Putting mental health first:

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OPINION

Putting mental health first: Asking for help may not be easy, but it might be the only way up On a Monday morning over a month ago, I sat crying in counselor Marge Eckard’s office for more than half the day. This wasn’t something unusual; in the weeks leading up to that day, I had probably spent more time in the counselor’s office than I had in my actual classes. On that Monday, I wasn’t there because a family member died or because I’d broken up with my boyfriend. I was there because the inescapable cycle of overwhelming anxiety that had been trapping me inside my own head for months had become too much for me to handle on my own. Everything, from my excessive amounts of homework to my relationships with pretty much everyone I loved, had become too much. I was breaking. Eckard decided to call my mom, because she was worried that I was having “hopeless thoughts,” which are treated as suicidal thoughts. It was terrifying for everyone involved, including myself. I’ve never wanted to kill myself, but I felt like there was no way to escape my anxiety. It was so overwhelming, and it felt like there was no way out. I didn’t go to school the next day. Instead, I had a meeting with my therapist, who became so concerned about my “hopeless thoughts” that she referred me and my parents to a place called Marillac. Marillac is an adolescent inpatient psychiatric hospital, and teens who have thoughts like the ones I was having go there to get intense treatment for mental

SCOUT MOLDER managing editor illnesses. I was admitted. They took away my phone, gave me different clothes to wear and separated me from my parents. I was put into a “unit” with other kids, and my every move was monitored. It was the single most terrifying thing I have ever had to do. I spent three days there, including my birthday. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, depression and OCD. I did several different types of therapy, including group therapy, art therapy and dog therapy. It was probably the most difficult three days of my life, but it helped. When I got out of Marillac, I felt better. I knew I wasn’t completely healed, but I was hopeful, which was a huge improvement. I realized that my mental health came before any school work or academic pressure, and that made me feel more in control of my life. With the help of Eckard and school administration, I was able to make changes at school that would help me focus on getting better mentally. However, even after Marillac, even over a month later, I still have bad days. Sometimes

I can only make it half a day at school because my anxiety is so severe. Other days I can’t go at all. Sometimes I feel so depressed that social interaction becomes difficult. There are days that I wonder if any of this has been worth it. But then I have good days. There are days when I feel almost no anxiety, when I feel happy, and I want to spend time with my friends. There are days that I make it through a whole day of school, even when it’s hard. In the midst of all my bad days, I have good ones to look forward to. I think more than anything else, my experience with mental illness has taught me that it’s OK to do whatever I need to do to help myself heal. If I can’t go to school, I don’t go. If I can’t spend time with friends, I ask them to reschedule. If I wake up thinking that I feel strong enough to push through the anxiety, then I push through it. I take each day as it comes, whether it be good or bad. As I continue to battle my mental illness, it’s important for me to make other people understand that this isn’t something “weird.” It’s OK to be sick mentally just like it’s OK to be sick physically. Things like anxiety and depression aren’t things to be brushed off and “gotten over.” They’re legitimate illnesses that require serious treatment. The bottom line is, if you suffer with a mental illness, it’s OK to ask for help. I know from experience that getting help isn’t always easy, but it’s better than doing it alone.