senior living - Senior Resource Center | Douglas County

Better SENIOR LIVING June 2018

Inside This Issue

Moments with Marvel........ Page 3 Why Seniors Change, Part 2 LEGAL MATTERS................ Page 4 Vacation Season Is Here: Security Tips for Your “Home Sweet Home” Retirement FUND$............ Page 5 Simple Ways to Maximize Your Social Security Income Leisure & Learning Activities ..................................Pages 6 - 12 Caregiver Corner............. Page 15 Caregiving and Guilt: A Complex Relationship New Days Ahead............. Page 16 Your Community Means Your Health LEGALESE........................ Page 19 Options When Facing An Overpayment from Social Security Senior Romance, Sex, and Relationships.................... Page 20 May-December Romance

SRC SUMMER SERIES

See page 2 & 11 for details.

www.YourSRC.org

Lew Llewellyn: To Know Him Is to Love Him

By Dr. Marvel Williamson, Executive Director, Senior Resource Center for Douglas County 1928 was a very good year for the Llewellyn family of Hector, Arkansas. On May 11 Herbert Eustace “Lew” Llewellyn was born to Thomas and Lillian somewhere in the middle of their 12 children. Ninety years later a large group of family and friends from around the United States gathered in Lawrence recently to celebrate Lew’s 90th birthday at the home of Mark and Amy Wilson, one of Lew’s daughters. A lifetime of accomplishments pepper Lew’s story. After coaching and teaching at high schools in Riverton and Holton, KS, Lew’s life path brought him to Lawrence in 1957 as head coach for football, basketball, cheerleading (which he soon passed to a female staff member), and track at the then Haskell Institute, which ultimately became Haskell Indian Nations University. Lew rose through the ranks to become Haskell’s Director of Athletics and then Director of Student Activities. Lew graduated from high school in Oklahoma in 1946 as World War II was ending and enlisted in the US Navy. Upon discharge he attended Independence (KS) Junior College, then went on to Pittsburg State Teachers College where he met his beloved wife, Lois. Lew likes to tell the story of how he proposed to Lois, the university’s homecoming queen, as she sat on his lap in the back of a convertible. Without any forethought, he popped the question “just so the other guys would leave her

alone,” he says. She accepted on the condition that Lew switch from being a Southern Baptist (“I wasn’t a very good one anyway,” Lew jokes) to Lutheran, something he never regretted. Lois went on to teach special education for 22 years in the Lawrence school system. After her retirement she served as the first Executive Director of what is now Trinity In-Home Care and as the Kansas State President of the Lutheran Women’s Mission League. Lew and Lois worked throughout the Lawrence community on countless projects, including the KU Relays. They received the Kiwanis Kansas Builder of Families Award and worked tirelessly for Immanuel Lutheran Church. Lois passed on in 2015. They outgrew their small home in Lawrence quickly as the babies began arriving. The perfect house became the one built in 1923 by the inventor of basketball, James Naismith, just north of Lawrence High School on Mississippi Street. To this day, a corner of the den is dedicated to Naismith, complete with his portrait and a mounted peach basket and basketball. The rest of the Llewellyn den is filled with the many awards Lew and Lois received over the years. In 1984 Lew and several others were given early retirement as part of the decision to place more Native American faculty at Haskell. The students honored (Lew Llewellyn, continued on page 21)

785-842-0543 • Temporary Location: 2920 Haskell Ave • Mailing Address: 745 Vermont St • Lawrence, KS 66044

Summer Series from SRC The Final Episode: Scripting Old Age Your Way Making Your House or Next Home Suitable for Your Older Self Wednesday, June 27 at 6:30 PM

Helping You and Your Family Face the Tough Questions

Avoiding Legal and Financial Pitfalls in Later Life

Wednesday, June 13 at 6:30 PM

Wednesday, July 11 at 6:30 PM

Come to one. Come to all. Each session is just $25.00 per person. Led by area experts, these sessions will address different components of life planning and provide tools to ensure your life is scripted the way you want, not ad libbed in crisis mode.

Join us for all three sessions at Pioneer Ridge Independent Living, 1000 Wakarusa Dr, Lawrence

Register online at www.YourSRC.org/shop or call Jerry Guffey at 785-842-0543 today!

The end of life deserves as much beauty, care and respect as the beginning

Trust in Visiting Nurses Hospice to provide your loved one with compassionate end-of-life care All Your Home Care Needs Under One Roof Home Health | Rehabilitation | Hospice | Help at Home (785) 843-3738 | www.KansasVNA.org Page 2

Better Senior Living

June 2018

Moments with Marvel

Why Seniors Change, Part 2

By Dr. Marvel Williamson, Executive Director, Senior Resource Center for Douglas County With seniors living longer now than previous generations did, we have the opportunity to observe the effects of aging well into the 90s and beyond. Last month I shared with you my insights on why some people become more relaxed and pleasant as they age. However, others turn grouchy and curmudgeonly. Setting aside those who experience brain changes for the moment, why do some seniors become grumpier as they age? 1. The physical changes that accompany aging are no picnic. Whether due to the sharp twinges of arthritis, difficulty hearing, uncooperative bladders or prostates, or some other challenge, life becomes more difficult, if not downright painful. Some seniors are able to be cheerful in spite of their ailments, but the constant effort can wear down even the most resilient person. 2. Seniors are worried about money. Living longer means making savings stretch further than expected. Gone are the hopes of traveling in retirement, eating out more often, or going to the theater. Even the best planners were hit hard by the stock market drop in 2008. Unexpected crises or circumstances that no one could have predicted may have drained funds. Choices have to be made between which bills to pay and whether to include meat in the grocery list versus getting a prescription refilled.

but the mirror says differently and their bodies are wearing out. Nothing can be done to stop the inevitable. Even people who are satisfied with the lives they led and who have strong spiritual beliefs in life after death, have a normal nervousness about the end of their existence as they know it. Any and all of these truths can result in discouragement and depression. Unfortunately, no one likes being around a grouchy person of any age, further aggravating the potential for isolation. While nothing can stop the clock, help is possible. The answers lie in deliberate outreach by everyone, including seniors themselves, to assume responsibility for another human being who is in need of a friend, a ride, a meal, some respect. As we whizz down the street in our fast cars, let’s remember all of those invisible people inside their homes. Anywhere we go, look every senior in the eyes and smile. Have a conversation and ask for advice. You may just make that person’s whole day better because of your simple contact. Better yet, become a friend and get involved.

3. Society disrespects older people. Gray hair and wrinkles have become symbols of obsolescence, not wisdom. Jobs go to younger people. No one seems to want the opinion of an older person, and seniors feel invisible. 4. Loss of independence when the car keys have to be relinquished is a huge blow. Stores aren’t within walking distance. Getting anywhere becomes a chore. Isolation sets in, creating loneliness, especially after loss of a spouse. 5. Death is coming. Time is running out. Bucket lists aren’t likely to be finished. The irony is that seniors feel young inside,

June 2018


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LEGAL MATTERS - A Letter From District Attorney Charles Branson

Vacation Season Is Here: Security Tips for Your “Home Sweet Home” June is here and with it kick off of the traditional summer vacation season. Unfortunately, that long awaited trip may also make your home an attractive target to a criminal. Have you considered what steps you can take to keep your home and property safe while you are away? I am using my article this month to provide you tips on how to reduce your chances of becoming a crime victim while you are away from home. General home security: • Ensure all doors and windows are kept locked at all times. • Consider installing deadbolt locks on all exterior doors. • If leaving windows open is needed for ventilation, install a “stop” in the frame that allows it to be opened no more than four inches. One way to create a “stop” is to drill a hole through the upper frame and place a removable screw into the hole. • Areas around exterior doors should be well lit with motion activated lights. If light installation is a problem, easy to mount solar powered, motion activated lights are available. • Check that door hinges face the inside of the home. If hinges are on

• House numbers should be easy to read from the street. In an urgent situation, law enforcement and other emergency responders need to find the correct address quickly.

the outside, consider installing nonremovable pins. • Keep window drapes and blinds closed. A criminal can easily size up a home by looking in uncovered windows. • Do not leave garage door openers in the car. A stolen opener is an easy way into the home with an attached garage. • Consider keeping the door between your garage and your home locked. • Shrubs and trees near doors and windows should be kept trimmed back to prevent blocking lines of sight. Do not give a criminal a place to hide. • Keep ladders and tools in a secure area and keep storage sheds locked. • Lock the door when leaving, even if the plan is to only be gone for a few minutes.

