can backfire! I often tell children that cooperation means: âOne task, many hands.â It's the strength, brain power a
JUNE 2016
DEAR DR. ROBYN
COOPERATION Young students: Let’s work together! Older students/teens/adults: Working together towards a common goal.
Dear Dr. Robyn, My children are highly competitive. I find this okay in some settings but frustrating in others when working together would be better for everyone...including them! Can you give me some strategies to help my kids work together with others better? Dear Erin, Yes! You are not alone in this frustration. Life can seem highly competitive today and children receive message after message that underscores an “every man for himself” attitude-- be better, get there faster...win! Of course, when working together is the plan to achieve our goals, these messages can backfire! I often tell children that cooperation means: “One task, many hands.” It’s the strength, brain power and passion of the group that leads to success. In that spirit, let’s discuss some strategies that can help encourage more cooperation: (1) Define success: Whether you are speaking about your family in general or a specific task, what is the end result that would scream “success?” For example; perhaps success IS working together towards a common goal. If you
-- Erin F, Newport Beach, CA state this outright before the task is done, everyone will be more apt to work together as they know you will be looking for collaboration as a sign of success! (2) Highlight cooperation: When you see one of your children cooperating with someone else by turn-taking, problem-solving together, sharing, helping, listening or compromising, praise it openly. Say; “I really like seeing how you are problem-solving together to figure out how to put up that tent. Cooperation gets the job done better and quicker than if we work apart. I believe in all of your strong minds!” (3) Talk about your own lessons: When did YOU learn that cooperation could be an effective way of solving a problem or getting a task done? Share it! When did you and your siblings or friends need to work together in order to get a great reward? What did you realize about cooperation?
