Hope for Those Who Grieve

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Hope for Those Who Grieve


Brandon: I readjusted this layout to better fit the formatting needed when I print. If you will just keep all your text within the blue margin lines on this page, I shouldn’t have any more issues ☺. Thanks! Dr. Brandon Park | April 17, 2016

The most difficult experience for a person to go through in this life is the loss of a loved one. Grief The most difficult experience for a person to go through in this life is the loss of a loved one. Grief that is not dealt with properly can cause us to lose our perspective on life. Groping through grief is an that is not dealt with properly can cause us to lose our perspective on life. Groping through grief is an emotional, physical and spiritual effort. Faith gives us the power to pass through grief, not avoid it. emotional, physical and spiritual effort. Faith gives us the power to pass through grief, not avoid it. Grief is the price you pay for __________________ someone. Zig Ziglar said, “If there were no Grief is the price you pay for __________________ someone. Zig Ziglar said, “If there were no love, there’d be no grief.” When you love deeply, you hurt deeply. love, there’d be no grief.” When you love deeply, you hurt deeply. When you are grieving, God offers you three things: When you are grieving, God offers you three things:

1. God offers you the _______________ of Jesus: Grief makes you ____________ _______________ of Jesus: Grief makes you feel as though God has failed you, but He hasn’t. feel as though God has failed you, but He hasn’t.

Grief is one of the most bitter experiences of life. When grief comes, it often seems as if God is Grief is one of the most bitter experiences of life. When grief comes, it often seems as if God is nowhere to be found. It can cloud your vision and keep you from seeing the comfort and hope that is available for you. Dr. Paul David Tripp said, “Grief blocks my ability to see God, but I shouldn’t conclude that He is absent.” John 11:1-8, “Now a certain man was ill, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. It was Mary who anointed the Lord with ointment and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was ill. So the sisters sent to him, saying, ‘Lord, he whom you love is ill.’ But when Jesus heard it he said, ‘This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.’ Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was. Then after this he said to the disciples, ‘Let us go to Judea again.’ The disciples said to him, ‘Rabbi, the Jews were just now seeking to stone you, and are you going there again?’” All during this time while Lazarus was sick, Mary and Martha were wiping his brow and saying, “Don’t worry... we sent for Jesus. He’s going to be here soon!” But Lazarus died. They wrapped his body in linens and placed him in a tomb…and still no sign of Jesus. Isn’t that how we feel sometimes? The Common Experiences of Grief 1. __________________ and ____________________. At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place. The brain’s first response is to say, “No, this must be some mistake.” Corrie Ten Boom says, “How do I manage a difficulty? Well, at first I try to walk past it. If that does not help, I try to climb over it; and when I cannot climb over it, to crawl underneath. And when that is not possible, I go straight through – God and me.” 2. Paralysis or _________________________. Grief feels like an immobilizer… it’s really hard to figure out what to do next because it affects your cognitive ability. People have a frozen feeling inside. Some people have described this stage as feeling far away from God. C. S. Lewis said, "No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear.” 3. Intense _______________________. This is only natural since a part of you dies when you lose significant people in your life. Weeping is a "pop-off" valve for us. It is a means of expressing grief. We have to empty ourselves of our deepest sorrows and feelings. 4. ______________________. Job sat on an ash heap and raised his arms in defiance of God. Don't condemn yourself for being human. God is big enough to take your anger. 5. ____________________________. The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath. 6. ____________________________. This phase will take weeks or even months. Some depression will still come, but your life begins to heal. 7. _____________________________. This is when the anger, sadness, and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss. There will come a day when you will smile again. You will feel joy again. Those little ounces of joy come back.

During grief, there are two things you can be sure of: 1.) Your emotions will _______________. 2.) God ____________. He has always been there for you. He is here for you now, and He will never leave you. Go to Him.