Better Senior Living Michelle Meier Dr. Marvel Williamson Minuteman Press, 1404 E 24th St B, Lawrence, KS 66044

For advertising, calendar listings, or other content submissions, contact Michelle Meier at [email protected]. Senior Resource Center for Douglas County is an independent 501(c)3 organization funded by the Douglas County Mill Levy • Older Americans Act through the Jayhawk Area Agency on Aging • Kansas Department on Aging • Kansas Department of Transportation • special grants • project income • fund-raising activities • and your donations. Senior Resource Center for Douglas County does not discriminate on the basis of race, religion, age, sex, color, ancestry, national origin, disability, sexual orientation, or size. If you think that you have been discriminated against, you have the right to file a complaint with Senior Resource Center for Douglas County. 785-842-0543 • TDD: 1-800-766-3777 • Toll free: 1-877-295-3277 • www.YourSRC.org

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Other items to consider: • Install a monitored security system, and post signs in the yard and windows as theft deterrents. • If you believe someone is lurking near your home, call 9-1-1. You do not want to wait until it is too late to try to summon help. (Security Tips, continued on pg. 21)

SRC Board of Directors

A publication of Senior Resource Center for Douglas County. Better Senior Living is published monthly and is available online and via mail by subscription. Editor: Executive Director: Printer:

Special considerations for vacations: • Have multiple light timers set to turn the lights and a radio on and off. • Consider placing padlocks through the garage door’s tracks. The rollers will be blocked and the door cannot be forced up. • Have a close friend or family member pick up mail and newspapers or stop their delivery. Ask your house watchers to call law enforcement if they see anything unusual. • Do not advertise vacation plans ahead of time on social media platforms. Post vacation pictures after the fact.


Janet Prestoy, Chair Ernesto Hodison, Vice Chair Doni Mooberry, Treasurer Steve Tesdahl, Secretary

Hank Booth, Carol Bowen, Kay Brada, Mary Kay Digby, Eileen McGivern, Sarah Randolph, Dr. Maren Turner, Dr. Judy Wright

Paid advertising from outside entities in Better Senior Living does not reflect the policies or views of or indicate endorsement by the Senior Resource Center for Douglas County. June 2018

RETIREMENT FUND$

Simple Ways to Maximize Your Social Security Income By Michelle Meier

If you are nearing retirement age and find you have little to no retirement savings put aside, a number of simple ways can maximize the amount you can collect from Social Security once you are eligible. Work for 35 Years Your social security income is calculated on your highest income over the course of 35 years. If you did not work for a total of 35 years, your average income is reduced by the number of years with zero income. So even if there were years you did not work, having even a part time job can help add to your social security benefit when the time comes. Work until Full Retirement Age The easiest tactic to boost your monthly social security income is to delay your receipt of social security benefits until you reach full retirement age. Although it can sound appealing to retire at age 62, knowing we are living longer and can have higher expenses the more we age, you can maximize your monthly income by waiting until full retirement age (67) to begin collecting your social security income. Delay Claiming Social Security until 70 In addition, if you can delay claiming full benefits until age 70, you will increase your monthly benefit by eight percent each year. By waiting three years, you can maximize your social security income, which will then carry over throughout your retirement years. Limit outside Income Regardless of your age, if you are still working and collecting social security, but have not reached full retirement age, you want to make sure that you don’t earn too much, or you may be penalized and be paying back a portion of your social security benefit. According to the regulations from the Social Security Administration, if you make more than $17,040 through wages in 2018, you will have $1 of every $2 of social security withheld. Once you reach age 70, you can still work and collect social security, but the limit jumps to $45,360; the penalty remains, but is reduced to $1 of every $3 from your social security income. For an outline of how wages can affect your social security income, refer to the SSA document “How Work Affects Your Benefits” online at www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN05-10069.pdf.

June 2018

Estimate Longevity Life expectancy is also a consideration when looking at which income to draw from first or even whether to retire early. If you or your spouse are already facing major health issues or disability, it may make sense to claim your benefits now while you can. This may lock in the monthly rate of your benefit that can be passed on to your spouse after your death, but you will be able to utilize the benefit now if you are unable to work for health reasons. Conversely, if you are healthy and happy working, delaying your benefits as long as possible will help ensure that your benefits will sustain you throughout the span of your lifetime and support you if you do face any health issues. Stagger Retirement with Your Spouse There are a number of ways to maximize your income between you and your spouse, or even when claiming benefits from a deceased spouse. If you and your spouse are the same age but had a significant gap in income, you may want to claim the lower benefit first knowing the spousal benefit at the higher income rate will extend to the remaining spouse for the duration of his or her life if the spousal benefit is more. For more information about claiming spousal benefits, go to www.faq.ssa.gov/en-US/Topic/article/KA-02011. Social Security Calculators If you do have other savings to add to your retirement income, many additional considerations may impact how to maximize your social security benefit. Either way, these are discussions you should have with a financial advisor. In the meantime, you can use various benefit calculators on the Social Security Administration website that can help you make some estimates and calculate various aspects of your social security income, including a retirement age calculator, an early or late retirement calculator, an earnings test calculator, and others. Find all of these calculators at www.ssa.gov/planners/ calculators/. (The information in this article is meant to be general information and should not be relied on as a substitute for advice from a financial planning professional. Specific numbers and calculators included in the article can all be found on the Social Security Administration website at www.SSA.org.)


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Leisure and Learning Activities Senior Resource Center for Douglas County (SRC) offers information on programs available for seniors across the county. All leisure and learning opportunities are open to all Douglas County residents, unless otherwise noted. Offerings available specifically through the Senior Resource Center are noted with a SRC offerings at www.YourSRC.org or by calling 785-842-0543.

LIED CENTER PRESENTS

s before SRC listings. You can register for all

LIVE PERFORMANCES

The Lied Center of Kansas serves the state’s flagship university, students, and the greater community by functioning as a catalyst for the arts, creativity, engagement, and community building through diverse, relevant, and world-class artists. Buy tickets online at https://ticketweb.lss.ku.edu or call 785864-2787. Senior citizens age 62 and over and active military (ID required) save 10% off the full-priced adult ticket cost for Lied Series Auditorium performances only. Parking at the Lied Center is free on weekdays after 5 pm and all day on the weekend. The Lied Center has announced some amazing performances for the 2018 – 2019 season marking the 25th Anniversary of the Lied Center. Here are a few highlights coming next season.

