April 4, 2018 - Brevard College

clarion.brevard.edu

Volume 83, Issue 26

Web Edition EditionSERVING BREVARD COLLEGE SINCE 1935

Students embark on field trip to learn more about Holocaust, Jewish Culture

By Zach Dickerson

Campus News Editor On March 19, Professor Jessie Tucker’s ENG 208: Holocaust Literature class took a field trip to Asheville to learn more about the Holocaust and the Jewish culture in general. According to the Brevard College Academic Catalog the ENG 208: Holocaust Literature course is a study of multiple genres including memoir/autobiography, poetry, short story, essay, graphic novel and film. It seeks to increase students understanding of the Holocaust and modern genocide through the lenses of survivors, victims, bystanders, witnesses, rescuers and perpetrators. Most importantly, it addresses issues of personal and collective responsibility as well as social action. “We have read about multiple Holocaust survivors, and it was the chance of a lifetime to meet a survivor in person at the University of North Carolina at Asheville,” said Tucker. The class went hear from Dr. Walter Ziffer who had survived multiple Nazi concentration camps. Dr. Ziffer described his experiences in a lecture followed by a time for question and answer. “We particularly enjoyed about twenty-

five minutes afterward during which he talked with just a few Brevard College students,” said Tucker. Dr. Ziffer is 91 years old and remains exceptionally wise and interesting. “Multiple students said that they would never have guessed his age,” said Tucker. “He was inspiring, honest, and even funny at times!” “The Brevard College Pedagogies committees offered to pay for our lunch at the Jerusalem See ‘Holocaust field trip,’ page 1

Photo courtesy of Jessica Tucker

Students looking at the sacred text of the Jewish religion, The Torah, at the Beth HaTephila Synagogue and School in Asheville.

Hilarion Inside! April 4, 2018

National Alcohol Screening Day Campus Counseling holds screening event

By Mary Lewe

Staff Writer Coordinator for Counseling Services Dee Dasburg and counseling intern Mary Grace Bigelow held an alcoholism screening event last Thursday, March 29 in the Myers Dining Hall. At the event, students were able to confidentially and anonymously participate by filling out a self-report survey which assesses their risk for becoming alcohol dependent. “We think it is important for [students] to take time out of their life and think about how often they’re drinking and how much,” Dasburg said. Dasburg said in addition to the yearly screening, it is required for every new student to complete Alcohol EDU online training, which teaches students about the dangers of binge drinking, signs of alcohol dependence, as well as offering good techniques for what to do if you or a friend has become too intoxicated. According to the counseling team, few students come forward asking for help with alcohol dependence. Instead, the bigger issue is binge drinking. Following the completion of the alcohol See ‘Alcohol Screening’ on page 4

New SGA executive board members elected

Associate Dean of Students Michael Cohen announced the results of the SGA election on Tuesday. The SGA executive board for Fall 2018 will consist of: • President - Bliss Joseph • Vice President - Caitlyn Cloud-Morton • Speaker of the Clubs - Audrey Cardwell • Secretary - Rebeccah Rojas Congratulations to the newly elected members of the SGA executive board! Photo courtesy of Jessica Tucker

The ENG 208 class posing with Holocast survivor, Dr. Walter Ziffer, in Asheville.

—Mary Lewe

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Retirement Profile

Campus News

The Clarion

| April 4, 2018

Jo Pumphrey finishes off a great career By Jordon Morgan

Editor in Chief After over 30 years with Brevard College mentoring aspiring artists, Jo Pumphrey will be retiring following the spring 2018 semester. Along with her husband Bill Byers, her decision to retire came after a lengthy period of contemplation. “We had talked about it. We felt the department deserved younger faces and new ideas,” Pumphrey said. Another factor in her decision was the fact that her children are on “opposite sides of the U.S.” and that she “didn’t want to be construed” by staying in one place for too long. Related to that, she says that her daughter will be having twins soon all the way in San Francisco in addition to the fact that her son will be getting married in Maine. Needless to say, she’ll be quite busy after departing. But even after that, she says that her and Professor Byers “want more studio time.” Derespite how fulfilling it’s been to help others in their arts, they want to focus on their own personal art related passions. Jo Pumphrey joined Brevard College in the winter of 1987 as a part time faculty member, back when the college itself was only a twoyear school. Becoming full time in 1990, she

began teaching art appreciation, eventually transitioning to drawing, design, art history, and even life drawing. Pumphrey says that one of her best memories was after she learned she was going to become a full time faculty member. “The goal was to build a wonderful art program,” she says. She also says that Dr. David Joyce and his wife were of great help as well, greatly aiding them in building said art program. The people she works with gave Pumphrey much enthusiasm. “I love the faculty that I work with. They have a lot of energy, a lot of heart, and they invest a lot of time to make a great program,” Pumphrey says. As far was what she’ll miss upon retiring, she says that she’ll miss “everything.” “I’ll miss seeing young people grow. I’ll really miss walking into the painting studio and seeing what has happened while I’ve been gone,” she says. It’s natural that students form lasting bonds with their professors, and Pumphrey has certainly done just that, in fact she still communicates with many of her old students. “I still talk to some who went here while it was a two year school. I know some who are doing it on a professional level,” she says. She also explains that seeing

