Dec 1, 2015 - C/O KESEF ACCOUNTING SERVICES. P.O. BOX 159. MONTVALE, NJ 07645-0159. It would be most appreciated and hel
SEPTEMBER 2011 DECEMBER 2015 AV / ELUL KISLEV / TEVET 5776
building self. building community. together.
44 West 66th Street / New York, NY 10023 ph 212-787-5347 / fax 212-595-3542 103 West End Ave / New York, NY 10023 www.habonim.net ph 212-787-5347 / fax 212-595-3542
www.habonim.net
Jes suis Israel by Rabbi Joshua Katzan
Win-Win: Be Better, Be Happier UPCOMING EVENTS
Congregation Habonim joins the international UPCOMING EVENTS
chorus of prayer for continued healing Erev Sukkoth dedicated to the people of France, and particularly Wednesday, October 12, 6.30 to pmthe people of Paris. And as of this writing, there continues Services followed by Adult Dinner in the Sukkah to be a near regular occurrence of murderous terror attacks Habonim to Philadelphia! in Israel as Goes well. There are no satisfying answers to the questions that eruptMuseum in our heart, but first our Jewish sympathyHistory and compassion go National of American out to the afflicted. 18In light of the growing concern for safety, Sunday, September Still timebetoassured registerthat with Adina Rifkin please Habonim continues to maintain responsible Tel: 212-787 5347 ext 100in our building at all times. security for our community
by Rabbi Joshua Katzan
PARSHA STUDY WITH THE RABBI
Tuesdays, December 8,15, 22, 29 - 10:00 - 11:00 am Once1,again, they’re coming. Rosh Hashanah/Yom Kippur, the “High Holidays” FAMILY KABBALAT SHABBAT to be apm loaded experience. For some, it Friday, December tend 11, 6:00 followed by CHANUKAH FAMILY DINNERis a joyous time to celebrate with family and community. For others it is a conflicted time
BEIT MIDRASH as after SHABBAT KIDDUSH LUNCH this is when we once again ask ourselves
December 5 – Rabbi Rosalie Osian & Nurse Practitioner the “big questions” ofand life. inThe High Holidays Joann Nayer Grutza: In Sickness Health: Dignity are a period where we do well to focus on the and Choices in Ilness. question what it means to become a better December 12 - Rabbi Tzviof Graetz, Executive Director
[email protected] person. Olami Masorti Olami & Mercaz As Americans, as New Yorkers, and as Jews, we know something December 19 – Rabbi Rosalie Osian The ten days of Repentance between Rosh of the darkness France Kiddush in the Parkis now going through. In the wake of terror, SUNDAY MORNING MINYAN Hashanah and Yom Kippur, the Yamim we are leftSeptember with shock, 24, horror, anger, services an immediate desire to strike Saturday, following December 6 & 20, 9:30 am back, and an instinct to secure ourselves. We can feel as if threat Nora’im, is the traditional period where we act on our self-assessments and Congregation Habonim Gala suddenly looms around everyFall corner, and anxiety descends upon try to repair the damageCLASS we’ve caused other people. MIDRASH with to Rabbi Katzan We confess and Celebrating us and the Children's community Education like the fallatofHabonim night. We can feel take as ifresponsibility for what we’ve done directlymorning to the person we’ve wronged, December 6, 11:00 am (after Minyan) Thursday, everything isNovember falling apart,17, and2011 this is the goal and definition giveofback what we’ve taken, try to change the disposition within ourselves WOMEN’S ROSH CHODESH GROUP 6:30 terror.- 9:00 The PM question is how do we respond to terror? How thatdomay have led to our wrongful actions in the first place, and overall try to Tuesday, December 14, 7:00 pm (off-site) For Please Contact we More combatInformation its thick darkness? make amends. It’s a nice thing to focus on once a year: becoming a better Jonill Mayer at 212.244.4880 HABONIM GALA person byANNUAL fixing our mistakes. the wake of last year’s attack on the Charlie Hebdo satirical
[email protected] Saturday, December 12, 7:00 pm newspaper in Paris, the world responded in solidarity with “JesHowever, suis atwhereas we benefitRodef greatly Shalom from taking responsibility and trying to Congregation SAVE THE DATE Charlie,” “I am Charlie.” The Western world responded decisively fix what we’ve broken, this is a reactive or “after the fact” response to our CHANUKAH FUN April 27 -29, 2012 and took the side that represented the pillar of liberal valuesmistakes. and FAMILY It is what the rabbinic literature callsDAY b’dei avad, or an ex posteriori Sunday, December 13, 2:00 - 4:00 pm First Ever Habonim freedom: Free Speech. Shabbaton We were, and Retreat! remain, Charlie. But when response to our bad behavior.