Michael McDonald

Sunday August 12, 7:30 p.m. $75 Gold Circle, $40 - 55 Adult, $21 - 29 Student/Youth With a career that encompasses five Grammys, numerous chart successes, personal and professional accolades, as well as collaborations with some of the world’s most prominent artists, Michael McDonald remains an enduring force in popular music. Hailing from St. Louis, McDonald arrived in Los Angeles in the early 1970s, honing his talents as a studio musician before becoming an integral part of Steely Dan. In the mid-‘70s, McDonald was invited to join the Doobie Brothers as the band redefined their sound, with McDonald serving as singer, keyboardist, and songwriter. Throughout his career with these bands and a solid solo career, McDonald has an extensive catalog of Top 40 hits.

Camelot

June 8 - 24, Audio Described Performances: June 16 & 17 Theatre Lawrence, 4660 Bauer Farm Dr, Lawrence $26.99 Adult Return to the magic and “shining moment” that is Camelot! Young King Arthur hopes to create an idyllic kingdom guided by honor and righteousness, embodied by his Knights of the Round Table. However, Arthur’s perfect world is an illusion filled with enchantment and pageantrywith glorious melodies, including “If Ever I Would Leave You,” “The Simple Joys of Maidenhood” and “The Lusty Month of May.”

Final Thursdays Concert

Thursday, June 28, 6 p.m. Eudora Senior Center, 706 Main St, Eudora Stop in for monthly concerts on the final Thursday every month.

Trevor Noah

Saturday, September 22, 7 p.m. $50 - 75 General Public, $40 Student Trevor Noah is the most successful comedian in Africa and is the host of the Emmy and Peabody Award-winning The Daily Show on Comedy Central. In recent years with Noah as host, The Daily Show has been nominated for multiple Writers Guild and NAACP Image Awards and won a GLAAD Media Award.

ENTERTAINMENT O.U.R.S. Dances

Sundays, 6-9 p.m. Eagles Lodge, 1803 W 6th St, Lawrence $6 per person cover charge Dance to live country-themed music! Carry-in meal at 7:15.

s SCRABBLE Club – Open Play

Mondays, including holidays, 1 - 4 p.m. Clinton Place, 2125 Clinton Pkwy, Lawrence

s Pool (Billiards) The Lied Center is an SRC Partner. Page 6

Open for play Monday - Friday 8 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. SRC, 2920 Haskell Ave, Lawrence


June 2018

Leisure and Learning Activities SUPPORT GROUPS

MUSIC

s SRC Caregivers Support Group

First and Third Mondays, June 4 & 18, 2:15 - 3:45 p.m. SRC, 2920 Haskell Ave, Lawrence Meet with fellow and former caregivers in a safe haven to discuss challenges and issues surrounding being a caregiver of a senior.

Junkyard Jazz

Every Thursday, 7-8:30 p.m. American Legion, 3408 W 6th St, Lawrence Join the Junkyard Jazz Band every Thursday for an ongoing jazz jam session full of fan favorites and a full dance floor!

JAAA Caregiver Support Group

First Wednesday, June 6, 1 - 2 p.m. First United Methodist Church, 704 Eighth St, Baldwin City Support group for caregivers of individuals age 60 or older. Meet with other caregivers in your area who may be struggling with some of the same issues you face while caring for your loved one. Jayhawk Area Agency on Aging staff will be present to answer questions and provide assistance. For more information call 785-832-0754.

s Support Group for Spouses of Dementia Patients

Second Thursday, June 12, 11 a.m. -12 p.m. Senior Resource Center, 2920 Haskell Ave, Lawrence Join other spouses in a support group dedicated to partners who are caring for someone with dementia. This group will provide a safe place to share your concerns, discuss caregiving issues and solutions, and learn about additional resources available in the community.

Grief Support Group

First and Third Mondays, June 4 & 18, 4 p.m. Lawrence Memorial Hospital 325 Maine St, Lawrence Facilitated by LMH Chaplain Angela Lowe. Meets in the LMH Chapel office, usually the first and third Mondays of each month. For more information, call 785-505-3140.

Better Breathers Club

Second Tuesday, June 12, 10 - 11 a.m. Lawrence Memorial Hospital, Pulmonary Rehab Dept 330 Arkansas St, Lawrence This free education and support group is for those with chronic lung conditions and their support persons. Meeting takes place in the LMH Pulmonary Rehab Department, 3rd floor. For more information, call 785-505-2850.

Cancer Support Group

Third Wednesday, June 20, 5:30 p.m. Lawrence Memorial Hospital, Oncology Center 330 Arkansas St # 105, Lawrence Join representatives from Lawrence Memorial Hospital’s Oncology Center for a general cancer support group. Open to anyone with any cancer diagnoses and/or others affected by their cancer. For more information, contact 785-505-2807 or e-mail [email protected].

June 2018

Lawrence Parkinson’s Support Group

Third Tuesday, June 19, 2 –-3 p.m. Presbyterian Church, 2415 Clinton Pkwy Join others affected by Parkinson’s for support, information, and socialization for people with Parkinson’s and their caregivers. New members welcome.

Look Good, Feel Better

Third Wednesday, June 20, 5:30 – 7:00 p.m. Lawrence Memorial Hospital 325 Maine St, Lawrence “Look Good, Feel Better” is a non-medical public service workshop that teaches beauty techniques to cancer patients to help manage any appearance-related side effects of cancer treatment. Services are provided at no charge by trained volunteer beauty professionals. Offered and supported by the American Cancer Society. Advance registration required. Call 785-505-2807 to enroll.

Stroke Support Group

Third Tuesday, June 19, 4 - 5:30 p.m. Lawrence Memorial Hospital, Conference Room D South 325 Maine St, Lawrence Join us in sharing experiences and ideas about life changes brought on by stroke. Monthly meetings include informal and formal presentations on treatments and services available for stroke survivors and their loved ones. For more information please contact Trena Triplett at 785505-2712 or [email protected].


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Leisure and Learning Activities HEALTH & FITNESS

s Yoga for Every Body

Tuesdays, 3 - 4 p.m. Carnegie Building, 200 W 9th St, Lawrence $28/8 week sessions Gentle yoga improves joint movement and increases core and leg strength. Bring a yoga mat and wear comfortable clothes. This class runs in ongoing 8 week sessions. To register online, go to https://yoursrc.org/product/yogaevery-body/. For more information call 785-842-0543.

s Welcome to Medicare

First Wednesday, June 6, 12 - 1 p.m. Lawrence Public Library, 707 Vermont, Lawrence FREE New to Medicare? Join our Health & Human Services team as they present information on what to expect from the Medicare system at this informative session. Call 785842-0543 for more information.

Rhythm & Moves

Tuesdays & Thursdays, 10:30 - 11:20 a.m. Sports Pavilion Lawrence, 100 Rock Chalk Ln, Lawrence Class specifically designed for Parkinson’s patients. March, box, use drumming sticks, navigate obstacle courses and agility ladders, and pass and throw balls. To register visit www.lmh.org/parkinsons/.

Twist & Shout

Tuesdays & Thursdays, 9:30 - 10:20 a.m. Sports Pavilion Lawrence, 100 Rock Chalk Ln, Lawrence Stretch, twist, and perform other movements to challenge yourself physically and vocally in this class designed for Parkinson’s patients. To register visit www.lmh.org/ parkinsons/.

AM Walking Club (LPRD)

Monday - Friday 7 - 9 a.m. East Lawrence Rec Center, 1245 E 15th St, Lawrence FREE Need exercise? Get your heart pumping and have a great time building friendships with fellow walkers. For more information, call 785-832-7950.