Security Report By Zach Dickerson Campus News Editor

The most recent security reports for Brevard College have been released as of Monday, April 2 at 12:55 p.m., according to Brevard College Campus Security. There was a recent incident of a male student verbally threatening a female student. Everyone is reminded that this is an infraction of not only Brevard College regulations, but also a violation of state law. Students are requested not to “utter threats” against anyone, as the penalty for this action can be severe. Both through the college judicial processing as well as through civil courts. Don’t put yourselves in jeopardy. There was an incident in which a student’s car was damaged. The student’s car door was kicked in by someone. If anyone is observed in this type of behavior, call Campus Security immediately. This past weekend, a housekeeper encountered an unknown person in the Porter Center who was not authorized to be there. The person was not confrontational and left immediately when they were questioned by the housekeeper.

The unknown individual was described as being in their late twenties; 6’ 2’’ in height; thin; dark, curly hair; no hat; square, black trim glasses; tan shirt and slacks; small, black shoulder bag; and a pocket-sized flashlight. Campus Security was contacted immediately, as well as the city police department, and they and searched the entire building and found nothing suspicious. This incident reinforces the need to keep all doors and rooms of residence halls locked. Please don’t prop doors, disable locking mechanisms, or anything else to jeopardize the safety and security of the residence halls. Our campus is open to the public and there are many strangers that pass through. Please be aware of suspicious persons and immediately advise security if you see anyone who poses a potential threat. Everyone is requested to contact Campus Security at (828)-577-9590 if wrongful or suspicious activity is observed on campus.

those students be successful fills her with a “sense of pride” concluding that they’re “just wonderful people.” A fact that Pumphrey divulged was that the center of operations for the art program was originally located in Coltrane and that the Sims Art building used to house the Student Union. Saying that the Union wasn’t really being taken advantage of, eventually it was decided that the art program needed that space more. “It was around 1990 when it happened. We literally picked stuff up in trucks and moved them over,” Pumphrey says. A while after Sims was officially established, the lineup of instructors included herself, Professor Chapin (who joined BC in 1998) and Kyle Lusk, who along with being a student of the college in the 90’s, was at one time the Department Coordinator. After this semester concludes, among visiting her children, one thing Pumphrey and her husband plan on doing is “visiting a lot of museums and state parks,” enjoying some much needed rest and reflection upon all her work.

the Clarion Senior Staff Editor in Chief . . . . Jordon Morgan Managing Editor . . . Calum McAndrew Copy Editor . . . . . . Jeni Welch Campus News . . . . Zach Dickerson Opinion . . . . . . . . Florian Peyssonneaux Arts & Life . . . . . . Lauren M. Fowler Sports . . . . . . . . Calum McAndrew Layout & Design . . . Jeni Welch Faculty Advisor . . . . John B. Padgett

Other Staff Carmen Boone Ivy Pope Kelly Kearnan Daniel Ramos Mary Lewe Madison Ramsey Emily Massing Morgan Shepard Matheus Masukawa

The Clarion is a student-run college newspaper produced by student journalists enrolled at Brevard College. Unsigned editorials represent the collective opinion of the staff of The Clarion. Other opinions expressed in this newspaper are those of respective authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the faculty, staff or administration of Brevard College.

All correspondence should be mailed to: The Clarion, Brevard College, One Brevard College Drive, Brevard, NC 28712, or send E-mail to [email protected] clarion.brevard.edu

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Campus News

April 4, 2018 | The Clarion

Brevard’s Internationals

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The legal way to apply for a US VISA (and the legal way to be rejected) By Calum McAndrew Managing Editor

CALUM’S COLUMN

A lot of debate surrounds the topic of immigration to the United States, especially illegal immigration. The legal process to acquiring a VISA into the United States thus sometimes seems to slip through the cracks. While the subject of who should and who should not be allowed into the country splits Democrats and Republicans, there is a blind eye turned to the extortionate, outdated, and frankly bizarre process required to acquire legal entry to this country. Even in the case of a one-year extension to an existing student VISA, the process is extremely complicated and irrationally expensive. The optional practical training VISA, as reported in an earlier addition of the Clarion, is a one-year extension to the F-1, or student, VISA. There are several conditions that must be met for US Homeland Security to even glance in the approximate direction of this application, and these conditions must be followed to the letter. Several forms pertaining to the applicant must be obtained and copied. These include forms I-765, and an up to date I-20. In addition to this, a copy of the applicant’s passport must be made, as well as a copy of their current VISA. Two passport style headshot photographs also make the list, and they must be recent. Any passport style photograph more than one month old is unacceptable. These can be purchased for somewhere in the region of 15 dollars. A detailed job description for any and every piece of employment from the start date of the OPT, to the end date of the OPT, is also to be included. The type of job the applicant can take is limited, as they must find a job that is directly related to their field of study in college. Finally, a cheque, written out to Homeland Security for the value of 410 US Dollars, is also to be attached in the application form. Once all of this has been completed, the folder of documents and pay slips is sent to Homeland Security, who used to have to respond within 90 days. This

