards Chair this season. This person will be responsible for creating new awards each week and for the end of the season. After his classic work with The Redemption last season, Ratman from Drink ‘Til They’re Pretty has been promoted to this position. Now he can legitimately give deserving teams and individual players such accolades as “Can’t win a game, but can drink your ass under the table!” Besides Ratman, I also found two people to join the Social Committee who love this division as much as I do and also wanna help make it fun for everyone. Tara from Drink ‘Til They’re Pretty and my arch flip cup nemesis, El Capitan Salty (Josh), now part of Go Ugly Early will serve under me on the Boca Board and assist me in carrying out all the ideas we come up with this season. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I’ll now leave you with this off-season tale: Sean briefly mentioned this in his own article, but Wingmen and The Hot Wings and The Boston T-Bag Party set aside the greatest rivalry of mediocre teams in kickball history to form The Wingbags for the Boynton Beach Kickball Classic a few weeks ago. In the spirit of mediocrity, we went on to lose all three pool games and never even made it into the tournament. But did we let that stop us from drinking even more insane amounts of booze? Hell no! We went straight to a CJ-esque sports bar and waited for the first team to be eliminated from the tournament, which we knew would be a team that Boca needs just for their name alone, Boynton’s own Pink Tacos. Once they were finished, we challenged them to a scrimmage game, which ended up being the most fun we had all day. Some of the girls from Kick Tease also joined us. Miller Lites were the drink of choice and bunting was banned this time around. This,GMOTherf---ers, was TRUE kickball. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Show your support for the Boca GMOT by becoming a true GMOTherf---er today: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=127859173454
BEER, SWEAT, AND T-BAGS
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It’s all over. The School Yard Bullies stole their opponents’ lunch money eight times in a row to grab the Redemption championship for the 2009 Summer Boca Kickball season. They have earned their rightful place on the cover of the final GMOT, to be released after the regular season champ has been crowned. The UniBallers headed into Week 7 knowing that they would earn a Redemption forfeit, since the Goats rarely appear at the bar. As expected, only three Goats showed up at CJ’s, and the UniBallers were handed a freebee to give them a perfect 7 for 7 record. This solidified at least a tie for first place overall. The School Yard Bullies now needed to make their opponents Each Hit in order to force a championship tie-breaker match-up. Before their game began, some Bullies were already declaring victory, claiming that Each Hit conveniently decided to forfeit their first game of the season – even though practically their entire team was present at the bar. Shenanigans were called, and the Boca Board was brought to the flip cup table to witness a fair match-up between the two Lauderdale teams. Nevertheless, the Bullies steamrolled Each Hit fair and square, sweeping their competition 3 games to 0. This set up the tie-breaker championship match-up with the UniBallers… The final Redemption match-up looked more like these two teams were playing at Woodlands Park, not CJ’s. The UniBallers brought their finest flippers to the table to claim the $100 bar tab for Boca: AJ was brought in for brute strength. Kimbourine was there to put her million dollar hands to work. Nicky played since she was responsible for the team’s namesake. Dan was part of the crew, since he claimed to flip cups better then he throws Bocci balls. And Ginny, of course, was there to represent the only way she knows how. Unfortunately for one-nutters, it wasn’t enough. Coming straight from rehab, The School Yard Bullies’ five representatives gulped their brew and were all one flip wonders for three rounds in a row, giving them the overall Redemption title as the only team in the league to win eight games straight. Congrats to the purple people eaters from Ft. Lauderdale. You have officially secured ½ of the final GMOT final cover. Who will you share that page with? Let the playoffs commence… Final Redemption Standings – 2009 Summer Boca Kickball Points Teams 8 School Yard Bullies 7 UniBallers 6 Ball Busters 5 Each Hit, The Boston T-Bag Party, Drink Til They’re Pretty, & Salty Sacks 3 Wingmen and the Hot Wings 2 ½ Nads & We Got the Runs 2 Cobra Kai 0 Feets O Fusion - ½ Goats -1 Pirate Hookers & Kick Tease
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VOTED BEST COMIC ‘09
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The School Yard Bullies by Chaz Warrington
BOCA SUMMER 2009 CHAMPIONS
I’ve paid my dues, Time after time, I’ve done my sentence, But committed no crime And bad mistakes, I’ve made a few, I’ve had my share of sand, Kicked in my face But I’ve come through, And we mean to go on and on and on and on We are the champions - my friend And we’ll keep on fighting Till the end We are the champions We are the champions No time for losers ‘Cause we are the champions of the World
The School Yard Bullies breezed through the playoffs and then beat “The Best Team Ever” to play in Boca in the Semi-Finals. Wait, SYB’s didn’t play Stallers Balls or The Meatballs. Now I’m confused, but all that matters is that the School Yard Bullies are your Boca Summer 2009 Champions!
