Becoming a Great Friend

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Jul 19, 2015 - chained with the soul of David.” Aristotle defined friendship as “a single soul dwelling in two bodie
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Becoming a Great Friend Becoming  a  Great  Friend    

 

Dr. Brandon Park | July 19, 2015

         Most  people  are  not  living  at  the  peak  of  their  spiritual  experience.  They  know  how  to  fire  it  up,  but   they  don’t  know  how  to  keep  it  going.  One  of  the  best  ways  to  keep  it  going  is  through  the   accountability  that  c omes  through  great  Biblical  friendships.  The  Christian  life  is  not  a  solo  gig.  It   requires  teamwork.  We  desperately  need  each  other  so  that  when  we  want  to  quit  we  can’t  because   our  friends  won’t  allow  it!              Those  closest  to  you  will  ___________________  your  level  of  success  or  failure  in  life!  If  you  bring   good  people  around  you,  they  will  bless  you.  If  you  bring  the  wrong  people  around  you,  they  will  curse   you.  The  friends  you  choose  will  greatly  determine  the  quality  and  direction  of  your  life.            David  and  Jonathan  had  what  is  perhaps  the  most  famous  friendship  in  the  history  of  the  world.     King  Saul  (Jonathan’s  father)  was  jealous  of  the  popularity  David  had  after  defeating  Goliath.     Eventually,  Saul’s  jealousy  and  hatred  of  David  grew  to  the  point  where  he  was  trying  to  kill  him.    David   was  now  facing  an  even  greater  giant,  but  God  brought  the  one  thing  that  he  desperately  needed  at  this   point  in  his  life  –  a  friend.  If  ever  there  was  a  friendship  with  the  cards  stacked  against  it,  this  was  the   one.  Jonathan  was  first  in  line  to  the  throne  under  his  father  Saul,  and  David  had  been  anointed  king  by   Samuel  according  to  God’s  direction.  You’d  never  think  two  people  who  wanted  the  same  throne  could   become  friends,  but  they  did,  and  out  of  their  adversity  came  a  powerful  picture  of  friendship.              A  Biblical  friend  holds  you  up  when  you  __________________  and  holds  you  down  when  you   ___________________.            Notice  the  six  ways  that  Jonathan  supported  David.  These  are  the  ways  we  can  support  our  friends   and  become  a  great  friend  for  others.  Ask  yourself:  “Am  I  that  kind  of  friend?”    

1.  Great  friends  give  you  their  _______________.  

       You  need  to  love  your  friends  better  than  y ourself.  “Now  it  came  about  when  he  had  finished   speaking  to  Saul,  that  the  soul  of  Jonathan  was  knit  to  the  soul  of  David,  and  Jonathan  loved  him  as   himself”  (1  Samuel  18:1).  Literally  translated,  what  this  verse  says  is  that  “The  soul  of  Jonathan  was   chained  with  the  soul  of  David.”            Aristotle  defined  friendship  as  “a  single  soul  dwelling  in  two  bodies.”  Jonathan  had  the  highest  love   that  one  could  have  for  another  because  we  read:  “Jonathan  loved  him  as  himself.”  Do  you  realize   that  before  you  can  really  love  others,  you  have  to  learn  to  love  yourself?  I  know  a  secret  about   people  who  don’t  come  across  as  very  loving  –  they  have  a  hard  time  loving  themselves.            Jonathan  could  have  easily  been  jealous  of  David,  because  he  was  the  rightful  heir  to  the  throne.     He  said  in  effect,  “David,  even  though  I  know  you  are  going  to  take  my  place  as  king  of  the  nation,  I  am   going  to  be  your  friend  for  life.”            There  are  no  conditions  to  true  friendship.  Someone  has  well  said  that  “Friends  are  like  good   health;  you  don’t  realize  what  a  gift  they  are  until  you  lose  them.”    

