Our approach

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Marijuana was the most prevalent drug used in the past year (80 percent).

3. Crime and Drugs 

78 percent of youths reported committing a property crime, and 72 percent reported committing a violent crime during the year before incarceration.

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58 percent of youths reported that drugs were somehow involved in crimes they had committed in the past year.

4. Risk of HIV and Pregnancy 

56 percent of the 91 percent of youths who were sexually active were at risk for pregnancy because they did not always use a condom or some other form of birth control.

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Among sexually active youths, those with substance use problems (59 percent) were more likely than other youths (49 percent) to report inconsistent use of condoms. As we review this startling but hardly surprising data, I’m reminded of a question

that I’m asked quite frequently: “Are the needs of these kids that different from the needs of other children?” The answer to that question is a resounding “yes.” Children of inmates face a myriad of emotional and psychological challenges including the sudden separation from a parent or being thrown into an unusual living arrangement with a relative or foster parent. Kids of inmates told us that having a parent in jail is a lot like losing a parent to death—it’s sudden, it’s irreversible (for the time being), and it feels final.

Our approach FILO is honored to be serving the adolescent population within Texas, always with the intent of strengthening a young person’s self-confidence and sense of belonging as well as their overall connection with family and community. At FILO you’ll find devoted and passionate professionals who are committed to making a difference in the lives of today’s youth. People like yourself who are dedicated to improving our youth’s future both as

responsible young adults and as loving, motivated, and self-assured adolescents. Our continual goal is to strengthen families, reduce youth substance and alcohol abuse, moderate generational incarceration and encourage self-confidence and self-respect. More importantly, FILO believes that when trust, respect and safety are present, teenagers have an outstanding chance of growing into loving, spiritual, mature and productive adults. FILO believes in the resiliency and strength of youth and their families. We also believe that young people have a greater chance at current and future life success if their family unit is strong, healthy, vibrant and supportive. I believe that it’s counterproductive to examine a child’s behavior without examining what’s going on in their family relationships. In other words, a child does not ‘act out’ without good reason—generally we can identify the root cause of a child’s behavior by learning more about their family background. Our philosophy is that most youth can succeed in spite of their personal situations as long as they have early, consistent intervention and emotional support. Our approach is to build on their assets and potential while helping them address their unique challenges. We never perpetuate stereotypes and biased beliefs about them but instead encourage them to create positive images of themselves and their communities. Under the mutualhelp model, teens are exposed to a foundation built on peer support, alternative perspectives relating to both youth and family issues and alternative choices to their questions and problems. It is FILO’s intention to… 

provide an atmosphere that is safe and supportive

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foster relationships between young people and caring adults who are willing to mentor them

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provide them with opportunities to explore their varied interests and skills

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help them develop life skills that will boost their self-esteem and confidence

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present them with opportunities to give back to the community through volunteerism

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engage them in community activities

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expand their minds through exposure to other cultures, ideas and environments

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create opportunities for them to showcase their leadership skills

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highlight the many contributions made by youth in their schools and community

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provide programs that give them the chance to collaborate with youth from other locations We believe that through peer support youth can gain an internal sense of what their

values are and what kind of choices and solutions are available to them in regard to their personal and family struggles. Our youth groups are similar to the traditional parent support groups. The groups are based on the mutual-help model in which teens act as both peer support and peer leaders within their own groups. These groups allow teens to explore their personal and ethnic strengths, their passions, their hurts and their triumphs within a safe environment. They may even share laughter, sarcasm and an occasional tear!

“…two roads diverge in a forest. I chose the one less traveled and that has made all the difference.” Robert Frost

When in TUCHASI FILO operates on the TUCHASI (pronounced two-KAH-see) Principle. These are the tenets on which we serve the community & extend ourselves through TNP and other FILO programs. TRUST is the cornerstone of any solid partnership, so we must earn the trust of our youth —we do this by walking the talk and showing them that we’re human. Real support is the result of UNDERSTANDING youth and their challenges. On a fundamental level, there has to be a profound sense of CARING between the youth and the adults that partner with or serve them.

We encourage gut-level HONESTY because we believe that it is essential to healing wounds and developing emotionally, spiritually and socially. We call it ‘owning up’ or assuming ACCOUNTABILITY for our actions & how they affect others. SAFETY is created when the preceding six tenets are in place. What is doing the right thing when no one else is there? INTEGRITY.

Why we’re committed to youth Quite simply, they are our best chance at a brighter tomorrow. FILO’s involvement with young people helps them develop into independent, productive and engaging citizens. We don’t give lip service about the importance of hearing the voices of our youth —we believe that they add value to everything they touch. They offer fresh, innovative and untainted ideas. They almost always spice up conversations with their unlimited thinking. But, most importantly, research has shown that involving youth in efforts to bring about social change is just plain smart. Just in case you’re still wondering if your involvement with at-risk youth is worth it, consider these points:  Youth development is a sure fire deterrent to negative behavior  Youth development is the anti-drug  Youth development builds character and a keen sense of self  Youth development can help prevent teen pregnancy, drug & alcohol use and truancy  Youth development now, means not paying later The Take No Prisoners Teen program operates on the fundamental basis that young people cannot thrive without trust, safety and respect. In order for them to move through their hormonal, sexual, angry, defiant, tender and otherwise vulnerable stages, they must have a safe place to explore and stretch their sense of identity and responsibility.