BY APPOINTMENT 2nd & 4th Wednesdays, June 12 & 26, 9 a.m. - Noon SRC Consultation Room, 2920 Haskell Ave, Lawrence Clint Olson from the KS Commission on Veterans Affairs Office will be available for senior veterans at the SRC offices twice a month. Contact Clint Olson for immediate assistance or to set up an appointment at 785-843-5233 or [email protected].

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Monday - Friday East Lawrence Recreation Center, 1245 E 15th St, Lawrence Sports Pavilion Lawrence, 100 Rock Chalk Ln, Lawrence FREE Pickleball free play is offered at East Lawrence Recreation Center, as well as Sports Pavilion Lawrence throughout the year. For times and information regarding free play or dates of scheduled tournaments please contact the Adult Sports office at 785-832-7920 or email adultsports@lawrenceks. org.

Senior Supper and Seminar

Second Tuesday, June 12; supper: 5 p.m., seminar: 6 p.m. Lawrence Memorial Hospital Auditorium 325 Maine St, Lawrence Fee: $5.50 The June topic is June topic is “Cataracts” presented by Curtis R. Brown, MD, Ophthalmologist. Seniors are invited to come and dine at LMH for $5.50 and enjoy a healthy three course meal prepared by the Unidine chefs, plus conversation with others. After the meal, there will be a short educational program on a health or wellness topic of interest to older adults. Reservations are required and must be made at least 24 hours in advance. Call 785-505-5800 or e-mail [email protected].

ART

s Tuesday Painters

Tuesdays, 9 a.m. - noon SRC, 2920 Haskell Ave, Lawrence Bring your own painting project and supplies. 785-8420543.

s Acrylic Painting

2nd & 4th Sat. each month, 9:30 a.m. - Noon. Clinton Place, 2125 Clinton Pkwy, Lawrence Fee $20 per session. Drop in sessions for beginners and experienced painters. No registration required. 785-842-0543.

Sunflower Basket Weaving Guild

VETERANS AFFAIRS

s VETERANS AFFAIRS

Pickleball – Open Play (LPRD)

Third Saturdays, June 15, Noon - 5 p.m. Eudora Community Recreation Center, 1630 Elm Street, Eudora The Sunflower Basket Weaving Guild is dedicated to the art of basket weaving while providing an outlet for making friends and sharing ideas, talents, and experiences. New weavers are welcome. Please let us know and we will make a plan to help you get started. For more information contact Emily Brown at 816-524-5755.


June 2018

Leisure and Learning Activities OSHER LIFELONG LEARNING INSTITUTE The Osher Lifelong Learning Institute is a part of KU Professional & Continuing Education. Osher is committed to creating accessible and innovative learning environments throughout Kansas and the Greater Kansas City area, with special focus on participants age 50 and over, although anyone can participate. For a full description of each class or to register, go to http://www.continuinged.ku.edu/osher/northeast.php. All courses are held at the Osher Institute, 1515 St. Andrews Dr, Lawrence, unless otherwise noted. Fees: $50 per course; income-based scholarships are available.

s Quantrill’s Raid in Fact and Film

Mondays, June 25 - July 9, 2 - 4 p.m. SRC, 2920 Haskell Ave, Lawrence Missouri bushwhacker chieftain William Clarke Quantrill and his bloody, August 1863 attack on Lawrence have inspired many filmmakers. In this course, we will thoroughly examine the man and the raid, including its causes and aftermath, while viewing the ways cinema has portrayed the event. We will view clips of the 1940 John Wayne movie “Dark Command,” as well as shorter segments from films like the 1950 Universal picture “Kansas Raiders.” We will then contrast them with the 2009 Lone Chimney documentary “Bloody Dawn” and the most realistic Hollywood Quantrill movie, Ang Lee’s 1999 “Ride with the Devil.”

The Roaring Twenties

Tuesdays, June 26 - July 10, 2 - 4 p.m. Many scholars believe modern America was born in the 1920s. This raucous era brought us modern advertising, supermarkets, buying on credit, commercial radio and flight, culture wars, short skirts, fads, voter apathy – even television. Dramatic technological and social changes clashed with conservative values. Prosperity and mass media expanded their reach to more Americans than ever before, but this was also the “Aspirin Age” – a time of anxiety about health, public morals, crime, terrorism, corruption, and race relations. This course will delve into the people and events that set the United States on a new path and continue to shape us.

Woodstock at 49

Thursday, June 28 - July 12, 2 - 4 p.m. Rock music during the 1967-69 countercultural era started with the Summer of Love and ended tragically just two years later. We will explore cultural and political events of the time from the Monterey International Pop Music Festival, through the Woodstock Music and Art Fair, and ending at the Altamont Speedway Festival. While Monterey introduced the world to many soon-to-be famous performers, Woodstock gave its name to a generation, and Altamont brought the era of love and trust to a sad end. Join the conversation as we recall this seminal time in American history.

June 2018

Osher Lifelong Learning Institute is an SRC Partner.

iPhone Photography - Beyond Point-and-Shoot

Tuesdays, July 10 - 24, 7 - 9 p.m. Go mobile with your digital photography and explore creative possibilities with your iPhone camera. We will help expand your skill set using your iPhone camera, exploring the basic operations, tools, apps and tricks to help make you smartphone camera-smart. Included will be discussions and demonstrations on how to improve your photography through creative visual devices and techniques. Please bring your iPhones so we can do some hands-on practice in class.

Writing Your Ethical Will

Wednesdays, July 11 - 25, 2 - 4 p.m. You have accumulated wealth-wealth of knowledge, experience, and values. To whom will you leave these precious possessions? Consider writing an ethical will. Unlike a traditional will that bequeaths material things, an ethical will passes on the ethics and life lessons of a family elder – YOU. Our exercises and discussion will help you discern the life experiences that shaped your values. Unlike the bequest of heirloom china or a CD, your ethical will reflects who you are as a person. It will give your loved ones a document to treasure and a reminder of how your values guided and shaped a family.

When Women Wrote Hollywood: Returning to Gender Parity

Wednesdays, July 11 - 25, 7 - 9 p.m. Prior to 1925, women wrote 50 percent of all produced films. In 2016, that percentage was 14 percent. What changed? In this course, we’ll learn about the fabulous female screenwriters of the silent era and look at the way stories and characters changed over decades. From Frances Marion, who still holds the record for Oscars, to the Golden Era with Mae West and married writing teams, to television where IF there was a woman in the room she was still called a “girl.” This course will introduce you to women in film you should know.


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Leisure and Learning Activities MORE EVENTS CHAMPSS Orientation

First Monday, June 4, 10 - 11 a.m. *NOTE AM TIME FOR JUNE ORIENTATION* Lawrence Public Library Auditorium, 707 Vermont, Lawrence Come and learn how to have access to healthy meals by attending the Jayhawk Area Agency on Aging’s CHAMPSS orientation. For questions about CHAMPSS, contact Beth Kinnan with Jayhawk Area Agency on Aging at 785-235-1367.

Senior Engagement Coordinating Council (SECC)

Third Monday, May 21, 1:00 p.m. Baldwin City Library, 800 7th St, Baldwin City The SECC is a voluntary council guided by an elected chair and co-chair, meeting on a monthly basis to work on improving quality of life for Baldwin City seniors. Contact Grant Lambert at [email protected].

Baldwin City Senior HAPPY HOUR

Thursday, June 7, 4 - 6 p.m. The Dance Café, 711 High St, Baldwin City FREE Join seniors from Baldwin City, Wellsville, and Edgerton for some snacks, fun, and live music. Alcoholic beverages available for purchase. Call 785-594-3670 to register.