2.  Great  friends  give  you  their  _______________.  

         A  Biblical  friend  holds  you  up  when  you  stumble  because  they  are  there  for  you.  “And  Jonathan,   Saul’s  son,  rose  and  went  to  David”  (I  Samuel  23:16).  Jonathan  had  many  reasons  for  staying  away.  He   had  everything  to  lose  and  nothing  to  gain  personally.  He  was  risking  his  father’s  wrath.  When  he  got   up  to  leave  the  table  in  the  palace,  his  father  grabbed  his  spear  and  threw  it  at  his  own  son  to  try  to   kill  him  (1  Samuel  20:30–33).  That’s  how  crazy  Saul  was.  In  siding  with  David,  Jonathan  was  risking  his   own  position.  After  all,  if  Jonathan  let  King  Saul  kill  David,  Jonathan  would  inherit  the  throne.  David   was  alone,  and  he  was  afraid.  And  Jonathan  said  to  himself,  “There  is  no  way  that  I  am  going  to  let   him  down.”  He  went  to  David.              When  it  comes  to  friendship,  ________________  is  far  m ore  important  than  _______________.   The  best  definition  I  ever  read  of  a  friend  is  this:  “A  friend  is  someone  who  will  walk  into  your  house   when  the  whole  world  just  walked  out.”  A  real  friend  is  in  your  corner  when  you  are  cornered.            There  are  different  levels  of  relationship.       • There  are  __________________  –  these  are  the  people  you  may  get  a  Christmas  card  from.   • There  are  __________________  –  these  are  the  people  you  may  work  with,  have  lunch   with  on  occasion.   • Then  there  are  _____________  ________________  who  will  stick  with  you  and  stay  with   you  no  matter  what.  

3.  Great  friends  give  you  their  _____________________.  

         A  Biblical  friend  holds  you  up  when  you  stumble  by  praying  with  you.  Samuel  reported  that   Jonathan  not  only  went  to  David,  but  “strengthened  his  hand  in  God”  ( 1  Samuel  23:16).    The  NASB   translates  it,  “He  …  encouraged  him.”  The  Hebrew  text  is  much  more  specific  than  that.  It  says  literally   “and  strengthened  his  hand  in  God.”  David  was  a  mighty  man  of  faith.  Notice  that  even  great  men  and   women  of  faith  have  times  when  their  faith  struggles.            Often  when  we  go  to  minister  to  people,  there  is  nothing  to  say.  The  burden  is  too  big;  the  hurt  is   too  great.  It’s  about  presence,  and  it’s  about  prayer.  We  need  friends  who  will  take  us  to  God,  and  we   need  to  be  that  kind  of  friend  to  others  who  are  struggling.            Can’t  you  just  hear  Jonathan  saying,  “Hey,  David,  I  can’t  solve  this.  B ut  I  know  who  can.”  He  probably   put  his  arm  around  him  and  said,  “We  need  to  pray  about  this.  We  need  to  take  this  before  the  Lord.”     Real,  genuine  B iblical  friends  pray  with  one  another  and  for  one  another.  Think  about  the  people  who   you  would  consider  “friends”  and  ask  yourself:  1.)“Do  they  bring  out  the  best  in  me  or  the  worst?”  2.)   “Am  I  better  for  being  around  them  or  worse?  3.)  Do  they  motivate  me  to  do  more  or  less?”     "The  righteous  should  choose  his  friends  carefully,  for  the  way  o f  the  wicked  leads  them  astray"   (Proverbs  12:26).    

4.  Great  friends  give  you  their  ____________________.  

         A  Biblical  friend  holds  you  up  when  you  stumble  by  protecting  you.  Jonathan  gave  his  friend   assurance:  “Do  not  fear,  for  the  hand  of  Saul  my  father  shall  n ot  find  you”  ( verse  17).            When  David  heard  those  words  of  support,  he  gained  strength.  There  is  nothing  worse  than  a  so-­‐ called  friend  who  comes  along  when  you  are  in  crisis  and  says,  “Hey,  I  can  see  why  you’re  upset.  Yeah,   she  drives  me  c razy,  too!”  Or,  “You  have  every  right  to  feel  that  way.”  When  our  heart  is  a  tornado,   the  last  thing  we  need  is  for  somebody  to  show  up  with  a  fan.  That’s  not  friendship.  Biblical  friendship   provides  words  that  protect  and  support  our  troubled  emotional  state  during  hardship.            In  c hapters  18-­‐20,  you  find  that  six  different  times  Saul  tried  to  kill  David  until  David  was  finally   forced  to  become  a  fugitive  on  the  run.  In  fact,  Jonathan  saves  David’s  life  by  informing  him  that  Saul   intended  to  kill  him.  In  a  secret  meeting,  they  had  an  incredibly  moving  departure  scene,  because  they   both  knew  they  may  not  ever  see  each  other  again  (read  1  Samuel  20:41-­‐42).        