the attack is generally upon a whole nation, as we witnessed SISTERHOOD A different question we should ask ourselves at this time is: how can we recentlySISTERHOOD in Paris, and not specifically against a symbolic value, then HAPPENINGS CANDLE MAKING for Chanukah proactively strategize crafting ourselves into becoming a better person along how ought we/they to respond? Jes suis Israel. We are Israel. with the School before making mistakes? Fixing the way “before the Nursery fact,” mi lechat’chilah, Membership Networking Pizzawith Party Israel has figured out how to contend the trauma of terrorour withmistakes Wednesday, after the factDecember is necessary,2but not sufficient to living a life well Monday, September the following attributes:19, 7:00 pm at Habonim lived. How do we build BOOK CLUB ourselves into being that “better person” we ($9.00 for non-members)
generally hope ourselves to become?10, 7:00 pm • Above all, we are one people. We may disagree about a Thursday, December
things, butpending we are committed to beingBig onequestion, While Russ Feingold andAmerica here’s one Sleeps response by for the coming year 5772: To craft a October great Bookmany Club – date people, one country. The Invisible Wallone by community, Harry Bernstein good lifeVOLUNTEER is to have a conscious approach to living. One method of at WEST SIDE CAMPAIGN
building ourselves into better people where everyone wins is to Be Happy. • Being “one people” is given strength and meaning when AGAINST HUNGER Sisterhood in the Sukkah Friday, December 18, 9:30 am – 12Of noon there is a16mission, or am purpose for which this people has a sound and feel like an underwhelming It may insight. course happiness is Sunday, October at 11:30 reason fight.SideInCampaign Israel’s case, it is to rebuildgood! the But on a moment’s reflection, we may be surprised at how little we Speaker from thetoWest Against Contact Sisterhood for information about programs think about intentionally working on our happiness in productive ways. Hunger homeland, and realize a vision of meaningful Jewish and events expression. Small charge for a light brunch The radio talk show personality and commentator QUEENS Dennis Prager wrote an • Take seriously the fact that there are enemies out there interesting book that is worth a read, Happiness is a Serious Problem. Speaker-Nutritionist/Member Reyna ADULT EDUCATION who mean us harm. Realizing this activates responsible Although it is not supported as much by studies, data, and statistics (frankly, Franco Wednesday, December 16, 8:15 pm and necessary security measures without apology. the book’s biggest weakness), his common sense proposals and Tuesday, November 8 at 7:30 pm at Habonim HABONIM HAPPENINGS conclusions are worth thinking about and acting upon. One of his • The best response to our enemies is to live life with even Check outhappy the calendar at our website www.habonim.net or conclusions: Being is a moral obligation. more gusto, even more passion and humanity, and to call Adina Rifkin at 212-787-5347 ext 100 SEPTEMBER 2011 (continued on p 4) stick to doing our best to live the values that make up our identity.
(continued on p. 3) DECEMBER 2015
1
CONGREGATION HABONIM email:
[email protected] / www.habonim.net Rabbi Joshua Katzan * ext 109 Cantor Bruce Halev * ext 107 Richard Kargauer * ext 101 EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
Fran Pearlman
ext 105
Rebecca Oliveri
ext 104
DIRECTOR OF LIFELONG LEARNING RELIGIOUS SCHOOL COORDINATOR
Hannah Herman
YOUTH COORDINATOR
Tina Lobel
ext 108
Ann Obsatz
ext 123
OFFICE STAFF Kenny Altman Louise Rode Roy Ramsey Adina Rifkin
ext 103 ext 102 ext 106 ext 100
MAINTENANCE STAFF Matvey Khazanov ext 122 Jesus Gutierrez ext 122
CONDOLENCES
NURSERY SCHOOL DIRECTOR
To Robert and Ellie Schaffer on the passing of Robert’s mother, Hilda Schaffer z”l.