2. God offers you the _______________ of Jesus: God mourns with you in the midst of your grief. John 11:17, “On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days.” Four days was important because back in the ancient world, they believed that after a person’s death, their spirit would hover over the dead body for three days. And when the face began to change (rigor mortis was setting in), they believed that after three days the spirit would leave because there would be no hope of it ever re-inhabiting that body. Jesus arrives four days after Lazarus’ death (to prove that even in their superstitious ways of thinking – there was no hope). Vs. 20-21, “When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home. ‘Lord,’ Martha said to Jesus, ‘If you had been here, my brother would not have died.’” Martha runs back to the house and gets Mary. Vs. 33 says, “When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.” John 11:35 says, “Jesus wept.” Jesus paused, knowing exactly what was about to happen and exactly how the story would end. It was as if He was saying, “I’m not too big to understand!” The word for “wept” is a word that means a __________ _____________________ of the spirit. Christ entered into the suffering of this family. 1 Peter 5:10, “But the God of all comfort who called you to His eternal glory in Christ will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” God's Word tells us that He has a plan to help us when we suffer. But it will only work when we allow Him in the driver's seat of our lives. Dr. Paul David Tripp says that if you want to receive God’s comfort, you have to place yourself where His comfort is. Find it in prayer and the Bible, in time spent with Christians, in His creation, under the mentoring of a mature Christian, in God-pleasing music, in quiet time spent with God… There are only two things you can do in respect to God in a time of grief: Move toward Him or move away from Him.

3. God offers you the __________________ of Jesus: If you believe in Jesus you will live, even though you die.

Vs. 23-26, “Jesus said to her, ‘Your brother will rise again.’ Martha answered, ‘I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.’ Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die.’” Jesus was saying that the resurrection was not just some future event – He is the resurrection and the life. Vs. 38-45, “Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. ‘Take away the stone,’ he said. ‘But Lord,’ said Martha, the sister of the dead man, ‘by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.’ Then Jesus said, ‘Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?’ So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, ‘Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.’ When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, ‘Lazarus, come out!’ The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, ‘Take off the grave clothes and let him go.’ Therefore many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary, and had seen what Jesus did, put their faith in him.”

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Brandon: I readjusted this layout to better fit the formatting needed when I print. If you will just keep all your text within the blue margin lines on this page, I shouldn’t have any more issues ☺. Thanks! Dr. Brandon Park | April 17, 2016

The most difficult experience for a person to go through in this life is the loss of a loved one. Grief The most difficult experience for a person to go through in this life is the loss of a loved one. Grief that is not dealt with properly can cause us to lose our perspective on life. Groping through grief is an that is not dealt with properly can cause us to lose our perspective on life. Groping through grief is an emotional, physical and spiritual effort. Faith gives us the power to pass through grief, not avoid it. emotional, physical and spiritual effort. Faith gives us the power to pass through grief, not avoid it. loving Grief is the price you pay for __________________ someone. Zig Ziglar said, “If there were no Grief is the price you pay for __________________ someone. Zig Ziglar said, “If there were no love, there’d be no grief.” When you love deeply, you hurt deeply. love, there’d be no grief.” When you love deeply, you hurt deeply. When you are grieving, God offers you three things: When you are grieving, God offers you three things:

1. God offers you the _______________ of Jesus: Grief makes you ____________ _______________ of Jesus: Grief makes you Presence feel as though God has failed you, but He hasn’t. feel as though God has failed you, but He hasn’t.