5.  Great  friends  give  you  their  ___________  ____________.  

         A  Biblical  friend  holds  you  up  when  you  stumble  by  confirming  their  personal  loyalty.  Jonathan  said,   “You  shall  be  king  over  Israel,  and  I  shall  b e  next  to  you”  ( verse  17).  As  if  to  say,  “Hey  Dave,  let  me  paint   a  picture  of  our  future.  I  already  figured  it  out:  you’re  going  to  be  king—not  me!  And  don’t  even  worry   about  whether  that’s  going  to  sever  our  relationship.  I’m  fine  with  being  number  two  as  long  as  you’re   number  one.”  No  wonder  David  loved  him.                “Then  Jonathan  made  a  covenant  with  David  b ecause  h e  loved  him  as  himself.  Jonathan  stripped   himself  o f  the  robe  that  was  on  h im  and  gave  it  to  David,  with  his  armor,  including  his  sword  and  his   bow  and  his  belt”  (1  Samuel  18:3-­‐4).            What  did  Jonathan  give  David  that  symbolized  his  loyalty?     • His  robe  symbolized  his  _________________.  It  was  a  symbol  of  both  his  status  as  prince   and  his  future  role  as  king.     • His  armor  symbolized  his  ____________________.  His  armor  was  a  picture  of  his  role  as   commander-­‐in-­‐chief  over  all  the  armies.     • His  belt  symbolized  his  ____________________.  The  belt  was  the  chief  ornament  of  a   soldier  worn  only  by  the  wealthy  and  by  royalty,  which  represented  all  that  he  could  have   had  as  king,  but  he  was  giving  up  for  David.              In  the  Good  News  Translation  of  the  Bible,  Proverbs  18:24  says,  “Some  friendships  do  not  last,  but   some  friends  are  more  loyal  than  brothers.”    

6.  Great  friends  give  you  their  ____________________.              A  Biblical  friend  holds  you  up  when  you  stumble  by  confirming  the  friendship  with  a  promise.  “Then   Jonathan  made  a  covenant  with  David…”  (1  Samuel  18:3).  This  is  a  picture  of  two  men  saying,  “Let’s   stand  together  in  this.  Let’s  make  a  commitment  to  each  other  that  together  we’re  going  to  be  the   men  that  God  wants  us  to  be.”              You  might  be  thinking:  “I  wish  I  had  a  Jonathan  in  my  life.”  You  can  have  a  Jonathan  in  your  life  if   you  will  be  a  Jonathan  in  someone  else’s  life.  Proverbs 18:24,  “A  man  who  has  friends  must  himself  be   friendly.”  Ask  yourself:  If  you  were  another  person,  would  y ou  like  to  be  a  friend  of  yours?  In  the  next   30  days,  find  someone  that  you  can  be  a  Jonathan  to.        

   

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Becoming a Great Friend Becoming  a  Great  Friend    

 

Dr. Brandon Park | July 19, 2015

         Most  people  are  not  living  at  the  peak  of  their  spiritual  experience.  They  know  how  to  fire  it  up,  but   they  don’t  know  how  to  keep  it  going.  One  of  the  best  ways  to  keep  it  going  is  through  the   accountability  that  c omes  through  great  Biblical  friendships.  The  Christian  life  is  not  a  solo  gig.  It   requires  teamwork.  We  desperately  need  each  other  so  that  when  we  want  to  quit  we  can’t  because   our  friends  won’t  allow  it!     determine          Those  closest  to  you  will  ___________________   your  level  of  success  or  failure  in  life!  If  you  bring   good  people  around  you,  they  will  bless  you.  If  you  bring  the  wrong  people  around  you,  they  will  curse   you.  The  friends  you  choose  will  greatly  determine  the  quality  and  direction  of  your  life.            David  and  Jonathan  had  what  is  perhaps  the  most  famous  friendship  in  the  history  of  the  world.     King  Saul  (Jonathan’s  father)  was  jealous  of  the  popularity  David  had  after  defeating  Goliath.     Eventually,  Saul’s  jealousy  and  hatred  of  David  grew  to  the  point  where  he  was  trying  to  kill  him.    David   was  now  facing  an  even  greater  giant,  but  God  brought  the  one  thing  that  he  desperately  needed  at  this   point  in  his  life  –  a  friend.  If  ever  there  was  a  friendship  with  the  cards  stacked  against  it,  this  was  the   one.  Jonathan  was  first  in  line  to  the  throne  under  his  father  Saul,  and  David  had  been  anointed  king  by   Samuel  according  to  God’s  direction.  You’d  never  think  two  people  who  wanted  the  same  throne  could   become  friends,  but  they  did,  and  out  of  their  adversity  came  a  powerful  picture  of  friendship.     stumble          A  Biblical  friend  holds  you  up  when  you  __________________   and  holds  you  down  when  you   stray ___________________.            Notice  the  six  ways  that  Jonathan  supported  David.  These  are  the  ways  we  can  support  our  friends   and  become  a  great  friend  for  others.  Ask  yourself:  “Am  I  that  kind  of  friend?”    