Baldwin City Winefest

Third Fridays this Summer, June 15, 2018, 5 - 9 p.m. Downtown Baldwin City Lotatorium, 710 High St, Baldwin City $20 in advance, or $25 at the door The Winefest returns to Baldwin City the third Friday during Summer months, complete with wine, music, and fun! Sample wine from at least 5 local wineries, enjoy live music, and stroll the Lumberyard’s Artwalk. This is a rain or shine event. Tickets available for purchase online at www.eventbrite. com/e/baldwin-city-winefest-tickets-45977459820

s Eudora Senior Advisory Council

Second Thursday, June 14, 1 PM 738 Church St, Eudora Join the Eudora Senior Advisory Council and help shape the future of issues and services for seniors in Eudora. For more information, email [email protected].

s Eudora SHICK Counseling

By Appointment 706 Main, Eudora Counseling sessions with a certified Senior Health Insurance Counseling for Kansas (SHICK) volunteer available by appointment to review your Medicare Prescription Drug Plan coverage. Call 785-727-7872 to schedule your appointment.

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s Eudora Senior Potluck and Speaker Series

2nd Friday, June 15, 11:30 AM (eat at noon) St. Paul United Church of Christ, 738 Church St., Eudora FREE Join Eudora seniors for a gathering to include a potluck lunch and featured speaker. Bring a dish or two to share, or brown bag your own lunch. Tableware and beverages provided. Sponsored by the Senior Resource Center for Douglas County. For more information or to volunteer to help, call 785-842-0543.

Lawrence Farmer’s Market

Saturdays, 7 - 11 a.m. 824 New Hampshire St, Lawrence Since 1976, area vendors have provided the community with a wide variety of fresh vegetables, fruits, meat, eggs honey, wine, prepared foods, and much, much more. The Lawrence Farmers’ Market is a member of Double Up Food Bucks Heartland which will allow you to use funds from your SNAP Card dollars at several area farmer’s markets. Bring your SNAP EBT Card to the Lawrence Farmers’ Market Info Booth before you shop. The Info Booth is located in the middle of market, on the north-side, by the alley. Stop by every Saturday, rain or shine!

Cottin’s Farmer’s Market

Thursdays, 4 - 6 p.m. Cottin’s Hardware, 1832 Massachusetts St, Lawrence The Cottin’s Farmer’s Market is held weekly in the back lot of Cotton’s Hardware. This weekly farmer’s market includes up to 24 weekly vendors during the summer market with live music, Free State beer, and hot food. Cottin’s Farmer’s Market is a member of Double Up Food Bucks Heartland which will allow you to use funds from your SNAP Card dollars at several area farmer’s markets.

Tuesday Lawrence Farmer’s Market

Tuesdays, 4 - 6 p.m. Parking Garage, 725 Vermont, Lawrence Catch a smaller group of vendors on Tuesdays in the lower level of the Lawrence Parking Garage next to the Lawrence Public Library.

s AARP Smart Driver Safety Course

Friday July 20, 8:30 a.m. - 4 p.m. At SRC, 2920 Haskell Ave Fee $15 for AARP Members. $20 for Non-Members This hands-on course will help you refresh your driving skills, save money, and brush up on proven driving techniques to help keep you and your loved ones safe on the road. Contact Larry Woydziak at lwoydziak@YourSRC. org or call 785-727-7875 to register.


June 2018

Leisure and Learning Activities SRC SUMMER SERIES SRC presents a three part Summer Series touching on components of life planning to ensure your life is scripted the way you want, not ad libbed in crises mode. Come to one. Come to all three sessions. Call 785-842-0543 to register or pay online at www.YourSRC.org/shop.

s Helping You and Your Family Face the Tough Questions

Monday, June 13, 6:30 p.m. Pioneer Ridge, 1000 Wakarusa, Lawrence $25 Sharon Petrone from Home Instead Senior Care and Jennifer Groene, Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist, will provide insight and information on starting the conversation between aging and younger family members about how best to design senior years. Changes in housing, disposition of meaningful items, end-of-life choices, and financial and legal matters are important to everyone’s future!

June 2018

s Making Your House or Next Home Suitable for Your Older Self

Monday, June 27, 6:30 p.m. Pioneer Ridge, 1000 Wakarusa, Lawrence $25 Angie Machetta from Caring Transitions and Celsie Sneden of Neat Method will discuss the process of reducing the accumulation of a lifetime of possessions. What a gift for the family of seniors to have those decisions made and communicated now! Planning also makes the process of moving to an apartment or senior care facility much easier if that time comes.

s Avoiding Legal and Financial Pitfalls in Later Life

Monday, July 11, 6:30 p.m. Pioneer Ridge, 1000 Wakarusa, Lawrence $25 Molly Wood from Stevens and Brand, LLC, and Loren Gottschalk of Edward Jones will present for the final seminar. Molly will provide information on elder law matters, advance directives, Medicare versus Medicaid, and other legal issues. Loren will give an overview of how to plan so the money survives as long as we do!


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Leisure and Learning Activities EUDORA PARKS & RECREATION (EP&R) Eudora Parks & Recreation Department (EP&R) strives to provide parks and recreational opportunities for the community of Eudora that will enhance and promote a healthy lifestyle for all ages. EP&R gives Eudora residents and others from surrounding communities the opportunity for family oriented activities. For more information contact Eudora Parks & Recreation at 785-542-3434.

Eudora Pickleball – Open Play (EP&R)

Tuesdays and Thursdays, 9:30 - 11 a.m. Wednesdays, 6 - 8 p.m. Eudora Community Center, 1630 Elm, Eudora Join others in groups of two, three, or four for open play for some Pickleball fun.

Checkers, Chess, & Dominoes (EP&R)

Every Thursday, 1 - 2:30 p.m. Eudora Community Building, 1630 Elm St, Eudora In the mood for some board game play? Stop by for a quick game, or stay for several rounds!

Bingo (EP&R)

First Monday of the Month, June 4, 1 p.m. Eudora Community Building, 1630 Elm St, Eudora Join fellow residents for a fun round of Bingo.

LAWRENCE LIFELONG TRAVEL (LPRD) Lawrence Parks & Rec (LPRD) offers Lifelong Travel excursions, including day and regional trips, tailored for those 50 and over. Registration is required. You may register for the trip at any Lawrence recreation center, or on-line at www.lprd.org. For more information, please contact Gayle Sigurdson, Lifelong Recreation programmer, at 785-832-7909.

AMERICAN CLASSICS-HANNIBAL, MISSOURI

August 8-9, 2018 | This trip is a visit with two men who made America laugh and inspired the world. A full two days begins in Marceline, Missouri, boyhood home of Walt Disney. Stops include the Hometown Museum and farm site where Walt first began to draw his iconic images. On to Hannibal, home of legendary author Mark Twain. Stops include a Riverboat dinner cruise; Mark Twain Himself, a one man show, and the Mark Twain Museum Complex. The final stop is Chillicothe, the home of sliced bread. We’ll tour the famous murals that tell the story of this town’s rich heritage and visit the Grand River Historical society. Motorcoach travel with pick-up stops in Topeka and Lawrence. Early Bird Fee: $370/dbl and $433/ sgl. Class Code: 327874. Registration Deadline: June 18, 2018

WAY OUT WEST IN KANSAS-VICTORIA,HAYS, AND NICODEMUS

Brown Bag Lunch (EP&R)

First Wednesday, June 6, 12 - 1 p.m. Eudora Community Building, 1630 Elm St, Eudora Bring your lunch and enjoy time with fellow residents and hear a presentation by our monthly featured speaker.