ASSOCIATE NURSERY SCHOOL DIR
To David Feuerstein and Laurie Mendik on the passing of David’s father, Elias Feuerstein z”l.
BOARD OF TRUSTEES OFFICERS Neil Goldstein
Jennifer Kenter Lewis Krulwich Paul Millman Jeffrey Moelis Ruth Murphy Robert Sherman Adele Solomon Howard Stoffer Joanne Tuckman Richard Unis Richard Verner
PRESIDENT
Stephen Berman TREASURER Susan Grant SECRETARY
Michael Harwayne VICE PRESIDENT TRUSTEES
David Feuerstein Wendy Halperin Amy Kargauer PAST PRESIDENTS Elaine Witkoff * Saul Sanders * Leo Asen John Keller * Carol Kahn Strauss Ralph Stein, MD z”l * indicates ex officio board member
To Peter Sanders, Ida Messana and Johanna Sanders on the passing of Helga Sanders z"l.
TEMPLE SERVICES
HONORARY TRUSTEES Arthur Falkenstein z”l Herman Lichtenberg z”l Peter Mayer z”l Marga Walter
Nita Gottesman EDITOR DEPARTMENTS & THEIR EXTENSIONS Adult Education 100 Bookkeeping 102 Bulletin 100 Cemetery 100 Kiddush Sponsorship 100 Life Cycle Events 100 Maintenance 122
Membership Nursery School/Admissions Religious School/Youth & Family Programming Service Times & Location Space Rental
100 106 105 100 100
CONGREGATION HABONIM is a member of United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism Please inform the Habonim office of all Life Cycle events in your family: births, deaths, anniversaries, awards, promotions and any other joyous occasion. Contact Adina Rifkin at ext 100 or
[email protected]
DECEMBER 2015
Yahrzeit / Memorial Plaques Plaques are displayed outside the Sanctuary Tree of Life Leaves Commemorate special occasions or honor someone special with a leaf displayed on our entrance wall Prayer Books Book plate dedications for all occasions Facilities Rental Available for private parties Kiddush Sponsorships Sponsor an Oneg Shabbat Cemetery Plots Plots are available at Cedar Park Cemetery Paramus, NJ in the Habonim section For more information contact Adina Rifkin at
[email protected] or call 212-787-5347 Ext.100
Please send all donations and/or payments to: CONGREGATION HABONIM C/O KESEF ACCOUNTING SERVICES P.O. BOX 159 MONTVALE, NJ 07645-0159 It would be most appreciated and helpful.
Deadline for submission of articles, photos and ads for the January Bulletin is December 15th. Please email to
[email protected]
2
Rabbi Katzan (continued from p. 1)
• Finally, to always hope that our enemies of today might
one day become partners for peace. This hope prevents despair, and makes possible the effort to make every attempt to establish peace with our enemies. We may still be waiting, but it is nevertheless what energizes a society to flourish despite the pressures of terror. Hope helps us move forward.
It's Not Too Late! The deadline to purchase tickets and Journal ads for our Weekend of Celebration has been extended to December 3. Please join us as we commemorate Chanukah and the rededication of our newly built-out space on West End Avenue where we continue to bring light into this world while we await the rebuilding of our permanent home back on 66th Street. Purchase tickets online at https:// goo.gl/KKbGRJ or contact Adina Rifkin at 212-787-5347 x.100 or
[email protected].
Saturday, December 12, 7:30 – 11:30 pm “Light Up The Night Gala” Please join us for an exciting evening of dining, cocktails and dancing, as we salute our esteemed honorees who epitomize volunteerism at its highest level: Amy and Richie Kargauer Jill and Marc Mehl Elaine and Robert Witkoff
Sunday, December 13, 2:00 – 4:00 pm, “Chanukah Family Fun Day” A fun-filled afternoon of latkes, lights, learning and laughter! Family-size photo booth with fun props, and a Chanukah show presented by Dreamcoat Experience.