Therefore, one of the goals of the TNP is to create a safe atmosphere for teens to explore their identities, challenges, passions and fears without the threat of shame, rejection and criticism. In addition, the program is meant to create a space within the community where teens can come and express their feelings and needs while honoring their hopes and aspirations despite their family situations. We’re optimistic we can begin to nurture a place where compassion and options converge to offer teens the very best in resources and support. An avenue, if you will, where they can find the tools, the words, and the courage to face the conflict within their family and themselves while balancing that with the positive in their lives. Many of these youth have a difficult time seeing themselves outside of the criminal justice system, particularly when every member of their family may have gone to jail or prison at some point. Our job is to create hope and inspiration in homes where they’ve both been in short supply.

Empowerment isn’t what we do FOR them, it’s what we create WITH them They say that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and no truer words were ever spoken when it comes to at-risk youth. Not only was TNP created to help support kids of inmates, it was also designed to introduce educators, counselors, churches, schools and youth-serving agencies to additional prevention strategies that they can execute with the youth in their communities. Like sexual or child abuse, incarceration continues to be a hush-hush topic. Children are not encouraged to tell anyone that they have a parent or relative in prison. So, many kids shoulder an enormous amount of shame and stigma. By intervening with support systems early and often, we can counteract the potentially devastating effects of incarceration. As you know, prevention is more than just sticking an at-risk child into an after-school program; it’s literally developing these kids one by one. And when there are positive values governing a prevention-intervention program, we can almost be assured that…

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we will not just reduce at-risk behaviors but also help youth create healthier ones

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we will become partners with young people to stamp out negative or socially undesirable behaviors

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we will improve the mental health of our young people

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young people will be less likely to engage in risky and health-compromising behaviors

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we will nurture a community and nation of leaders who will continue the work of youth development

What youth can expect Those who enter the Take No Prisoners Teen program will find that they do not have to face their challenges alone. They will discover a place, one they co-create, where choices and self-respect are possible without violence and self-destruction. They will experience through group activities, videos and sharing that shame does not have to be a dominant force in their lives. They will learn that they do not have to pay for the mistakes of their parents, brothers or sisters who have entered the criminal justice system. They also will learn that they are not destined to end up in jail or prison simply by the virtue of being born into a long lineage of offenders. And they will discover that they have the power to make positive choices at home, school and in the community. Teens will find, through peer support and supportive “leveling” (being ‘real’ with their peers), that they can let go of the self-defeating and negative thoughts that may have kept them down.

Measure yourself by your best moments, not your worst. – Donald Loving

How does TNP work? The Take No Prisoners Teen program is a 15-week education program that combines both structured learning and peer support within a group format. This program exists so teens can have an opportunity to face their most difficult life challenges and have the strength and skill to be ‘in’ them and move ‘through’ them. They learn to expand their resources both internally and externally so that they can build or strengthen their family relationships. Ideally, the Take No Prisoners program coincides with FILO’s One Family At A Time Mentoring program, which was developed to support adult family members or caregivers. TNP is a 15-week program that combines 10 weeks of structured learning with five weeks of support group participation. The OFAT program helps parents, many of them ex-offenders, to become the balance point for positive family relationships and important life learning.

The Five C’s -- caring, connection, communication,

consistency and consequences -- are the basic principles upon which that curriculum builds. Ideally, both the teen and parent programs occur simultaneously to encourage selfconfidence, family strengthening and teen support. The TNP program also is easily adaptable for use as a TeenTalk (support group) where the activities are structured to promote group discussion and interaction about adolescent issues or those specific to kids with incarcerated parents.

In this sense,

TeenTalk acts as an ongoing support group where the teens can go more in depth about the topics covered in the 15-week TNP program. They also experience alternative ways to cope and deal with the disharmony or negativity within their family. For example, teens experiment with communication and listening styles and participate in looking at their definitions of honesty, respect and boundaries.

Kids of inmates feel a huge sense of ‘differentness’ that kids whose parents have not been in the system can’t really identify with. While their friends are hanging out at the pizza parlor on weekends, the daughter of an inmate might be making a four-hour trek to Huntsville to visit her father. The small things that most kids between the ages of 11 – 17 take for granted, these kids cherish. Like getting to hug a mother’s neck or touch a father’s face during a prison visit. These are moments they live for. Unfortunately, they also feel this sense of helplessness. The criminal justice system holds their loved one, and there’s nothing they can say or do to change that. This fact creates enormous anxiety. Kids report feeling fearful of what is ‘really’ happening to their parent behind those cell walls. This anxiety leads to distraction at home, at school & in the community, and, pretty soon, the kid of an inmate is depressed and withdrawn. If we want to turn the tide for—and with—youth in breaking the cycle of substance abuse, violence, teen pregnancy, juvenile delinquency and the like, the place to begin is with those adolescents themselves. This process of mutual-help allows teens to be team players and family members and not merely guests in their own environment.