maximum response time, since January 2017, no longer exists. In addition to this, the BBC reports that applicants in the future will now also have to, “disclose all social media identities used in the past five years,” which on top of all the other problems this system has, adds possible freedom of speech rights infringement to the list. It is a long, stressful, expensive process for an international student who wishes to work in the U.S. for one year. This process becomes even longer, when an incredibly vague letter of rejection is returned. Attached to the rejection letter are the copious forms, photos and cheque provided in the initial application procedure. The check worth 410 dollars, despite my application being rejected, was never refunded. Thus begins the process of attempting to find out why the VISA was rejected in the first place. With all the necessary attachments, surely the decision had to be a formality? The first agent could not provide me with an answer to my question, and thus forwarded me on to another agent – with whom I had to book an appointment to speak to. After leaving my name and phone number, an automated message informed me that it would take Homeland Security an average of 237 minutes to return my call. 280 minutes later, an agent phoned. When asked to provide a reason for why my case was rejected, as not to repeat the mistake in a later application, the agent revealed that he did not have this information. Instead, I would have to visit another website, enter my details, and they would provide me with this explanation – in another 21 days. The immigration system is broken, even for someone from a country that Donald Trump, presumably, does not consider to be a “shithole.” Before anyone begins to discuss fixing the problem with immigrants entering the country illegally, the system must have a functioning legal method. Currently, it does not.

Holocaust field trip Continued from Page 1

Garden Restaurant in downtown Asheville,” said Tucker. “Students tried new foods including lamb and hummus.” Finally, the groups spent the afternoon at Beth HaTephila Synagogue and School in Asheville where they learned more about Jewish cultural and religious traditions. “Education Director Tobi Koritsky showed us their sacred Torah scrolls as well as works of art, other sacred objects including books and a shofar, and their school classrooms,” said Tucker. “We have read about some of these traditions in our literature, so it was neat to see them in person.” One student in the class, Julie Carter, recalls her time on the field trip, “Dr. Ziffer spoke on his experiences of his life in the camps and the feeling of finding his family after the war. He recalled that his father was left emotionless after everything.” After lunch, we visited a Jewish synagogue where we got to see their Torah and some of their practices that they abide by,” said Carter. “It was unforgettable to be able to shake the hand of a Holocaust survivor.”

“I was surprised by how upbeat Ziffer was, especially considering everything he went through,” said Max Beeler, another student on the field trip. “I hope the students treasure these meaningful experiences, and as our time with living Holocaust survivors is drawing to a close, I feel sure they will always remember Dr. Ziffer in particular,” said Tucker.

Photo courtesy of Jessica Tucker

The ENG 208 class in Asheville, meeting with Holocaust survivors and learning about the Jewish religion and culture.

Campus News Brandon Smith gets new title Alcohol Page 4

By Ivy Pope

Staff Writer Brandon Smith will be taking over a new title in August as the Associate Dean of Academic Affairs for Student Success. When asked about his qualifications, Brandon Smith said that “I have been teaching in higher education for about 10 years now, received tenure and the rank of associate professor at Brevard College, and I have been working in administration as a program coordinator for a number of years. I am also currently pursuing a doctorate in Educational Leadership.” Brandon Smith also stated that he has done a lot of community outreach work with the college, served on a number of committees, and most recently worked with faculty and staff on the Gateways to Completion pilot at the college. His current position is as the Coordinator of the Theatre Program. During his time holding the position, he has done many things academically, from working with students in the major, writing plays, and manuscripts, to creating ‘roadmaps’, which design a clear plan from where they are to where they want to be. He says hopes that a student’s time at college builds a bridge, rather than a bubble. He has experience working as a campus fundraiser, volunteer and organizer with other academic programs and events. Currently, he is an administrator and a faculty member. Smith said, “The college is a really special place, the longer I’ve been here, the more I’ve realized that it is unique.” He has spent a lot of time working with students on their academic and long-term goals. Smith goes on to say, “All of the work we are doing for student success on campus is a team effort. Faculty and staff are working hard

The Clarion

to better understand the educational needs and wants of our campus community, and then to make sure that we offer access to support systems which help each student achieve his or her academic goals.” Continuing, he says, “We have some incredibly talented folks working on this campus, and in many cases they are doing very innovative work in programs that we have yet to fully capitalize on.” When asked about his new position, he said that he has only known about it for a few weeks, but that he is already meeting with campus leaders like Deb D’anna, Scott Sheffield, Shirley Arnold, Marie Jones, Robert Dye, and others to make sure that any efforts they undertake are informed and meaningful to stakeholders. He hopes to continue his collaborative work with faculty and staff on systems and student support reimagination, as mentioned above. Though in his new position he will be primarily focused on understanding where the gaps are in the way students, faculty and staff interact and then work to create systems that support improvement. To start, he hopes to be able to engage people in discussions that illuminate how faculty, staff and students perceive the ways they currently utilize academic support systems on campus. That work will begin very soon, and will likely take the shape of surveys, focus groups, and roundtable discussions. “Ultimately, I am not walking into this job with any agenda beyond being a servant to the campus community. My hope is that this job opportunity allows me to engage in new ways with people at the college, understand what’s most important to them, and then work to support the initiatives that matters most to our campus community.”