When terror strikes, it seems easier to shout than to speak, easier to quake with indignation than sit with the bereaved. Personally, I loathe giving terror and these terrorists any victory whatsoever. As I learned while living in Israel during horrific periods of terror, the best response is to deny it any victory over the human spirit. I was thrilled to see photographs of Parisians standing up to the terrorists by immediately returning to the cafes and restaurants and celebrating life. This is what I learned from Israel: living life with quality repudiates the intent and desire of terrorists. France has become, at least for the moment, Israel. But there is a natural response to terror that undermines the human spirit: the impulse to react with fear-driven anger. Fear-driven anger can cause our ideals and moral vision to dim, and we can drift into thinking and acting in ways that are opposed to our otherwise strongly held loftier convictions. There is no question that security is now a most sensitive issue, but fear-driven anger can lead to feelings and choices that dehumanize others, particularly whole groups, such as, in this case, the Muslim community. This is not to say that there is not a serious conversation to be had about extremist Islam and the risks embedded in the current wave of refugees seeking safety after fleeing the horrors at home. This is most certainly a conversation worth having. But the concern is that if we let fear drive our thinking and responses, then the terrorists succeed in their intent to damage our spirit and poison our humanity. We cannot pretend there is no threat. But can we really throw our values out the window? It takes emotional effort to achieve balance. The more we manage fear, the better our best values and principles can be represented in the necessary choices our country and communities will be making in the months ahead. Our ability to bring light into the world is the antidote to what the terrorists try to do. And this is the meaning of Chanukah. The darkness in the era of King Antiochus was in how he and his Helenist society sought to destroy the Jewish spirit by outlawing learning of our Torah, and the physical sign of our covenant with God, the practice of circumcision. The radical efforts of the Maccabees is a symbol of how we rekindle hope for our future: stubborn adherence to our most basic and best values and ideals. They were committed to their mission to bringing their vision of authentic Judaism back into a cleansed Temple. We should be as stubborn in our determination to live in the light of our Jewish tradition and values as best we can despite what our fears might inspire. The Talmud tells us that Chanukah was the rededication of the Temple with a sole flask of pure oil to kindle the Temple Menorah after the idolatry was removed. The miracle was that the light lasted eight days rather than one. This is symbolic of
DECEMBER 2015
(continued on p. 5) 3
The first few months of Religious school and Adult Education have been full of special programs and lots of learning. We began our year for the older students with a visit from the Bible Players performing an interactive session on what we learn from the beginning of the book of Genesis. This week our younger students have learned and shared in Israeli dancing as an aspect of Israeli culture, with all of the instructions in Hebrew. It is very rewarding to watch them as they become increasingly successful at following the instructions in Hebrew as the session progressed. Our older students have had the opportunity to meet with both the Rabbi & Cantor as they are beginning their journey towards Bar/ Bat Mitzvah. Learning trope and exploring the meaning of becoming responsible Jewish adults were two of the main topics. In October our students from grades 2 thru 5 participated in a Tzedakah Fair at which they learned about different communal agencies such as Habitat for Humanity, JNF, Dorot and City Harvest. After learning they moved to doing in demonstrating
DECEMBER 2015
how they wish to allocate their annual tzedakah collections. We are looking forward to a second visit from the Bible Players to experience Chanukah and a visit from Rabbi Fried as he brings his olive press to the school. Learning is not just for children but for adults as well. Our well- rounded program of learning after Shabbat at the Beit Midrash to and evening of American Song by Jewish composers, to courses on Midrash and Maimonedes. Our program continues in January with a film series entitled ‘Lens on Israel’, a society through its media facilitated by Dr. Eric Goldman. An intimate insight into Israel’s birth, growth and development as a country is provided by Israeli movies. These events are planned in conjunction with the Adult Education Committee. Fran Pearlman
Director of Lifelong Learning
4
As the end of 2015 draws to a close, we have so much to appreciate and celebrate. We have begun our new Nursery School Class Family Shabbat Dinners. To date, PreKindergarten (Red Room ) families joined together to celebrate Shabbat in the Social Hall. Rabbi Josh and Cantor Bruce, alongside classroom teachers and many family members gathered together to share this meaningful experience. Our Early Explorers Program has gotten off to a wonderful start with our littlest members socializing and making new friends. From playing in the social hall, enjoying Movement exercises, listening to stories, to block building, it is a treat to see the children learning, engaging and growing through all these fun and age-appropriate experiences at Habonim, designed to facilitate their smooth transition to Nursery School. Admissions tours of Habonim for prospective families are well underway. Our lively, colorful, brightly-lit and decorated classrooms create a welcoming environment for our interested parents who delight in seeing our children at play and imagining their own in such a sweet setting. It is a pleasure meeting them and sharing information about our philosophy, warmth and enriching programming. We look forward to continuing the process with these lovely families and wish all of them a happy result and a good fit, hopefully here at Habonim. With the approach of the Festival of Lights, we have planned joyful Hanukkah celebrations in all our classrooms. Teachers and children will be joined by parents, Rabbi Josh and Cantor Bruce, to light the hanukkiah that our children will have made and enjoy delicious latkes and sufganiyot. It promises to be both a meaningful and yummy time for all. In what has become an anticipated annual tradition, members of Sisterhood will visit to work with the children to make Hanukkah candles. It will be such a treat to see the children working alongside our fantastic Sisterhood volunteers. Many thanks to Sisterhood President, Amy Kargauer, who initiated this program and deepened the connection of our children with the greater community of Habonim.