EUDORA DAY TRIPS (EP&R) Come explore with fellow adults from the Eudora area. All trips depart from the Eudora Community Building, 1630 Elm St, Eudora at 9:00 a.m. All trips are limited to 10 adults. Food and other purchased items are not included in pricing. To register, call 785-542-3434 or email Gary Scott, gscott@cityofeudoraks. gov. Register early as vans fill up quickly!

Tuesday &Wednesday, October 9 & 10 Cultural, historic, and scientific wonders of Kansas are all stops on this trip west. Stops include the art deco Steifel Theatre in Salina; the Basilica of St Fidelis, known as the Cathedral of the Plains in Victoria; the national historic site of Nicodemus, oldest and only remaining Black settlement west of the Mississippi River, and the Sternberg Museum, a destination by itself. Motorcoach travel with pick-up stops in Topeka and Lawrence. Early Bird Fee: $315/dbl and $365/ sgl. Class Code: 327875. Registration Deadline: August 27, 2018

Topeka Zoo

June 20, 9:00 a.m. $15 The Topeka Zoo has been a favorite destination for kids and adults alike since the 1930s. As you enter the Zoo, your passport to adventure will take you on a journey to innovative animal exhibits – you can go on safari in Lion’s Pride and then enjoy the beautiful foliage of the tropics in the Tropical Rainforest. In all, the Topeka Zoo features more than 300 animals amidst acres of native horticulture. Trip includes admission and transportation. Lunch on your own.

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June 2018

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FIT & ACTIVE

SRC and Lawrence Habitat for Humanity Launch Exterior Home Improvement Program for Seniors By Michelle Meier, Editor

The Senior Resource Center for Douglas County (SRC) and the Lawrence Habitat for Humanity (LHfH) are joining forces for a pilot program to assist low-income seniors in Douglas County with exterior home repairs. The pilot project will serve up to four senior households between the dates of July 1 and August 31, 2018, with an intent to expand the project in future years. LHfH will provide funding for the selected projects made possible by a grant from the Douglas County Community Foundation and will oversee management of construction components of each project, including developing a scope of work with the homeowner and recruiting volunteers to work with a professional construction manager to provide labor for the project. The homeowner will be required to pay for some of the repairs, but on a sliding scale. To qualify for one of the four home exterior repair projects, applicants must meet the following criteria: • Must be age 60 or above • Must be a resident of Douglas County • Must own the home where repairs are to be made

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• Must have resided in the home for at least two years • Able to pay a portion of the repairs based on a sliding scale As with other Habitat for Humanity projects, homeowners will be required to commit to some sweat equity in the project, but according to Executive Director Erika Zimmerman of Lawrence Habitat for Humanity, “The total hours will be greatly reduced, and the tasks can include anything from greeting project volunteers or baking cookies for volunteers. If the homeowners wish to be more hands-on, we will welcome that too, but we will have some flexibility in allowing seniors to participate in the sweat equity portion of the commitment in ways that suit the participant.” Projects for the pilot program will be limited to exterior home improvement repairs, including siding, painting, windows, guttering and other exterior projects. At this time, roofing projects are not being considered. (Home Improvement, continued on pg. 21)


June 2018

CAREGIVERS CORNER

Caregiving and Guilt: A Complex Relationship By Sarah Randolph

Caregiving presents many challenges related to one’s physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. A caregiver faces living on the ragged edge from lack of sleep and constant worry that come with being a caregiver. In addition, isolation and self-neglect are often part of the caregiving journey. If that weren’t enough, after giving day in and day out, many caregivers find themselves facing the toughest part of being a caregiver: guilt. Although it is a natural feeling for caregivers, it is important to consider whether guilt is ever a good thing. As one of the most uncomfortable emotions, guilt can be useful to modify or improve behavior. It can alert us to the fact that some part of our caregiving that isn’t aligned with our personal principles. Feelings of guilt can be precursor to action. It often serves as a signal that we are considering a change, even if only subconsciously. It may also be telling us that we will not be able to maintain this level of caregiving forever and that it is time to ask for help, hire in-home care, or investigate long-term care. One may feel guilt from even considering these changes, but it is important to pay attention to these signals that the time has come to address what may become a necessary reality. While feelings of guilt can be useful at times, often they can become counter-productive and harmful. Guilt felt by caregivers can zap energy that is in short supply. Unaddressed feelings of guilt can breed resentment and reinforce anger about the caregiving situation. When left unresolved, guilt can become overwhelming and immobilizing. While many caregivers have an abundance of guilt, awareness can help to combat these natural feelings. Here are a few things to consider when facing feelings of guilt as a caregiver: 1) Choose to accept negative feelings and realize they are part of the caregiving journey. As a caregiver, you may feel irritability, desperation, and exhaustion along with other negative emotions, including guilt. This is natural and normal. 2) Caregivers often feel guilty about addressing their own needs. Treat your own physical health, as well as anxiety and depression, by seeing your doctor regularly. Make sure your doctor knows you are a caregiver. Having an individual dependent on you is stressful. Do not let their health needs overtake your own. If you aren’t healthy, their support system crumbles. 3) Caregivers should allow the individuals they are caring for to participate in their own care, even if this means that certain tasks take much longer. With creativity and reasonable expectations, everyone who contributes to their own care

June 2018

will benefit from the resulting boost in self-esteem and confidence. Even small successes will make both of you feel more hopeful and empowered. You may be surprised at how powerful allowing your loved one to participate in care can be. 4) Ask for outside help. Do not shoulder the entire burden. Call a church, service club, volunteer organization, or ask a neighbor, friend, or family member to give you a break. Do not worry about what other people think. If they have not yet been a caregiver, they will likely become one at some point. Even a 30-minute walk or nap will provide you respite and give you fresh eyes with which to see your loved one. A particularly appropriate saying comes from mindfulness practice: It is not selfish to refill your own cup so that you can pour into others. Self-care is not a luxury. It is essential. 5) Find your peers. Caregiving for a dependent person is isolating, and often well-meaning family and friends cannot truly understand what you are enduring. Support groups are a worth a try even if you have never been to one. The act of being in a room with others who are traveling a similar journey can be renewing and uplifting. Surprising to many in support groups is when there are humor-filled moments and wry observations. Allowing yourself to laugh with others at the complexity and absurdity of life is okay, and you should not feel guilty about doing so. 6) Breathe. When facing ongoing stress, we tense up without realizing it. Deep breathing can be done anytime, anywhere. Research shows deep breathing has immediate effects on your brain, heart, and immune system. Dr. Esther Sternberg, a physician specializing in stress, explains the relaxation response is controlled by the vagus nerve. “Think of a car throttling down the highway at 120 miles an hour. That’s the stress response, and the vagus nerve is the brake. When you are stressed, you have your foot on the gas, pedal to the floor. When you take slow, deep breaths, that is what is engaging the brake.” Finally, remember that regardless of your caregiving circumstances, you are giving all you can and let that be enough. Put effort into banishing non-constructive guilt feelings and remember to give yourself grace. Don’t ignore feelings of guilt that may be a signal that it is time to seek more support, and don’t let natural emotions fester into something that is counter-productive or harmful. Sarah Randolph is the Executive Director of Bridge Haven Assisted Living and Memory Care.