| April 4, 2018

Screening Continued from Page 1

screening day, Dasburg will compile the results which will help to inform her about how well BC students are doing and about the general risk posed to individuals. Although this information is helpful, it will remain confidential. At the screening, students also had access to pamphlets about certain risk factors, such as a family history of alcoholism. Dasburg said that ultimately the strongest tools for protecting students are raising awareness and social norming. The official National Alcohol Screening Day falls on the Thursday of the first full week of April each year, April 7 in 2018. The purpose of the annual event is to raise awareness about the dangerous effects of alcohol abuse and dependency, and to reach out to students who may be in need of counseling services. The national screening event has been around since 1999. The counseling office conducts the alcoholism screening day yearly in the spring and adjusts the date from the national event in order to best serve the BC community. Each fall, the counseling office holds a similar mental health screening day. Students are able to earn Tornado Cup points and some professors offer extra credit for those who attend the events. If you or a friend is struggling with alcohol abuse or dependence, please reach out to the Office of Counseling, located in Stamey Hall, or email Dee Dasburg at [email protected].

Renovations start in MG!

Brevard College Maintenance worker Dave Cleveland puts up samples of paints in the McLarty-Goodson hallway for decisions to be made on which will be chosen to repaint the halls of MG. Renovations have already been made to the bathrooms and the water fountain in the building. Other renovations to be made on MG over the summer include changing the carpets in the halls to the linoleum style like the one in Myers Dining Hall, redoing the directory signs, and redoing the signs and numbering on the professors and classroom doors. — Zach Dickerson

The

Hilarion

Volume XOXOX, Issue LOL

SERVING BREVARD COLLEGE SINCE THE LATE PLEISTOCENE ERA

Homeland Security rejects VISA application By Calum McAndrew

Managing Foreigner In a controversial decision, United States Citizenship and Immigration Services representative, Agent Bill Williams, rejected the VISA application of Jesus Christ. Applying for an H-1B work VISA, Christ was a front-runner to take the coveted position as the CFO of Chacos footwear. This dream job, however, will now forever remain just a dream, after the rejection notice appeared in his mailbox in Bethlehem. Agent Bill Williams has received mixed reviews from around the United States following his decision, which he claims he did not make with ease. “Look, I don’t want to say no to anyone as much as the next guy, especially now,” Williams said. “I have a job to do though, and I can’t just ignore our department motto now, can I?” “No shirt, no shoes, no shitholes,” Williams explained. “It says it right here, below ‘In God We Trust.’” Due to recent changes in the law, applicants for any United States VISA must supply five years worth of social media history, telephone numbers, email addresses, travel history and family background, and Williams said Christ had cause for suspicion on all five counts. “Social media history, absent. Telephone numbers, absent. Email addresses, absent,” Williams said. “His travel history is very suspicious for a while, and then he’s off the grid for upwards of 2000 years. It would be unwise to rule out ISIS involvement. Don’t get me started on family background.” The decision caused particular uproar in Texas, where protesters gathered until the information circulated that Jesus was in fact from the Middle East. Donald Trump is yet to comment on the decision, but has taken to twitter to berate

April 1, 2017

Living Planet

Snallygasters seen in Pisgah National Forest By Lauren M. Fowler Mythical Creature Expert

Often when a rare or magical beast is spotted tromping amongst the trees in a national forest, the spot-ee is ridiculed or accused of being drunk. This past weekend however, a very credible source that cannot be questioned or otherwise convinced to reveal another story that might give rest to the troubling nature of the news, caught a glimpse of a rare and elusive Snallygaster. The first documented appearances of these rare beasts began in the early days of the settlement of the Southern Appalachians by German settlers. Located on a fault line, Pisgah National Forest and the surrounding area has always drawn many a strange and incredible creature such as the notorious sasquatch and snarly yaw. The first Snallygaster sighting in the Appalachians was recorded in 1730 by German settlers. “Claws like steel hooks, and an eye in the center of its forehead, the Schneller Geist terrorizes our livestock and gives our wives and children nightmares,” said one account. Schneller Geist can be translated to “quick spirit” and was often another name given to ghosts or unexplained spectral occurrences such as the appearance of such a beast. The Snallygaster has been described as a half reptile, half bird creatures with blade sharp talons, 10-25 foot long wingspan and bird’s beak filled with venomous, crocodile-like teeth. Many a young Appalachian child told their parents curious stories about where the cookies in the cookie jar had disappeared to - blaming the elusive Snallygaster and claiming the creature escaped out the mysteriously ajar kitchen window. In 1909, several accounts had been covered by local newspapers in the Frederick area of Maryland with claims of being cornered by the

beast - forced to stare at its huge and toothy grin afraid for the purity of their souls and soundness of their mental health. After many sightings and a deep rooted fear for demons living in the forest developing among settlers, these creatures were hunted and thought to have been eradicated. A falsified image of the “last” Snallygaster drowned in a tub of whiskey mash appeared in the Baltimore Sun in 1932 and people believed the Snallygaster’s reign of terror to have ended - until now. Sightings of this creature in Pisgah National Forest are of major concern to the Forest Service who, while attempting to keep the appearances quiet, also warns woods-goers to protect themselves by carrying a striped purple umbrella with them at all times or if unable to obtain said umbrella - a small picture of Marlon Bundo to distract the creature so as to escape inevitable death.