1.  Great  friends  give  you  their  _______________.   priority

       You  need  to  love  your  friends  better  than  y ourself.  “Now  it  came  about  when  he  had  finished   speaking  to  Saul,  that  the  soul  of  Jonathan  was  knit  to  the  soul  of  David,  and  Jonathan  loved  him  as   himself”  (1  Samuel  18:1).  Literally  translated,  what  this  verse  says  is  that  “The  soul  of  Jonathan  was   chained  with  the  soul  of  David.”            Aristotle  defined  friendship  as  “a  single  soul  dwelling  in  two  bodies.”  Jonathan  had  the  highest  love   that  one  could  have  for  another  because  we  read:  “Jonathan  loved  him  as  himself.”  Do  you  realize   that  before  you  can  really  love  others,  you  have  to  learn  to  love  yourself?  I  know  a  secret  about   people  who  don’t  come  across  as  very  loving  –  they  have  a  hard  time  loving  themselves.            Jonathan  could  have  easily  been  jealous  of  David,  because  he  was  the  rightful  heir  to  the  throne.     He  said  in  effect,  “David,  even  though  I  know  you  are  going  to  take  my  place  as  king  of  the  nation,  I  am   going  to  be  your  friend  for  life.”            There  are  no  conditions  to  true  friendship.  Someone  has  well  said  that  “Friends  are  like  good   health;  you  don’t  realize  what  a  gift  they  are  until  you  lose  them.”    

presence 2.  Great  friends  give  you  their  _______________.  

         A  Biblical  friend  holds  you  up  when  you  stumble  because  they  are  there  for  you.  “And  Jonathan,   Saul’s  son,  rose  and  went  to  David”  (I  Samuel  23:16).  Jonathan  had  many  reasons  for  staying  away.  He   had  everything  to  lose  and  nothing  to  gain  personally.  He  was  risking  his  father’s  wrath.  When  he  got   up  to  leave  the  table  in  the  palace,  his  father  grabbed  his  spear  and  threw  it  at  his  own  son  to  try  to   kill  him  (1  Samuel  20:30–33).  That’s  how  crazy  Saul  was.  In  siding  with  David,  Jonathan  was  risking  his   own  position.  After  all,  if  Jonathan  let  King  Saul  kill  David,  Jonathan  would  inherit  the  throne.  David   was  alone,  and  he  was  afraid.  And  Jonathan  said  to  himself,  “There  is  no  way  that  I  am  going  to  let   him  down.”  He  went  to  David.     quality quantity          When  it  comes  to  friendship,  ________________   is  far  m ore  important  than  _______________.   The  best  definition  I  ever  read  of  a  friend  is  this:  “A  friend  is  someone  who  will  walk  into  your  house   when  the  whole  world  just  walked  out.”  A  real  friend  is  in  your  corner  when  you  are  cornered.            There  are  different  levels  of  relationship.       acquainstances • There  are  __________________   –  these  are  the  people  you  may  get  a  Christmas  card  from.   companions • There  are  __________________   –  these  are  the  people  you  may  work  with,  have  lunch   with  on  occasion.   genuine friends • Then  there  are  _____________   ________________   who  will  stick  with  you  and  stay  with   you  no  matter  what.  

prayers 3.  Great  friends  give  you  their  _____________________.  

         A  Biblical  friend  holds  you  up  when  you  stumble  by  praying  with  you.  Samuel  reported  that   Jonathan  not  only  went  to  David,  but  “strengthened  his  hand  in  God”  ( 1  Samuel  23:16).    The  NASB   translates  it,  “He  …  encouraged  him.”  The  Hebrew  text  is  much  more  specific  than  that.  It  says  literally   “and  strengthened  his  hand  in  God.”  David  was  a  mighty  man  of  faith.  Notice  that  even  great  men  and   women  of  faith  have  times  when  their  faith  struggles.            Often  when  we  go  to  minister  to  people,  there  is  nothing  to  say.  The  burden  is  too  big;  the  hurt  is   too  great.  It’s  about  presence,  and  it’s  about  prayer.  We  need  friends  who  will  take  us  to  God,  and  we   need  to  be  that  kind  of  friend  to  others  who  are  struggling.            Can’t  you  just  hear  Jonathan  saying,  “Hey,  David,  I  can’t  solve  this.  B ut  I  know  who  can.”  He  probably   put  his  arm  around  him  and  said,  “We  need  to  pray  about  this.  We  need  to  take  this  before  the  Lord.”     Real,  genuine  B iblical  friends  pray  with  one  another  and  for  one  another.  Think  about  the  people  who   you  would  consider  “friends”  and  ask  yourself:  1.)“Do  they  bring  out  the  best  in  me  or  the  worst?”  2.)   “Am  I  better  for  being  around  them  or  worse?  3.)  Do  they  motivate  me  to  do  more  or  less?”     "The  righteous  should  choose  his  friends  carefully,  for  the  way  o f  the  wicked  leads  them  astray"   (Proverbs  12:26).    

