Overcome loneliness: Loneliness will creep up from time to time even when you ... alone; knowing how to deal with this l
Healing Journey Milestones The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Lao Tzu INITIAL HEALING MILESTONES The healing journey can seem long when you’re not sure what milestones to reach for (and master) and what it would mean or feel like to be healed. It’s different for everyone but here’s a rough guide: 1. Safely leave the relationship: The first step is to end and leave the relationship. You may need to create a bulletproof Safety Plan to prevent yourself from continuing to be abused, damaged or hurt. 2. Find a place to live: Focus on ensuring your ongoing safety and survival. Go back to basics – you need food, shelter, sleep and warmth. Spend time in places where you feel safe with good security. 3. Implementing No Contact/Gray Rock: The best way to keep safe is to go completely off the radar, including to mutual friends. Implement these strategies as quickly and thoroughly as you can. 4. Overcome your fear of abandonment: Get used to the idea of being on your own as much as you can and get comfortable without depending on a partner – the best way to do it is to be alone. 5. Let go of judgement: Once you’re out, release the fear of judgement and other people’s opinions so they don’t stunt or impact your healing growth. This will protect you from nasty smear campaigns. 6. Develop trigger awareness: Identify your triggers, limit triggers as much as is in your control and use strategies to quickly manage anything outside your control that could set you back. Plan for it! 7. Break the addiction: Some people want to go back – it’s normal but not advisable. Break the addiction – just like any addict, the best way is through limited exposure and self-soothing strategies. 8. Manage overwhelming emotions: These relationships stir up a lot of emotions that can be overwhelming. Self-care strategies can move you through these difficult emotions and aid healing. 9. Declutter to detox: Let go with a full declutter of your living spaces – anything with memories or negative energy from that relationship needs to move out of your space. Store or chuck: it’s up to you! 10. Release the toxic sting: The toxic sting may linger long after the relationship: overthinking, being obsessive, judging and treating others like your ex treated you. Be kind to yourself; it’ll fade out soon. 11. Overcome loneliness: Loneliness will creep up from time to time even when you accept being alone; knowing how to deal with this loneliness as it creeps up, and keeping yourself calm, is power. 12. Get through the grief: Pay attention as you move through each grieving process (denial/loss, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) – give yourself permission to experience each to the full. 13. Rebuild your Self: Work with a therapist or life coach to rebuild your sense of self, and really aim to restore your confidence, self-believe and self-esteem back to a healthy level. 14. Earn your self-trust: Spend time realigning with your values and beliefs and earning your selftrust back as quickly as you can, so that you can form a solid foundation for your next relationship.