Photo courtesy of @realMarlonBundo twitter

The mighty Marlon Bundo strikes fear into the hearts of all men and appears to be the only weakness of the terrible Snallygaster.

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Government

New Presidential Requirements By Jeni Welch

Main Stream Media Snowflake

The candidates for the 2020 United States Presidency will have new prerequisites to meet if the vote is passed to amend Article 2, Section 1 of the Constitution, adding the requirement of courting mistresses. According to the U.S. Constitution a presidential candidate must be a natural born citizen of the United States, a resident for 14 years, and 35 years of age or older. But the current administration is looking to add to the list. The proposed amendment to the criteria come in light of the 45th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump, and his overwhelming positive support from the American people. It only makes sense that the American people want and deserve a 46th President of the same caliber. Trump announced this proposal via Twitter on April 1. At first, the nation laughed at what was thought to be an April Fools’ Joke, but FOX News confirmed the amendment proposal later that evening. Trump said that his decision was made after Stephanie Clifford, also known as Stormy Daniels, was interviewed on 60 Minutes only a week prior. The adult film star spoke

to Anderson Cooper about her alleged past relations with the President. “I didn’t say no [to sex]. I’m not a victim,” Clifford said. She also began the interview explaining why she was speaking out. She said, “because people are just saying whatever they wanted to say about me, I was perfectly fine saying nothing at all, but I’m not okay with being made out to be a liar, or people thinking that I did this for money.” Trump tweeted after the interview, “Look at how famous I have made her. If it had not been for ME her name would not be known and she would have NEVER been involved in a FAILING 60 Minutes interview.” Surprisingly the polls jumped after the interview and Trump’s approval rating jumped from the low 36.6 percent to 49.5 percent (the highest it has ever been). “The American people love affairs!” Trump tweeted. “All Presidents should have at least one, I am going to make it a law!” It seems that the second part of the interview did not have the same number of viewers as the first. Clifford said, “A guy walked up on me and said to me, ‘Leave Trump alone. Forget the story.’ And then he leaned around and looked at

my daughter and said, ‘That’s a beautiful little girl. It’d be a shame if something happened to her mom.’ And then he was gone.” Ignoring this part of the interview, Trump’s base has begun praising him for his positive influence for the adult film industry. One supporter said, “He is bringing back jobs to places the crooked internet thought it had taken away. I can’t wait to see how famous the rest of the accusing women will become.” It is no surprise that a mass number of supporters are in favor of the changes in requirements, and Trump feels like the leader for the hundreds of voices that had been left forgotten after the Obama administration. “Clifford said during the interview that she is getting more job offers,” another Trump supporter said. “If Trump can do that without giving her a job on The Apprentice imagine what he can do for the rest of ‘Merica.” The proposed change to Article 2, Section 1 of the Constitution has sparked conversation to also adjust Section 1 of Amendment 22. Although neither the President nor Congress has yet to answer questions on the matter, they may be waiting to see what happens in the presidential race of 2020.

April 1, 2018 | The Hilarion

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Guns to President Joyce had a replace RAs in previous modeling career?! Fall 2018 By Mary Lewe

Student Safety Correspondent Campus housing announced Monday that in lieu of RAs, this fall semester each student will be provided with a weapon which will be stored in their rooms and used in case of emergency. “We feel this is the best way to keep students safe,” a campus life administrator said. Many students are thrilled, as they have been petitioning campus life in an attempt to store their own personal weapons in dorms for quite a while. Campus Life wants to ensure that students are capable of defending themselves, so there will be a required one credit hour course (GUN 101) which all new and returning students must take beginning next semester. After completing the required course, students can opt to take higher level marksmanship courses, or sign a waiver stating that they feel competent in their self-defense capabilities. “I’ve been trying to get them to let me keep my hunting rifle on me for ages, I’m glad they’re finally seeing the light and realizing that the only thing that can keep us students safe is to arm us,” one student said regarding the change in policy. Some students who applied to be RAs are less excited about the amendment, especially in light of the lack of RA positions. While a few of these students are worried that students will not have the support of well-trained RAs, many are simply frustrated that they will not be getting half-off of their housing costs. “Yeah, you could say I’m frustrated,” one student said. “But at least I’ll get a pretty cool work study over in the villages. But yeah, I was honestly in it for the money and now I feel like it’s just kind of a waste since I’ll have to pay the full housing costs. “At least I’ll get a shiny new gun though, that almost makes up for it.” In order to keep those new guns shiny and in working order for semesters to come, Tornado Alley will be the site of gun cleaning parties where students can care for their weapons. Make sure to check your bill for the fall carefully. There will be a $200 “Safety Fee” added to each student’s account in order to cover the cost of the weapons. If students would prefer to use their own personal weapon they must opt out of the initiative and fill out a form which will provide the housing office with the specs of their personal weapons.

Courtesy of Josh Rosen

An old 1997 issue of “National Geographic” magazine was found by Josh Rosen, a 2007 graduate of Brevard College. Inside the issue is an ad for a Ford Citibank Card that features ... President David Joyce! At the time, Joyce was president of Union College in Kentucky. (Editor’s note: This is not an April Fool’s joke. This was a real magazine ad, and The Clarion’s intrepid band of fact checkers have since located at least one more example of this ad, on page 115 of the November 1996 issue of “Ski” magazine. But if this ad does somehow turn out to be a joke, well, I guess the joke’s on us....)