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NEW DAYS AHEAD

Your Community Means Your Health By Dennis Domer, PhD

As we have discussed in the last three commentaries in this column, the MacArthur Foundation defines successful aging as the ability to avoid disease, maintain physical and cognitive function, and engage with life. Of these four interdependent components, a strong connection to family; face-to-face and frequent interaction with friends, neighbors, and colleagues; and active participation in community life emerge as the most significant determinants of longevity, quality of life, and overall aging success. “People with fewer and weaker relationships have a risk of death two to four times as great, irrespective of age, race, socioeconomic status, physical health, smoking, use of alcohol, physical activity, obesity, and use of health services,” according to the MacArthur study. We human beings are social animals, and we do without each other at our peril. The high value of social connectedness relative to other indicators of longevity has been thoroughly corroborated in numerous investigations. One of the most interesting focused on Roseto, PA, which admirably demonstrates the pivotal nature of social engagement. Roseto, a town of 2,000 people whose ancestors came from southern Italy, had significantly lower heart disease, fewer heart attacks and strokes, lower blood pressure, less diabetes, less mental illness, and stronger immune responses than people who lived nearby in Bangor and Nazareth, PA. The death rate of Rosetans between 1935 and 1965 was 35% lower than expected. This astonishing difference was not due to diet or genetics. Rosetans smoked, ate fatty foods, and endured obesity. The difference was the tight social structure of the town that protected people from debilitating American influences. Rosetans were modest, hard working, and suspicious of outsiders. People stuck together in Roseto. Several generations of families often lived under one roof. People were also unified by their devout Roman Catholic beliefs. They worked together in the mines and visited each other daily just as they did in the old country. There were 22 civic organizations in their small town!

outside of Roseto, and became more secular and less community oriented. With their newfound focus on self, they were less connected to their families and old friends. They were more interested in their material wealth, which they displayed openly in contrast to their modest beginnings. With these lifestyle changes, death rates and heart attack rates rose among Rosetans to levels found previously in Bangor and Nazareth. The so-called Roseto Effect had set in, as researchers predicted it would, when the old social support structure gave way to individualism and getting ahead. It was a disaster for their longevity. For most of us, it is not desirable to age alone, disconnected and isolated from others. “Human beings were not meant to live solitary lives.” To age successfully, we all need the salutary benefit of one of the central paradoxes of happiness and living together: it is better to give than receive. Dennis Domer, PhD, retired in 2014 after 42 years of teaching, research, and service at Baker University, the University of Kentucky, and the University of Kansas. He focused on aging and architecture in his funded think tank, “New Cities,” during his last 6 years at KU. He served on the SRC board from 2012 to 2017.

Beginning in the 1970s, however, the young people of Roseto began to Americanize. They dropped their Italian heritage, left town to get educated, moved to the suburbs

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Prepare Now to Get a REAL ID By Michelle Meier, Editor

In December 2013 the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) laid out plans to implement the REAL ID Act. This is the last stage of Congress following the 9/11 Commission’s recommendation that the Federal Government create a set of standards for sources of individual identification, including drivers’ licenses. This implementation of REAL IDs is intended to increase security measures in domestic airports as well as federal buildings across the county. The initial phases included such restricted areas as the Department of Homeland Security offices, restricted areas at all federal facilities and nuclear power plants, and semi-restricted areas at certain federal facilities that provided services to citizens applying or receiving Federal benefits. The final stage is the implementation of standards regarding identification to board all federally regulated commercial aircraft. The implementation of this phase has also gone in stages to allow states time to format all drivers’ licenses and identification cards to meet REAL ID standards.

Currently, all current Kansas drivers’ licenses and identification cards are compliant with the REAL ID standards and are accepted at all federal facilities and for domestic air travel. But starting in Oct. 1, 2020, you will have to have an official REAL ID issued from the state. Kansas is currently issuing REAL IDs, so you have the option of getting your REAL ID now to be compliant in advance, or you can wait until your current ID expires. People who are getting a Kansas driver’s license for the first time are already required to bring documents to prove their lawful U.S. status and Social Security number. After October 1, 2020, you will be required to have a REAL ID for all domestic flights as well as entry to all federal facilities, which includes federal facilities, military bases and cemeteries, and nuclear power plants. Children under 18 will not need to provide identification when traveling with a companion within the United States. Here are the items you will need the next time you renew your driver’s license or state ID to be able to get a REAL ID: 1. Proof of lawful presence (Provide one of the following documents) Certified Birth Certificate Unexpired U.S. Passport Unexpired Permanent Residency Card Unexpired Employment Authorization Card Naturalization Certificate Consular Report of Birth Abroad (FS-240) 2. Proof of your social security number (Provide one of the following documents) Social Security Card Current W-2 or 1099 Current pay stub (must show full SSN)

Gold star on state issued drivers’ license or ID indicate it is a REAL ID.

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(REAL ID, continued on pg. 21)

June 2018

LEGALESE by Molly Wood, JD

Options When Facing An Overpayment from Social Security situation, the agency will recover the overpayment directly from the person’s monthly check, and the full monthly Social Security benefit will be withheld unless he negotiates a different repayment rate. Thus, promptly requesting a lower repayment rate can help avoid financial crises due to the automatic withholding.

Q: My father, who lives in California, just got a notice from the Social Security Administration that he’s received more than he was supposed to (they say he was “overpaid”). I don’t know why yet, but the letter is demanding repayment in a lump sum of over $3,000 that he doesn’t have. He only gets about $1,000 per month, and he needs that for living expenses. Can they do that? A: For low-income Social Security recipients, receiving a notice from the Social Security Administration that they have been overpaid often causes alarm, confusion, and great concern about how repayment will affect their ability to pay ordinary living expenses. Your father has three possible approaches: 1. Use the appeal process to challenge the overpayment; 2. Ask Social Security to waive the overpayment; or 3. Ask Social Security for a lower monthly repayment amount. It would be hard to appeal without professional assistance, but any legal aid society or senior service agency can provide referrals and resources to help. While you are seeking assistance, it may make sense to file an appeal (the notice tells you how) so that Social Security can explain the reason for the overpayment claim.

Look for Form 632 on the Social Security Administration website (www.ssa.gov) to request a lower repayment rate. Because the agency uses the financial information on Form 632 in determining a repayment rate, it is important to account for all expenses on the form to ensure that your father can retain as much of his monthly benefit as possible. Expenses include regular monthly costs such as rent, utilities, food, and gas or public transit passes, as well as costs that can occur on a less frequent basis, such as car insurance, property taxes, toiletries, clothing, and medical expenses. Your father can expect Social Security to negotiate a repayment rate that will allow recovery of all outstanding amounts within 12 months, or at the most within 36 months. However, if the financial information on Form 632 indicates that he cannot afford that repayment rate without financial hardship, then the monthly amount will be limited to the difference between his income and expenses. Whatever you decide, don’t choose to do nothing. If your father can’t act for himself, there’s a Social Security form he can sign (Form 1696) to appoint someone else (including you) as his representative to help. Good luck. Molly M. Wood is a partner at Stevens & Brand, LLP, in Lawrence, Kansas, where she confines her practice to Elder Law, especially seniors with long-term care issues. If you have a legal question or concern, call the Kansas Elder Law Hotline, a toll-free legal advice and referral service for Kansas Seniors, 888-353-5337. An Elder Law Project attorney is available in Lawrence at no charge by appointment at Senior Resource Center for Douglas County, 785-842-0543.

