Feel ALL Your Feelings. Yes, it's hard, but ... Acknowledge the feeling and try to understand ... support you need so yo
HOW TO OWN YOUR FEELINGS For the companion podcast, listen to Episode 63: Ditching Your Feelings? Stop Putting Others' Feelings Ahead of Your Own at www.tracycrossley.com/podcast
#1. Feel ALL Your Feelings Yes, it’s hard, but when they are conflicting and you sit with it, it gets clear. You’ll find pain and ugliness are mixed with hope and compassion. Allowing your feelings to be whatever they are, without judgment, is the first step to owning them. You may resist at first because you’re afraid of losing someone or something, but beware that resisting just prolongs the growth. Feel, accept and allow.
#2. Name the Feelings Name what you’re experiencing inside as it will bring you deeper to what’s triggering it. If you’re annoyed because someone wants to make plans and you’re not in the mood, tell yourself you’re annoyed and irritated, then ask yourself why. Acknowledge the feeling and try to understand its root, and you’ll come to a more honest decision.
#3. Be Neutral Instead of deciding something has to be the way you’ve always seen it, take the perspective of an observer. We tend to project meaning into what someone else says or does without realizing it. We make it personal when it’s not. When you look from the outside, there’s room for other possibilities. Possibilities that there IS room for you and your feelings.
#4. Practice Forgiveness & Compassion to Yourself & Others This is BIG TIME hard to do, but start by giving, giving, giving to yourself. Practice self-care. Take yourself to lunch or soak in a long bath or indulge in some Netflix. This step is not optional; it’s critical because you’re acknowledging your own needs and then meeting them.
#5. Give to Yourself This is an extension of #4, but taking it to the next level. Look at what you’re seeking from other people (acceptance, value, love) and then give it to yourself, truly and honestly. This is extremely powerful.
#6. Seek Support Whether it’s a phone call to a friend or guidance from a coach, get the support you need so you can feel good about your feelings. They matter… more than you know. *Practicing these steps is like working a muscle—it gets easier the more you do it. What is painful at first will start to become secondnature as you break old patterns and develop new ones.
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