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The Hilarion

| April 1, 2018

Domesticating white squirrels Easter Sunday reenactment By Mary Lewe Pet Detective

Students on campus have begun attempts to domesticate local white squirrels. In recent years, BC has seen a dramatic increase in emotional support animals on campus – mostly cats and dogs – but now students are looking to have a more homegrown pet experience. The white squirrels came to Brevard over 100 years ago when they hitched a ride with a circus headed toward the local Rockbrook Camp for Girls. The squirrels were trained as acrobats and were treated as slave. However, they quickly set themselves free from the confines of their cages and began new lives. More recent generations of white squirrels have taken to begging tourists for bites of their Dolly’s ice cream, hanging out in the pockets of friendly elderly hikers and even communicating in a secret language with the other local grey squirrels, with whom they interbreed. BC students got the idea for domesticating the squirrels after the angelic little creatures began hanging outside Myers Dining Hall and Coltrane begging for food. The students who fed the squirrels were then followed back to their dorms, where the squirrels would await their return patiently. As it turns out, white squirrels are as loyal as golden retrievers, only bonding with one student. When other students attempt to feed a squirrel who has already bonded with a master, it will actually chase the students, making loud hissing and chattering sounds. Dr. Jennifer Frick-Ruppert says that this is a lower masting year when it comes to the typical acorns that feed our beautiful squirrel

population. In other words, the squirrels were probably starving. Without the kindness of BC students, the population would likely be in decline. Sadly, the beautiful bond between student and squirrel has a dark side. The white squirrels who have found loving owners on campus are suffering from obesity due to the high-calorie food found in the Dining Hall and Coltrane. Many have lost mobility and have taken to be carried around campus by their owners. “I try to walk him every day, but he’s so lazy sometimes he will simply lay down and refuse!” one student said about his beloved squirrel. “I get back from classes and he has been napping all day, or making a nest in my t-shirt drawer. I’m getting worried.” Some students of the ecology department say that domestication is harmful to the squirrels, and could actually affect their breeding. But many of the locals say that this is nothing short of normal here in Brevard. “We been keeping squirrels for as long as I can remember, and I’ve been here a long time,” one community member shared. “I honestly can’t imagine my life without these beautiful squirrels. “You know we’re the only place that’s got ‘em?” he continued. Despite the detriment to the health of the squirrels, the Office of Residence Life is continuing to receive applications for emotional support squirrels daily. Students should make sure their pets are getting adequate exercise and are being fed an appropriate squirrel diet from the cafeteria and Coltrate, consisting mostly of vegetables, fruits and nuts.

By Morgan Shepard

President of the Flat Earth Society Over Easter weekend, a man named Nathaniel “Nate” Albertson entered into Curled Cave on Good Friday and would not emerge until Easter day. When asked his reasoning behind staying in the cave for three days, his response was, “I just wanted to try and recreate Jesus’ resurrection. Jesus fooled everyone thinking he was dead, and he walked out and was like ‘Surprise Satan! I’m not dead!’ and I thought that was cool so I wanted to do it myself.” Nobody thought Nate was dead, they only thought he was crazy for trying to formulate his plan. Nate emerged on Easter, unharmed, only a bit dirty and hungry. His first words upon coming out of the cave were, “Who do I have to kill around here to get some french fries?!” Authorities have advised anybody for future years to not try and recreate Jesus’ resurrection. Curled Cave and other surrounding caves, will be blocked off for Easter in the coming years, to avoid this from happening again.

‘Ultimate Brevard’ turned on its head after Chisholm banned By Mary Lewe Media Expect

Jimmy Chisolm, the administrator of local Facebook group “Ultimate Brevard (Unmonitored)” has been banned after a nude photo he posted was reported. Chisolm created the group after being repeatedly banned and “censored” in other groups on the website. Chisolm was reportedly removed from Facebook for a period of thirty days after a photograph of him posing nude wearing only a red baseball cap next to his beloved cow, Darcy, was reported by a member of the group. Apparently “Ultimate Brevard” is more moderated than Chisolm would have liked. Photo from Violentz Flicker

Chief (picture above) enjoying a snack beneath a beautiful tree before returning to his home in Green Hall.

Opinion John Bolton to be Nat’l Security Advisor April 4, 2018 | The Clarion

By Jordon Morgan

Editor in Chief In President Trump’s never ending revolving door of staff firings, resignations, and appointments, the latest stop has the president appointing John Bolton, former United States Ambassador to the United Nations, as his new National Security Advisor, replacing Lieutenant General H.R. McMaster (who replaced General Mike Flynn). Though it was at best fairly non-existent to begin with, any sense of restraint and decency Trump had is slowly being phased away. Through a combination of a Congress filled with cowardly Republicans either not having any desire or not having any courage to stand up to Trump’s madness, and the fact that the list of people who have any sort of influence over him is slowly dwindling. Maureen Dowd of The New York Times made an eloquent statement that is frighteningly true. She said that “It’s unnerving covering a president who is treated like a boy king, requiring minders; who is easily swayed because he is under informed; who can sit still only long enough for short oral briefings; who swaggers and mocks to mask his insecurities; who tries to replace real news with faux; and who can’t seem to fathom