Asking for a waiver, essentially agreeing that he received too much, but making the case that the agency should let it go is also hard to do, even with professional assistance. Social Security is permitted to waive the overpayment only when you prove two things: It wasn’t your father’s fault that he received too much AND he doesn’t have, and will never have, the ability to repay the amount. If your father has any savings at all – even the amount he puts away to pay his property taxes each year – he has at least the partial ability to repay the overpayment. A reasonable payment plan can ensure that people currently receiving Social Security continue to receive enough of their monthly benefit to meet basic needs. In your father’s

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SENIOR ROMANCE, SEX, & RELATIONSHIPS: ADVICE FOR GROWN-UPS

May - December Romance Q: I am a 74-year-old man in good health who has developed a romantic relationship with a 46-year-old woman. We frequently get kidded about our May-December romance. What should we consider about our age differences that might matter in the years to come? A: Congratulations on finding love! Humans thrive in positive relationships and are happier in their older years if they have someone with whom to share life’s ups and downs. For most of our lives, age differences don’t really matter much. Sure, we may relate to different eras of music, but no couple is completely compatible. We all must allow for individual differences and respect them in our partners. The issues that may arise as you age are going to present challenges, though, and you are wise to ask about them now. Time will take a toll on your body. Eventually, whether in five years or in 20 years, you will face a life-altering event or diagnosis that makes you more dependent. In this current phase of new love, your lady friend may have a Pollyanna attitude that she can handle whatever comes and that love will triumph. Let’s hope so, but some objective, frank discussions need to address such questions as: • Will she continue working when someone needs to be with you all day every day? Regardless of the answer, you need to have the finances ready to get by without her job or to hire in-home care. • If you should need to be placed in a long-term care facility, will her savings have to be depleted before you can qualify for Medicaid? (Medicare won’t pay for long-term care.) Perhaps you should purchase insurance for such a possibility. Consult with an elder law attorney for guidance. • When you reach the point when you can no longer go to as many events, will you be comfortable with her going alone or with a friend? She may feel guilty for doing so, and you may

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feel resentment if she goes. She needs to have your permission to continue to live her life. • If you rewrite your will to include her, what effect will this have on your children? If you need a third party to address uncomfortable issues such as these, a session or two with a family counselor can help tremendously. • Whom will you designate as your Power of Attorney agent? What assurances can you put in place that all persons who care about you have input into important decisions? Growing older will directly affect your relationship because illness and aging will require adaptation by you both. One of the comforting facts about growing old with someone near the same age is seeing each other develop wrinkles and sagging skin, managing urinary and bowel challenges, solving sexual issues, and so forth. Couples near the same age are in the same boat and rowing in the same direction. A younger person may be comfortable with these realities, and the older partner may feel self-conscious and fear losing the love relationship. Again, a frank discussion in advance will help prevent serious problems later. Love and companionship are worth the effort it takes to address these and other issues. Take a chance. Ignore the May-December comments from others. Think up a snappy comeback, such as, “I can’t help it if women find me attractive!” Send your questions to [email protected]. Names and identifying information will be removed. Questions may be edited. Answers are written by qualified licensed/certified health care professionals. Answers cannot be personalized for individuals and are intended for general information only.


June 2018

Lew Llewellyn

(continued from page 1)

Lew in a way that no other Haskell employee had been before or since, with a powwow at which he was presented an Indian blanket that has beautified his home ever since. His first AllAmerican athlete from Haskell still writes to Lew regularly, and his touching gift sent for Lew’s 90th birthday brought many tears. Too young to retire, Lew took on the real estate business for 12 years, working for Dick Edmondson Real Estate during the Alvamar development era. Lew earned free golf at the Alvamar Country Club and the Orchards Golf Course by serving as Marshall, and still plays most Tuesdays with a group of his friends. At 90 years of age, Lew looks back on his life with great satisfaction. He loved his students at Haskell and cherishes his years there. His only regret in life, he says, is that he didn’t become a physician. He believes his love of science and human biology, combined with his talent as a “people person,” would have given him much fulfillment in the medical field. His five children and many grandchildren have become community leaders across Kansas and beyond. Son Matt Llewellyn is the managing partner of the 23rd Street Brewery, a known philanthropist, and one of the voices for the Lawrence High Lions football games and other shows on KLWN. Daughter Amy Llewellyn Wilson is an agent for Stephens Real Estate and renowned hostess. Daughter Beth Llewellyn, a hospital administrator and recent CEO of Health Care Access, now serves as a consultant. Son Herb Llewellyn has been a city manager in three states and recently retired after a decade in that role for El Dorado, KS. Daughter Sally Llewellyn Kirkpatrick describes herself as a retired housewife who follows her FBI husband throughout the nation. Congratulations, Lew! We’re eager to see what you do next and look forward to your 100th birthday party!

Security Tips


If you will be out-of-town, you may want to consider contacting local law enforcement to request a property check. Residents living in the county can contact the Douglas County Sheriff’s Office at 785-841-0007. Residents living inside the Lawrence city limits should contact the Lawrence Police Department at 785-832-7509 (non-emergency line) or online at https:// lawrenceks.org/police/property-checks/. I wish you a fun and a safe summer! If you have any questions or concerns for my Consumer Protection Unit, please call 785330-2849 or email [email protected]. We are always ready to serve all the citizens of Douglas County. This article is not intended to provide legal advice. Legal advice can only be provided in an attorney-client relationship. This information must not be relied on as a substitute for obtaining legal advice from a licensed attorney.

Home Improvement


If you are needing assistance with exterior home repairs and want to apply to be a part of this pilot program, please contact Jerry Guffey at the Senior Resource Center at 785842-0543 to set an appointment to discuss your home exterior repair needs to be considered for the four sites for this pilot program. The deadline for consideration is June 29, 2018, with projects starting the first weeks of July.

REAL ID


3. Proof of Kansas residency (Provide one of the following documents dated within the last 60 days) Current Driver’s License Renewal Postcard Vehicle Registration Utility Bill (Junk mail or personal letters will not be accepted.) 4. If your name has changed from what is listed on your ID or is not the same on all of your documents due to marriage, divorce, adoption, etc., you must provide proof of the name change. (Provide one of the following documents) Certified Marriage License Divorce Decree Legal adoption paperwork Any court ordered or legal name change documents For a complete list of accepted documentation for the state of Kansas, go to www.kdor.org/county/ctl/DCInfo/de56a.pdf. For more information about securing a REAL ID in Kansas, go to www.ksrevenue.org/dovrealid.html.

Lou Llewellyn and his five children (from left) Sally, Amy, Matt, Herb and Beth

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1510 St Andrews Dr Lawrence, KS 66047 785-841-6845 www.arborcourt-lawrence.com

Studios start at $1,525 per month including meals, utilities, housekeeping, & transportation.

Call to join us for lunch and a tour. We have the best meals and desserts around!

“Isn’t it time that you started living your retirement?”

Your Life ~ Your Style ~ Your Home

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June 2018

You’re Getting a New Medicare Card! For your security, your Medicare ID number will no longer be your Social Security number. Kansas residents should start receiving the new Medicare cards after June 2018. Make sure your mailing address is up-to-date to avoid delays in getting your new card.

To update your mailing address, visit ssa.gov/myaccount or call 800-722-1213.

Affordable Living for Independent Seniors

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Prairie Commons Apartments 5121 Congressional Circle, Lawrence, KS 66049 Call Sheri today to set up a personal tour. 785-843-1700  www.liveatprairiecommons.com

June 2018


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745 Vermont Lawrence, KS 66044

Extra Help for Prescription Coverage & Medicare Savings Programs If you have limited income and resources, you may qualify for subsidies and Medical Savings Programs to help offset some of the cost of your prescription drugs and premium costs.

For information or to schedule a free consultation with a SHICK counselor, call 785-842-0543. This service is provided in part by a grant from the Medicare Improvements for Patients and Providers Act (MIPPA) as administered through the Kansas Department for Aging and Disability Services (KDADS).

785-842-0543 y www.YourSRC.org