We are blessed to have volunteers whose efforts have immeasurably enhanced our Nursery School. This year, Jill and Marc Mehl, are amongst this year's honorees at our upcoming Gala to be held on December 12th. With their two children graduated from the Nursery School, and continuing their Jewish learning in the Hebrew School, the Mehls continue to dedicate themselves to enriching the Nursery School. As Nursery School parents, Jill and Marc have helped with organizing our fundraising events, supporting our admissions tours, welcoming new families to many Friday evening Tot Shabbats, reaching out to families to form connections, and much more. They have organized “Mom’s Night Out” and “Dad’s Night Out.” Today, Marc is a Nursery School Co-Chair and Jill is a vital member of the Nursery School Committee. We are forever grateful to the Mehls for their contributions to the Nursery School. And congratulations and gratitude to the other honorees, Amy and Richie Kargauer, and Elaine and Robert Witkoff, whose dedication and contributions to Habonim and the Nursery School have been manifold. We also look forward to our Chanukah Family Fun Day the following day on Sunday, December 13th, from 2:00 to 4:00 PM, with lots of great activities for the whole family, including crafts, music, lighting the hanukkiah, lots of latkes and jelly doughnuts, a family-size photo booth and a special show by the Dreamcoat Experience, a professional group that will provide an enriching interactive Hanukkah program. We look forward to sharing this "Weekend of Celebration" with everyone!! Wishing you a happy and healthy new year filled with love and lovely times shared with family, friends and our Habonim community. Warmly, Tina Lobel Nursery School Director
Rabbi Katzan (continued from p. 3)
what happens when we are stubbornly unified in our conviction that hope for the future will fill the world with light and beat back the darkness for exponentially longer than the amount of oil would suggest. Shortly, we will be celebrating Thanksgiving and preparing for Chanukah. Let us take a little extra time in contemplating our own hearts, minds, and feelings as we assess the damage these recent events have inflicted. Then let’s focus our attention on how much we might succeed in negating their impact on us and on our society by resisting the draw of fear and anger, and turn toward our values and hope. A little light pushes much darkness away. DECEMBER 2015
The discourse over how we manage the influx of refugees has begun. Can we be humane in our discussion? Can we disagree and still look for the moral elements of opposing views? Can we balance the fear we have of terror against the terrorized fear so many of the refugees are coming to us with? The situations may not be precisely the same, but can we see ourselves in these refugees coming to our shores? Stubbornly maintaining our humanity and our capacity for moral clarity and compassion is what negates the intent of our enemies to diminish us. We are one, we have enemies, but we also have values and a moral tradition. The more we keep this in mind, perhaps the more successful we will be in building
bridges and deepening relationships amongst ourselves. Rather than a darker world, it will be filled with abundant light. May we offer the people of France and Israel our prayers of healing and consolation to the afflicted and the bereaved, and Godspeed to the authorities and governments determined to protect their peace-loving people. And in their honor, may we all have a meaningful and sweeter celebration of Thanksgiving, expressing gratitude not only for our family and friendships, but for our values, our tradition and our freedom. I look forward to bringing more light into the world with all of you at one of our Chanukah celebrations and at our Gala on December 12. 5
