That's What Ygritte Said

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and a dead corpse was reanimated from long distance before (S1E8). 2. He could warg into ... behind me with a bell for t
June 21, 2015

That’s What Ygritte Said A weekly Game of Thrones newsletter by Sam Ryu

MOTHER’S MERCY - SEASON 5, EPISODE 10 Sigh. It’s over already. Season 5 featured some of the best this TV show has to offer (massacre at Hardhome) and also some of the worst (“You want a good girl but you need the bad pussy.” WHAT?). It turned previously flat characters (Jon, Stannis) into season MVPs and gave further depth to other characters (Cersei, Arya) who were already fully realized. It shamefully underused essential supporting characters (Margaery, Littlefinger, Davos,) and continued in the tradition of having one really inexcusably bad storyline (everything in Dorne). And to paraphrase Illyrio telling Daenerys about Dothraki weddings (S1E1): a Game of Thrones season finale without at least three deaths is considered a dull affair. This was not a dull affair (to say the least) and there’s a lot to wrap up this episode/season, so let’s jump into it à la Sansa and Theon.

June 21, 2015

Dead or Alive? Stannis Baratheon

Why Dead: Because anyone who burns his own daughter for a promised victory deserves it. Brienne finally gets to avenge her beloved King Renly. Also, basic film grammar. Showing someone about to kill someone then match cutting to someone else killing someone strongly implies that the same action is being carried throughout both scenes. Why Alive: The moral fiber of this show is more complicated than that. It’s hard to see Stannis’s story arc being over after such a clear-cut mistake leading to a fatal consequence. If Stannis is dead, it would mean the end of House Baratheon. This means Gendry would be the only one left with true Baratheon blood. Brienne also might let one vow go (to protect/avenge Renly) in order to keep another (she might need Stannis’s help to save Sansa). Or the Wall might need him. My Verdict: Alive. Willing to bet three babies in a jar—or: 60% confident.

June 21, 2015

Dead or Alive? Sansa Stark and Theon Greyjoy Why Dead: Both are severely tormented characters at this point—suicide might seem more appealing than going back to Ramsay. High fall. Why Alive: Weather reports from Winterfell show heavy snowfall over the past couple weeks. Mix that with the Lord of Light melting some of the cold away (shout out to Shireen’s blood) and you get fluffy snow! Podrick (missing from battle) might be looking for Sansa. Does she go back to the Vale and wait for Littlefinger? Or do they go back to the Greyjoy home in the Iron Islands? Maybe the torture cycle continues after Ramsay catches them trying to escape again. Theon’s redemption isn’t complete and Sansa is a Stark, so there’s that too. My Verdict: Alive. Betting Theon’s dick in a box—or: 95% confident. Dead or Alive? Arya Stark

(Substituting “dead” with “blind” and “alive” with “not blind” for this one.)

June 21, 2015

Why Dead: She/Jaqen/No One drank the poison. The Many-Faced God needs to teach her a lesson. Poetic justice considering the first thing she did to Meryn Trant was stab both his eyes out. Why Alive: Might be tough love/a lesson learned the hard way type of training for Arya by the Faceless Men. They see potential in her but she is still very much “Arya Stark” and not “No One.” My Verdict: Blind for four episodes. Betting half of my OYSTERS, CLAMS, AND COCKLES!!!—or: 50% confident. Intermission: Closeups from “I Dreamed a Dream”

Dead or Alive? Myrcella “Baratheon” Why Dead: Because anytime a character has a tender, heart-warming moment with another character, he or she is most likely going to die in the next ten minutes. Oberyn’s kids know their poisons. Remember the forest witch’s prophecy about Cersei’s three kids dying (S5E1)? Why Alive: Prince Trystane Martell (Oberyn’s nephew) is on board and might have an antidote. Well, he better pray he does because otherwise Jaime might kill him out of newly-acknowledged fatherly duty/rage (making him both the Kingslayer and the Princeslayer). My Verdict: Dead. Good girl, but does she have... nevermind—or: 90% confident.

June 21, 2015

Dead or Alive? Jon Snow

Why Dead: He knows nothing. Why Alive: 1. He could come back as a wight or maybe even a White Walker somehow. The White Walker leader (aka Ser Cokenails) definitely showed an interest in Jon and his abilities at Hardhome. He also might have a soft spot as a former Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch (rumored). They just kind of left Jon’s body out in the cold and a dead corpse was reanimated from long distance before (S1E8). 2. He could warg into his direwolf named... wait for it... Ghost! Bran didn’t know he was a warg until he fell into coma/got paralyzed. Maybe Jon’s traumatic event of getting Caesared (Et tu, Olly?) causes his dormant warging powers to kick in. Long shot. 3. He could get revived by the Lord of Light. Ever since Melisandre arrived at Castle Black (S4E10), she’s been eyeing Jon Snow—

June 21, 2015

through the fire, in the Wall elevator—and then made moves on him in his office. It’s convenient that she arrives at Castle Black right before Jon gets murdered. We saw Thoros of Myr (a red priest) resurrect his buddy Beric Dondarrion after Beric got cut in half by the Hound (while Arya was watching) in the cave during trial by combat (S3E5). Thoros has resurrected Beric six times—Beric says he comes back weaker each time, so Jon might not be the same if he does come back. When Melisandre finds this out, she is shocked. Her magical-ability stock has taken quite a huge hit after not delivering on Shireen’s blood, but maybe she can bring Jon back. An opportune moment would be when the Night’s Watch burn his body. My Verdict: Dead for now. Will come alive in one of the forms mentioned above (or a combination of them). I know nothing—or: 72.9% confident. Loose Ends - Showing Syrio and Benjen in the Previously On segment was a great fakeout. - Podrick knows his flags. Good callback to his time with Tyrion (S4E1). - That shot of dead bodies/horses after the battle at Winterfell. Better burn them! - Was Sansa/Theon’s jump more Thelma/Louise or Butch Cassidy/Sundance Kid? - Any significance from Melisandre telling Arya about shutting eyes (S3E6)? - Where is Daenerys? Vaes Dothrak? Does she know the khalasar that finds her? This might be the last newsletter I write for That’s What Ygritte Said. It’s been a huge time commitment, that is becoming more and more difficult to justify. So unless HBO comes knocking or $ome generou$ benefactor$ want to make a Godfather offer, this is the end. I’m not doing a Kickstarter or anything because it’s really not about the money. It’s about the time. If you are inclined to walk behind me with a bell for the next week, yelling “SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!” I won’t hold it against you. It’s been an absolute pleasure. Valar Dohaeris. To join the weekly newsletter mailing list, send an email to [email protected]