4.  Great  friends  give  you  their  ____________________.   protection

         A  Biblical  friend  holds  you  up  when  you  stumble  by  protecting  you.  Jonathan  gave  his  friend   assurance:  “Do  not  fear,  for  the  hand  of  Saul  my  father  shall  n ot  find  you”  ( verse  17).            When  David  heard  those  words  of  support,  he  gained  strength.  There  is  nothing  worse  than  a  so-­‐ called  friend  who  comes  along  when  you  are  in  crisis  and  says,  “Hey,  I  can  see  why  you’re  upset.  Yeah,   she  drives  me  c razy,  too!”  Or,  “You  have  every  right  to  feel  that  way.”  When  our  heart  is  a  tornado,   the  last  thing  we  need  is  for  somebody  to  show  up  with  a  fan.  That’s  not  friendship.  Biblical  friendship   provides  words  that  protect  and  support  our  troubled  emotional  state  during  hardship.            In  c hapters  18-­‐20,  you  find  that  six  different  times  Saul  tried  to  kill  David  until  David  was  finally   forced  to  become  a  fugitive  on  the  run.  In  fact,  Jonathan  saves  David’s  life  by  informing  him  that  Saul   intended  to  kill  him.  In  a  secret  meeting,  they  had  an  incredibly  moving  departure  scene,  because  they   both  knew  they  may  not  ever  see  each  other  again  (read  1  Samuel  20:41-­‐42).        

personal loyalty 5.  Great  friends  give  you  their  ___________   ____________.  

         A  Biblical  friend  holds  you  up  when  you  stumble  by  confirming  their  personal  loyalty.  Jonathan  said,   “You  shall  be  king  over  Israel,  and  I  shall  b e  next  to  you”  ( verse  17).  As  if  to  say,  “Hey  Dave,  let  me  paint   a  picture  of  our  future.  I  already  figured  it  out:  you’re  going  to  be  king—not  me!  And  don’t  even  worry   about  whether  that’s  going  to  sever  our  relationship.  I’m  fine  with  being  number  two  as  long  as  you’re   number  one.”  No  wonder  David  loved  him.                “Then  Jonathan  made  a  covenant  with  David  b ecause  h e  loved  him  as  himself.  Jonathan  stripped   himself  o f  the  robe  that  was  on  h im  and  gave  it  to  David,  with  his  armor,  including  his  sword  and  his   bow  and  his  belt”  (1  Samuel  18:3-­‐4).            What  did  Jonathan  give  David  that  symbolized  his  loyalty?     royalty • His  robe  symbolized  his  _________________.   It  was  a  symbol  of  both  his  status  as  prince   and  his  future  role  as  king.     authority • His  armor  symbolized  his  ____________________.   His  armor  was  a  picture  of  his  role  as   commander-­‐in-­‐chief  over  all  the  armies.     wealth • His  belt  symbolized  his  ____________________.   The  belt  was  the  chief  ornament  of  a   soldier  worn  only  by  the  wealthy  and  by  royalty,  which  represented  all  that  he  could  have   had  as  king,  but  he  was  giving  up  for  David.              In  the  Good  News  Translation  of  the  Bible,  Proverbs  18:24  says,  “Some  friendships  do  not  last,  but   some  friends  are  more  loyal  than  brothers.”    

6.  Great  friends  give  you  their  ____________________.   promise            A  Biblical  friend  holds  you  up  when  you  stumble  by  confirming  the  friendship  with  a  promise.  “Then   Jonathan  made  a  covenant  with  David…”  (1  Samuel  18:3).  This  is  a  picture  of  two  men  saying,  “Let’s   stand  together  in  this.  Let’s  make  a  commitment  to  each  other  that  together  we’re  going  to  be  the   men  that  God  wants  us  to  be.”              You  might  be  thinking:  “I  wish  I  had  a  Jonathan  in  my  life.”  You  can  have  a  Jonathan  in  your  life  if   you  will  be  a  Jonathan  in  someone  else’s  life.  Proverbs 18:24,  “A  man  who  has  friends  must  himself  be   friendly.”  Ask  yourself:  If  you  were  another  person,  would  y ou  like  to  be  a  friend  of  yours?  In  the  next   30  days,  find  someone  that  you  can  be  a  Jonathan  to.