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that distorting reality to suit political ends is dangerous.” Digressing, the aforementioned list of people losing influence over the president includes his Chief of Staff John Kelly. Apparently, Trump is truly starting to fulfill his dictatorial fantasies by putting himself in the mindset that he doesn’t need anyone’s advice or consent, and his attempts at blocking a legitimate investigation into his alleged ties to Russia are becoming more blatant. According to AOL, John Kelly “has reportedly been left out of key decisions, including last week’s ouster of national security adviser H.R. McMaster and the hiring of John Bolton, the former US ambassador to the UN,” in addition to the fact that “Kelly has also been sidelined during Trump’s calls with foreign leaders, according to Bloomberg,” AOL says. This is troubling, but what’s more troubling is his appointment of Bolton. It is reasonable to say that John Bolton is one of the most, if not the most, hawkish, fiercest advocates for war, in particular against Iran and Russia. Not to mention the fact that despite the overwhelming consensus, based on years of evidence, falsified reports now debunked, and

a realization of the chaos it caused, that the Iraq War was an unmitigated disaster, John Bolton still hasn’t caught up with reality. According to Dowd again, she says that “he [Bolton] pushed to go to war in Iraq and still thinks it was a good idea, just as he has pushed to go to war in North Korea and get regime change in Iran and Syria. He is a fervent believer in preemptive war.” What is even more confusing about Trump’s appointment is that he is appointing a man who supports a war that he himself was against. Again quoting Dowd: “In 2013, Trump tweeted: ‘All former Bush administration officials should have zero standing on Syria. Iraq was a waste of blood & treasure.’” Yet here we are. We have come full circle, regressing nearly 10 years and recreating Bush’s warmongering administration. We have a president that shows an explicit disregard and uninterest in our rule of law, is a thin-skinned man child that hasn’t earned a single thing in his life, and arguably wants to turn our republic into an autocracy (I mean a man who “jokes” about ending Presidential term limits isn’t to be taken lightly). Let’s hope that this country can last until 2020. Democrats, don’t screw this up.

Catalonia’s former president arrested in Germany By Florian Peyssonneaux

Opinion Editor On Friday, March. 23, Supreme Court Judge Pablo Llarena agreed to unconstitutional imprisonment of the presidential candidate for the Catalan government Jordi Turull, from the former president of the Catalan parliament Carme Forcadell and its advisers Raül Romeva, Josep Rull, and Dolors Bassa. On Sunday, March 25, former president of the Generalitat Carles Puigdemont was arrested while crossing the German border in order to enter Belgium. This was in response to the European and international warrant delivered by the same judge. The same kind of warrants are also in application for politicians Antoni Comin, Meritxell Serret, Lluis Puig, Clara Ponsati and Marta Rovira who are currently in Belgium, Scotland and Switzerland respectively. It might be illegal, but is it unethical for politicians to be imprisoned for their ideas without any trial? At the same time people who are sentenced to jail for corruption or money laundering can remain free until their sentence starts. Hundreds of protestors were in the streets of Catalonia to protest the imprisonment of the leader of the Catalan political party. In Tarragona, Spain, on of the main highway has

been cut by protesters with slogans such as “Puigdemont our president”, or in Sallent, roads have been cutted as well which in Gerona where protesters gathered in front of the delegation of the Spanish government in Catalonia. In Barcelona, the biggest city of the Catalan region, a giant protest with a giant banner saying“llibertat presos polítics” (a movement which tries to free the Catalan politicians from jail), was on the rise. The march started in front of the delegation of the European Union and ended with a speech of a manifesto in front of the German consulate. Gathering also occured in front of the building of the Spanish government in Barcelona. On Sunday, April. 1, hundreds of protesters from Catalonia made the trip to Berlin to ask for the liberation of the former president of the region Carles Puigdemont as he faces the extradition to Spain on rebellion charges. More recently, the president of the parliament appeared in the media to ask the Catalan citizens to respond to this event in a nonviolent way. Even if this is considered an outrage from the Spanish government, that is clearly seen as an invitation for democracy. He warns that Catalonia has became a laboratory in which the Spanish government is

testing its repression against any opinion that goes against the Spanish government’s interests. As the current situation in Spain and Catalonia is very tense, independent parties from Catalonia are thinking about taking actions against the repression that its leaders have taken part in. Half a year after the Catalan independence was declared unconstitutional by the Spanish government, three possibilities seems to stand out of this situation: a general strike, a permanent mobilisation, or the immediate election of Carles Puigdemont as president. This situation really puts Spain in a delicate positional socially and economically. Even if the election that occured in Catalonia to vote on the independence wasn’t legal for Madrid’s government, and done in some dubious ways, the methods used by the Spanish government are at the limit of being authoritarian regime. Where does one’s freedom ends if politicians are send to prison because of the ideas that they support? Even if their should be regulations on how a region could gain its independence, and the conditions of the vote, people from Catalonia should be listened to by the Spanish government to avoid huge conflicts that will hurt both sides in the next months.