Brad Zimmerman shares a laugh with an appreciative audience
Moody McCarthy opens the Comedy Night
Habonim members enjoying Comedy Night
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LAUGHING OUT LOUD On Saturday evening, October 17th, Habonim held its first Comedy Night, including international cuisine, (we're talking sushi, teriyaki salmon, beef and chicken kebabs), and featuring two seasoned comedians: Brad Zimmerman and Moody McCarthy. Brad is presently appearing in "My Son the Waiter, A Jewish Tragedy" at Stage 72 at the Triad Theater on West 72nd Street. It is a part drama, part stand-up comedy show about his long journey to reaching his dream of being an actor, recounting in part his 29 years in a "temporary job" as a waiter. He has opened for such legends as George Carlin and Joan Rivers who has said, "I've had three great opening acts in my lifetime: Billy Crystal, Garry Shandling, and Brad Zimmerman." Pretty esteemed company! Brad has also appeared in film and on TV, most notably as Johnny Sacks' attorney on "The Sopranos." His show at the Triad continues through New Years' Eve. He is also currently working on his next show, "My Rise to the Middle," with a premier performance held on October 27th at the Leonard Nimoy Thalia at Symphony Space. This one-man show filled with Brad's unique introspective perspective on his life thus far, also provides a charming mixture of comedy, pathos and life lessons.
VOLUNTEER WITH SISTERHOOD: Friday, December 18, 9:30am-noon, please volunteer to help at the West Side Campaign Against Hunger. We will help in the food pantry, stocking foods onto their shelves. NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY. Let's help our neighbors. WSCAH is located in the basement of the Church of St. Paul and St. Andrew, 263 W 86th st., near West End Avenue. Enter down the stairs from the sidewalk on 86th St. Wednesday, December 2, 9-10am, please volunteer to help Sisterhood members assist Habonim's nursery school Red Room make Chanukah candles. This is the third year that Sisterhood has worked with the children making the candles, and it is a joyful event. If you can volunteer, please RSVP to
[email protected] or call Vicki Brown 212 247 5753.
READ WITH SISTERHOOD:
Opening for Brad at Habonim was Moody McCarthy who has appeared on "The David Letterman Show", "Jimmy Kimmel Live", "America's Got Talent", "Last Comic Standing" and "Star Search." HIs rapport with our audience was cemented when he was asked if he liked "gelfilte fish" to which he replied, "I've seen it."
December 10, While America Sleeps by Russ Feingold February 2, My Father's Paradise: a Son's Search for His Jewish Past in Kurdish Iraq by Yona Sabar
Both comedians rocked! Their relatable, self-deprecating and disarming performances that night were greeted with raucous laughter, including guffaws, snorts, howls and thigh-slapping. We were exhausted by the time dessert was served. In response to a follow-up thank you note, Moody graciously replied, "That was honestly one of the best crowds I've ever had in my 23 years of doing this."
DAVEN WITH SISTERHOOD: Sisterhood Shabbat this year is on June 4th. Please become a member of Sisterhood and then volunteer to be a part of the experience!