It

encourages teens to co-create, with their fellow peers, a safe and trusting environment so that they may explore the family and societal pressures facing them. Changing attitudes Generally speaking, we’ve created a world that makes teens feel that they are outside of it. They are often looked at, talked about and treated as though they are visitors within their own community. So, it is no surprise that, as a result, some teens, particularly those of minority backgrounds, experience community isolation, racism, oppression and low self-esteem. It behooves us to take note of how these issues feed into the larger problems of teen pregnancy, drug and alcohol abuse, truancy and crime.

As long as teens feel ‘separate’ (outside, not belonging, not accepted) from their community and family, they will continue to act in accordance with those feelings. All of us learn through experience, as well as through watching others. Consequently, it is important for us to take our role as mentors, teachers, facilitators, and parents seriously. We need to support youth by setting limits and offering appropriate consequences when necessary. Teens also need us to be there with love and compassion as they triumph and even when they make mistakes.

Things that make you go hmmm…. It was Tuesday, and, on Saturday, Charles, a 13-year-old boy, was scheduled to visit his mother in a prison, six hours from his home. He had not seen her in almost three months and couldn’t wait for his cousin to drive him there. Charles prepared for the visit by drawing his mother a picture of all of her favorite things—flowers, football and their house. His cousin had promised him that he’d pick him up at 8 a.m. on Saturday. And, all week long, Charles marked the days off on his calendar. He couldn’t wait to see his mother’s eyes. He loved her smile. Well, the weekend came, and Charles stepped outside of his grandmother’s house with his backpack around 7:50 a.m., eager and ready for the long drive. When his cousin hadn’t shown up by 8:30, Charles decided to page him. No response. So, he waited…and waited…and waited. By 10, Charles finally saw the handwriting on the wall and went back inside. Three more months later, he got to visit his mother. What effect do you think this experience had on this young man?

Making sense of it all One of the primary challenges of working with this population is that they also are grappling with the ordinary awkwardness associated with being adolescent. Throw on top of that the fact that they’ve lost a parent, sibling or other loved one to the system and you’ve got the making of a potentially volatile but completely preventable situation. We

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Topic Exploring youth/teen challenges Examining challenges specific to having an incarcerated parent, relative

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Honoring our needs Building a positive support system

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Self-esteem Who am I? What will I become? Stereotypes, prejudice

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Teen Talk Communicating Understanding others Listening

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TNP Program

Identifying our feelings

Activities (Exercise suggestions are bolded) 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

Welcome: Facilitator Introductions, Principles, Roles, Teen Intros & Curriculum Overview Cycle 1: My name is,…Sometimes I don’t like to share my personal feelings because… Cycle 2: My name is,…I am comfortable sharing that I have a parent in prison because… The Top 10 things people say about teens and people in prison (2) Forced choice: Being a teenager today is harder than it’s ever been! Agree/Disagree Cycle 3: My name is,…and the toughest part about being a teen with a parent in prison is… Cycle 4: My name is, and what frustrates me most about my parent being in prison is… Family Patterns exercise What patterns have my family and I created? Prison? Hope and Dreams What are my expectations? Ending Cycle: My name is, One thing new that I learned or was reminded of today…

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

Opening Cycle: My name is, Something new or good that happened to me this week is… Review of previous week’s material Cycle 1: My name is… and one way I take care of myself is…. Cycle 2: My name is, and one way I take care of others is…. Honoring my needs—Building my support system H.A.L.T.T—Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Triggered Response Options (passive, assertive, aggressive) Rescuing and Empowerment, 10 ways my life has changed lately Self-image Collage—who am I? Exercise – learning to be vulnerable Ending Cycle: My name is, One thing new that I learned or was reminded of today…

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

Opening Cycle: My name is, Something new or good that happened to me this week is… Review of previous week’s material Lemon exercise: Finding strength within our differences. Cycle 1: My name is…One thing that is special about me is Love Yourself: Handout Sun exercise: Looking at our perceptions and how they relate to self-esteem. Self-esteem Cycle, Stereotypes of my group Forced Choice: In a family I would rather be the (parent/teen) Teen Choices (compliant, confident, controlling) Ending Cycle: My name is, One thing new that I learned or was reminded of today…

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9.

Opening Cycle Review of previous week’s material Cycle 1: My name is…The adult I trust most or feel safe to talk with is __________ because Things that ‘keep us’ from communicating ‘Saying it’ Out loud (“I” messages) Forced Choice—The person who has the most correct view of the world is a (parent/teen) Listening Qs: Discussion and exercise, Talking vs. Listening Good Listening depends on 3 things (part 1,2) Ending Cycle: My name is, One thing new that I learned or was reminded of today…

1. 2. 3.

Opening Cycle Review of previous week’s material Cycle 1: My name is…I don’t feel that my parents should punish me because…