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Sports

Men’s Lacrosse has perfect record at home

The Brevard Men’s Lacrosse team defeated Averett in the last home game of the season on Saturday afternoon. The win marked a perfect season at home (8-0). The Tornados will graduate five seniors in the 2018 class. Brevard’s offense was led by Senior Kyle Hunziker and Junior Jackson McKaig, each tallying five goals each. Junior Hewitt Farr scored four goals and Freshman Sam Duffie followed with three goals. Senior David Buono scored his only goal late in the second quarter. Duffie also led the team in

assists with six, while McKaig closely followed with four assists. Sophomore Robert Kokal finished the game with 15 ground balls, his best of the season. Senior goalie Xzavier Holmes-Copeland made three stops and Freshman goalie Peyton Mooney saved four. The Tornados will travel to Union on Saturday, April 7 and continue to Pfeiffer University one week later for their last game of the season.

—Kelly Kearnan

Photo courtesy of BC Tornados

Lacrosse seniors pose at Senior Night. David Buono, Kyle Hunziker, Austin Sweat, Cole Hansen, and Xzavier Holmes-Copeland (from left to right) will graduate May 2018.

The Clarion

| April 4, 2018

BC Tornados Baseball defeated in two games this weekend

The BC Tornados played against Pfeiffer and Montreat this weekend, but they did not have success in both games. In the game on Friday 30, Bc Tornados lost by 21-7, Tyler Timms with 5 AB got one run and three hits, also Beau Shealy had three hits and one run, Bc Tornados had in the game seven runs, 14 hits and 4 errors in total. The final score was 21-7 to Pfeiffer. In the game on Saturday 31, the BC Tornados did not have success as well, losing the first match 6-2. They had two runs by Mikey and Matthew Meijas and seven hits in the end of the game. In the second game, BC Tornados got a single run by Jadon Wooten and six hits, but the final result was 6-1 for Pfeiffer. At a game on Monday, April 2 at Montreat College, the Tornados lost 9-8 in a even game. BC Tornados come back to action on Friday, April 6 to play against Covenant College in the end of the season.

— Matheus Masukawa

Anton, Hayden Earn Top 10 Finishes at Montreat Invitational By Stan Smith

Media Relations Assistant The Brevard track & field team took part in the Montreat Invitational over the weekend, earning 17 top 25 finishes along the way, including Michael Anton and Rhyanna Haden who finished ninth in the men’s 800 meter run and the women’s shot put, respectively. Anton earned ninth place after crossing the line in a time of 2:02.07, finishing ahead of teammate Hassan Kiprono (2:07.92—18th), who also took part in the event. The Tornado tandem of Kiprono and Anton also took part in the men’s 1500 meter event, with Kiprono placing 14th (4:21.28) and Anton crossing the line 10 spots later in a time of 4:29.73. Haden, Brevard’s top women’s finisher on the weekend, brought home ninth place in the shot put after a heave of 9.54 meters in her third attempt. She eclipsed the nine meter mark on her first toss and finished with an 8.72 heave in her second. Joining her in the shot put event was Mackenzie Lautenschlager, who placed 24th after recording a 6.18 meter toss in her final attempt.

Three members of the Tornados men’s team took part in the 100 meter dash, including Dylan Bradley, who wrapped up the event 12th in a time of 11.19. He was followed in the event by Quentin Jackson (11.54—22nd) and Orrlando Johnson (12.12—29th). Joseph Roberts, one of five Brevard participants to earn multiple top 25 performances, placed 16th in both the shot put (10.90 meters) and discus (32.21 meter) events. Gabriel Covington also took part in the shot put for the Tornados, placing 23rd with a heave of 9.94 meters. Roberts opened the shot put with a toss of 10.17 meters and after a foul on his attempt the freshman recovered to finish with a mark of 10.90 meters in his final toss. He had a similar finish in the discus as he began the day with a heave of 21.68 meters. His second attempt landed him the 16th place finish, with a heave of 32.21 meters, as he notched a 30.47 meter chuck on his final attempt. Shakirah Thompson bolted her way to a 17th place finish in the women’s 200 meter dash in a time of 28.44. Joining her with a 19th place outing in the women’s 800 meter run

was Courtney Perkins, who crossed the line in 2:40.47. Meanwhile, in the men’s 200 meter dash, Jackson had top honors for Brevard with a 17th place showing after crossing the line in 23.08. He was one of seven Tornados to compete in the 200 meter dash along with Bradley (23.46— 25th), Leejhai Wells (23.72—34th), Martigus Henley (24.40—39th), Ke’Vel Kingsberry (25.04—42nd), Johnson (25.34—45th) and Roberts (26.02—48th). The remaining top 25 finisher on the women’s side was Molly Brown, who recorded a 25th place finish in the women’s 1500 meter run in a time of 6:31.42. Her male counterpart, George Dowis, ended the men’s 1500 meter run in 4:49.48. The men’s 4x100 meter relay team, which was comprised of Johnson, Roberts, Wells and Jake Trainor, placed seventh in a time of 46.07. The Tornados return to action on April 6-7 when they head to Central, S.C., to take part in the Susan Rouse Invitational hosted by Southern Wesleyan University.