Thank you Habonim for being such a welcoming and appreciative audience, generous with your laughter and hospitality. Elaine Witkoff & Renee Edelman, CoChairs
Brad Zimmerman delights Habonim crowd on Comedy Night, Saturday evening, Oct. 17
DECEMBER 2015
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How I Became a Shabbat Regular, Much to My Own Surprise! by Amy Kargauer Point A: secular Jew in the Italian section of the northeast Bronx > Point B: Conservative shul-goer in Manhattan every Shabbat. WHAT?!?! Being Jewish was almost an aside when I was a kid. Yes, I had my paternal grandparents, who were Orthodox, and I occasionally went for Friday night dinner when my grandmother would save me the “pipick” of the chicken. She taught me how she made her wonderful potato latkes, but they weren’t reserved only for Chanukah. And she made delicious hamantaschen, & I knew that that’s what those cookies were called, but I had zero concept of Purim. Passover seders at my grandparents’ could be raucous affairs with me & my cousins, but we generally ran afoul of my grandfather’s very strict rules, and the whole thing was in a language we didn’t understand, anyway! On my mother’s side, my grandmother was active as a volunteer for Deborah, and my cousins on that side were brought up in suburban NJ, bar mitzvahed in a Conservative synagogue, and those were the only Shabbat services I ever attended as I grew up. My mother had been confirmed in a Reform synagogue in the 1930’s, but my brothers and I were given no formal Jewish education. My father didn’t “believe in organized religion.” We knew we were Jewish by the relationships in the family, and because the one time I ever asked my
parents if I could go Christmas caroling with a couple of my neighborhood friends, my mother said absolutely not (which at the time I really resented & did not understand at all). But there was no candle-lighting in our home, there was no change in our food on Passover, etc. I met a girl (who is still a good friend) in Girl Scout camp (no Surprise Lake for me!) when I was about 12 or 13, who asked me if I’d like to go with her on Sundays downtown to the 92nd St. Y. When I asked my parents, my mother enthusiastically assented. And there, I think, was where it began to dawn on me that there was more to being Jewish than Grandma Lena’s latkes! When I started dating in my mid-teens, I was not restricted to going out with only Jewish boys. But somehow, I wound up marrying a “nice Jewish boy” from the more Jewish section of the Bronx, Pelham Parkway. And then my Jewish education began for real. Richie was home on leave from Basic Training when we had a meeting with the Rabbi who was going to marry us. When he asked me when I was going to the mikveh, I honestly told him that I was not, and I did not intend to keep a kosher home. A different Rabbi showed up to perform our marriage ceremony, which we believe was not a coincidence. We joined a Conservative shul when we had children. It was a given that they’d get a religious education (by that time, I realized there was something I’d missed, though I still didn’t “believe”), and I thought if I was going to be supportive of my kids, I’d better learn something myself. When our son was in Kindergarten, our Rabbi ran a class: Learn to read Hebrew in 4 days - so I shlepped my 3-year-old daughter to class for 4 mornings. I still read Hebrew
like a kindergartener, and I only have a few sight words that I can read without the vowel markings, but I did learn! Raising a family in the suburbs, one Friday night a month was our shul experience, in addition to Rosh Hashanah & Yom Kippur, and I gradually became comfortable with the erev Shabbat liturgy. Even after the kids flew the coop, Richie & I continued to go to shul almost every Friday night. It was a place to see our friends, participate in the service amid conversation, and then schmooze over fruit & cookies, tea or coffee, while the Rabbi & a few others had a “l’chaim” in the kitchen. Services at 8, out by 9:30, and have a good weekend. Done. Fast forward to moving to Manhattan. Found Habonim (a story for another time). But Friday night services were at 6:30, and we were still commuting to NJ & Rockland County; IF we got home on time, we were too tired & hungry to attend. Richie began to go on Saturday mornings, but I said I got up early all week, so I’d go only occasionally. One day, Richie came home & told me he’d been given an aliyah (oh, smart Stanley!), and I felt guilty that I’d missed his first aliyah in our new shul. I decided it wouldn’t kill me to go on Saturday mornings more often, & by then I’d met some women at Rosh Chodesh and Sisterhood, so I went, again more to schmooze than to participate. One thing led to another, and here I am now - one of our “Shabbat Regulars!” Nobody who knew me 20 or more years ago would recognize me today, and our long-term friends are amazed at the transformation from “Let Richie go to shul on Rosh Hashanah, it’s not for me,” to “I’d like to learn a Torah portion!” As they used to say, “Who’d a thunk it!”
CANDLE LIGHTING Friday, December 4 4:10pm Friday, December 11 4:10pm Friday, December 18 4:12pm Friday, December 25 4:16pm Chanukah Light Candles from Sunday, December 6 thru Sunday, December 13
DECEMBER 2015
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10)
Soul Seekers (ages 6 -
9:30am to 12:00pm
Shabbat Morning Service
Sat
Lighting with Rabbi
15
10:00am to 11:00am
14
3
10 Tz'irim (teens) - Dinner
Midrash Class with Rabbi
9
and Chanukah Candle
8
Katzan
10:00am to 11:00am
9:30am to 11:30am
7
6
Thu
6:30pm to 7:30pm
2 Kabbalat Shabbat Service
Wed
Katzan
1 Parsha Study with Rabbi
Tue
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Date and Time - start date (field_date_and_time)
Parsha Study with Rabbi
30
Mon 29
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