I’ve taken my bows, And my curtain calls, You brought me fame and fortune And everything that goes with it, I thank you all, But it’s been no bed of roses, No pleasure cruise I consider it a challenge before, The whole human race, And I ain’t gonna lose And we mean to go on and on and on and on We are the champions - my friends And we’ll keep on fighting Till the end We are the champions We are the champions No time for losers ‘Cause we are the champions of the World We are the champions - my friends And we’ll keep on fighting Till the end We are the champions We are the champions No time for losers ‘Cause we are the champions
Drink Til They’re Pretty by Ratman Boca Prelude Drink Til They’re Pretty sought a repeat championship of the Boca kickball title in the summer 2009 playoffs. We started the playoffs as the highest Boca seeded team. And we finished the regular season and playoffs without a single loss or tie to any Boca team. In fact, we have never lost in three seasons to any Boca team. Boca Playoffs Round 1 & 2 In game 1, we started off slow but of course prevailed by tearing up the lowly #14 seeded Goats from Boca, 5-1. We then moved onto Round 2 against the #11 seeded Wingmen from Boca, who prevailed over our kid brother team, the #6 seeded Boston T-Bag Party from Boca. We made their hot wings do the Boca dirty bird, and we forced the Boca wingmen to watch! After allowing the Boca Wingers take a 1-0 lead, the defending Boca champs DTTP sloppily coasted through this game, taking the victory 7-2.
FINAL SCORES: ROUND 1:
DTTP 5 – GOATS 1
ROUND 2:
DTTP 7 – WINGMEN 2
ROUND 3:
DTTP 0 – SCHOOL YARD BULLIES 2
Boca Playoffs Round 3 Then came the Boca Playoffs Round 3 against the School Yard Bullies from Ft. Lauderdale. We very much appreciated their sportsmanship the week before by purposely throwing their final game against Each Hit so that we would get to play them. We also appreciated them dressing only 12 out of 26 players for their matchup against us in Round 3. There was no score for the first three innings as the best defense in Boca held stronger than we did all season, racking up two double plays in three innings. In the bottom of the 4th they loaded up the bases with one out. Their kicker blasted one to centerfield which was tipped by Paige, then caught by Wayne. Their runner on second tried to be Tricky and decided that there is no need to tag up before advancing bases... They erred on the side of missing the entire play and called their runner safe, thus giving the Bullies a 2-0 lead which was not relinquished. Had the call been different, the score after 6 innings would have been 0-0 going into extras. But hey, there’s always next season in Boca. Boca Closing Drink Til They’re Pretty will never lay down, and we sure as hell aren’t going away. After all, we’re from Boca! And here’s an off-season guarantee for you: DTTP will qualify for Vegas next season. Drink Drink Drink Til They’re Pretty, If We Don’t Win We’re Still Getting Shitty!
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Wingmen & The Hot Wings by Sean Christianson The Wingmen had a great rookie season overall, taking pride in it’s triumph over the T-Bags in the playoffs, and then the team’s great effort against DTTP. In addition, the team sits as the best rookie team in the league, all players having never played kickball before. The Wingmen & The Hot Wings franchise is growing, expanding to the Boynton league, and returning in full force starting in Winter 2010. I know you must be thinking to yourselves, where does it end? Well my friends, it simply doesn’t. This is the tip of the iceberg; talks about a movie deal with our good friend, Mark Wahlberg has begun, a soon to be released action figure line is in production, some branded Wingmen kickball cleats will be available in Sports Authorities across the nation within weeks. “The roller coaster ride has been intense,” says Cruise Director (team Captain.) How high will The Wingmen soar? Only time will tell... In all seriousness, Wingmen had an amazing season, are amazed by all the new friends they gained through various teams, and are all looking forward to returning in Winter. Shout-outs go out to all Wingmen and Hot Wings who busted ass in practice, showing up to games, and arriving at games ready to have a great time. Look forward to seeing everyone come out again for Winter season!
The Boston T-Bag Party by Fee While The Boston T-Bag Party was eliminated in the first round of the Boca playoffs in a very close loss to the Wingmen (costing me a bucket of beer), I have no complaints… especially after finishing off our third season tied for 5th place out of 16 teams, while the Wingmen finished the season in 8th place and went on to be eliminated by Drink Till They’re Pretty, as I made every conscience effort to pay attention at third base. Only in kickball can refs be wasted and still be allowed to make calls! Aside from improving on the field this season, The T-Bags continued to show Boca why we are the fun standard by winning almost every possible bar tab for our participation in the weekly themes. I say “almost”, because there was that one rockstar week where we actually lost by one player to the UniBallers. However, after considering how many beers I’ve swiped from Jason over the past three seasons, I’m not too mad about it. And of course, who can forget about all the “singing” led by yours truly after CJ’s each week? Hopefully, if you were as wasted as I was by that point, you’re raising your hand right now and have no recollection of any of this. Until next season… “T-BAGS ON YO FAAAACE!”
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