Grief is one of the most bitter experiences of life. When grief comes, it often seems as if God is Grief is one of the most bitter experiences of life. When grief comes, it often seems as if God is nowhere to be found. It can cloud your vision and keep you from seeing the comfort and hope that is available for you. Dr. Paul David Tripp said, “Grief blocks my ability to see God, but I shouldn’t conclude that He is absent.” John 11:1-8, “Now a certain man was ill, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. It was Mary who anointed the Lord with ointment and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was ill. So the sisters sent to him, saying, ‘Lord, he whom you love is ill.’ But when Jesus heard it he said, ‘This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.’ Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was. Then after this he said to the disciples, ‘Let us go to Judea again.’ The disciples said to him, ‘Rabbi, the Jews were just now seeking to stone you, and are you going there again?’” All during this time while Lazarus was sick, Mary and Martha were wiping his brow and saying, “Don’t worry... we sent for Jesus. He’s going to be here soon!” But Lazarus died. They wrapped his body in linens and placed him in a tomb…and still no sign of Jesus. Isn’t that how we feel sometimes? The Common Experiences of Grief Shock Denial 1. __________________ and ____________________. At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place. The brain’s first response is to say, “No, this must be some mistake.” Corrie Ten Boom says, “How do I manage a difficulty? Well, at first I try to walk past it. If that does not help, I try to climb over it; and when I cannot climb over it, to crawl underneath. And when that is not possible, I go straight through – God and me.” Numbness 2. Paralysis or _________________________. Grief feels like an immobilizer… it’s really hard to figure out what to do next because it affects your cognitive ability. People have a frozen feeling inside. Some people have described this stage as feeling far away from God. C. S. Lewis said, "No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear.” Weeping 3. Intense _______________________. This is only natural since a part of you dies when you lose significant people in your life. Weeping is a "pop-off" valve for us. It is a means of expressing grief. We have to empty ourselves of our deepest sorrows and feelings. Anger 4. ______________________. Job sat on an ash heap and raised his arms in defiance of God. Don't condemn yourself for being human. God is big enough to take your anger. Depression 5. ____________________________. The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath. Adjustment 6. ____________________________. This phase will take weeks or even months. Some depression will still come, but your life begins to heal. Acceptance 7. _____________________________. This is when the anger, sadness, and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss. There will come a day when you will smile again. You will feel joy again. Those little ounces of joy come back.

change During grief, there are two things you can be sure of: 1.) Your emotions will _______________. 2.) won’t God ____________. He has always been there for you. He is here for you now, and He will never leave you. Go to Him.

Person 2. God offers you the _______________ of Jesus: God mourns with you in the midst of your grief. John 11:17, “On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days.” Four days was important because back in the ancient world, they believed that after a person’s death, their spirit would hover over the dead body for three days. And when the face began to change (rigor mortis was setting in), they believed that after three days the spirit would leave because there would be no hope of it ever re-inhabiting that body. Jesus arrives four days after Lazarus’ death (to prove that even in their superstitious ways of thinking – there was no hope). Vs. 20-21, “When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home. ‘Lord,’ Martha said to Jesus, ‘If you had been here, my brother would not have died.’” Martha runs back to the house and gets Mary. Vs. 33 says, “When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.” John 11:35 says, “Jesus wept.” Jesus paused, knowing exactly what was about to happen and exactly how the story would end. It was as if He was saying, “I’m not too big to understand!” deep groaning The word for “wept” is a word that means a __________ _____________________ of the spirit. Christ entered into the suffering of this family. 1 Peter 5:10, “But the God of all comfort who called you to His eternal glory in Christ will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” God's Word tells us that He has a plan to help us when we suffer. But it will only work when we allow Him in the driver's seat of our lives. Dr. Paul David Tripp says that if you want to receive God’s comfort, you have to place yourself where His comfort is. Find it in prayer and the Bible, in time spent with Christians, in His creation, under the mentoring of a mature Christian, in God-pleasing music, in quiet time spent with God… There are only two things you can do in respect to God in a time of grief: Move toward Him or move away from Him.

3. God offers you the __________________ of Jesus: If you believe Promise in Jesus you will live, even though you die.

Vs. 23-26, “Jesus said to her, ‘Your brother will rise again.’ Martha answered, ‘I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.’ Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die.’” Jesus was saying that the resurrection was not just some future event – He is the resurrection and the life. Vs. 38-45, “Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. ‘Take away the stone,’ he said. ‘But Lord,’ said Martha, the sister of the dead man, ‘by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.’ Then Jesus said, ‘Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?’ So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, ‘Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.’ When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, ‘Lazarus, come out!’ The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, ‘Take off the grave clothes and let him go.’ Therefore many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary, and had seen what Jesus did, put their faith in him.”