That's What Ygritte Said

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identity as Theon Greyjoy—a ward of Winterfell (where he grew up)—and also because the last time he was in Winterfel
May 3, 2015

That’s What Ygritte Said A weekly Game of Thrones newsletter by Sam Ryu

HIGH SPARROW - SEASON 5, EPISODE 3 Though Margaery finally bedded a king and threw some fantastic verbal barbs at soon-to-be Queen Grandmother Cersei, and Brienne and others had some great moments, this episode belonged to the three eldest living Starks—Jon, Sansa, and Arya. All three were at crucial forks in the road in regards to both their future and their identities as Starks. Jon Snow—a Stark in every sense but the formal name —refused to become legitimized as Jon Stark, mostly because of his vow to the Night’s Watch. Ironic because the thing that makes him such a Stark (his firm sense of duty and honor) is the thing keeping him from becoming a Stark. Sansa has been running away from her identity as a Stark, but now must reclaim it both for herself and her family (“The North remembers.”). Arya is given the opportunity to become “no one” but can’t find it in herself to fully give in to the

May 3, 2015

Faceless Men. She can give up her material possessions and her name, but she can’t let go of the last connection she has to her family: Needle—the sword Jon gifts her before she leaves for King’s Landing and before he leaves for the Wall (S1E2). No matter how much she tells Jaqen or mean-girl-with-a-stick that she is “no one,” she is a Stark deep down to the core and that’s something she cant lose. Winterfell Party Ain’t no party like a Winterfell party because everyone will be in Winterfell soon and it’s going to be insane. The Boltons are getting cozy and redecorating Winterfell with new walls and flayed bodies. Sansa is now betrothed to psycho Ramsay Bolton. Littlefinger is trading Raven DMs with Cersei (still). Stannis plans to retake the North and attack Winterfell soon. Brienne knew Sansa was headed toward Winterfell and also want’s to kill Stannis for killing Renly. And if that wasn’t enough drama in Winterfell already, we see Myranda give Sansa the stink eye when Ramsay kisses her hand. Myranda is Ramsay’s kinky sex buddy who sexually tortured Theon (S3E7) and hunted another poor girl for sport with Ramsay, Theon, and their dogs (S4E2).

Myranda’s stink eye, S5E3

This return to Winterfell for Sansa has some interesting parallels. The last time a host of VIPs came to town, Sansa was on Hunting with Ramsay, S4E2 the other side of the greeting party, welcoming Robert Baratheon, Cersei, and Joffrey (S1E1). Reek is seriously bugging out every time Sansa walks by because it reminds him of his true identity as Theon Greyjoy—a ward of Winterfell (where he grew up)—and also because the last time he was in Winterfell, he burned two farmer boys and lied to everyone by saying that the hanging charred bodies were Bran and Rickon Stark.

May 3, 2015

Take Me to Church Let’s do a quick religious refresh on the faiths that were shown in this episode only: the Faith of the Seven, the Many-Faced God, and the Lord of Light. The Faith of the Seven (or the New Gods) is the most prominent religion in Westeros and is roughly the equivalent of medieval Catholicism—but with seven parts of the same god, instead of the Holy Trinity (three parts of the same god). The High Septon is like the pope, which is why it’s such a big deal when High Septon Mutton Chops is caught in a brothel doing some weird sex fantasy shit with the prostitutes role-playing each of the seven gods. The High Sparrow (the souppouring, shoe-not-wearing leader of the Sparrows) doesn’t have the official authority that the High Septon does, but is like the poor people’s pope. The Sparrows might be extreme but they are devoted to and serve the Seven as well. The Many-Faced God (or the God of Death) is who the Faceless Men serve. I’m sure we’ll learn more, but it seems like they believe that all of these gods serve the God of Death. You see symbolic elements of all the different religions within the House of Black and White, where Arya is currently sweeping/serving. Lastly, the Lord of Light (or the Red God) is who Stannis adopted as his faith because of the Red Priestess Melisandre. In addition to having an affinity for burning people alive, we have seen followers of the Red God perform some crazy magic. Melisandre, most notably, uses royal blood to create smoke assassins and penis leeches used to kill people. We’ve also seen Thoros of Myr (a Red Priest currently with the Brotherhood Without Banners) bring Beric Dondarrion from the dead after the Hound killed him in a trial by combat. We meet another Red Priestess during Tyrion and Varys’s travels to Volantis. Conspiracy Theory of the Week When Tyrion listens to the Red Priestess preach in Volantis, she says that the Red God’s chosen savior is the Dragon Queen. This is strange because in previous seasons, Melisandre has told Stannis that the Lord of Light has chosen him to be

May 3, 2015

the savior. Melisandre has admitted that while the Lord of Light is real, a lot of the mysticism is smoke and mirrors. Is this another form of manipulation? Is each Red Priest/Priestess assigned to a powerful leader who they need to control and tell them what they need to hear so each believe that he/she is the chosen one of the Red God? For example, we learned in S3 that Thoros was tasked to convert Robert Baratheon to the Lord of Light, but failed. Smells fishy. Boyz II Men: Lord Commander Jon Snow

Pouty-face Jon Snow has come a long way. Not only is he the newly-elected Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, but he is showing some serious leadership chops. Ned tells his son, “The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword” (S1E1)—a code that we see echoed throughout the series. Joffrey orders the execution of Ned, but has Ilyn Payne do the dirty work for him (S1E9). When Theon captures Winterfell, he terribly botches the beheading of Ser Rodrik Cassel and needs multiple hacks and a kick to finish (S2E6). Robb loses a lot of the Northern army for upholding justice and executing his bannerman Lord Karstark (S3E5) and ultimately loses the war and his own head.

May 3, 2015

Which brings us back to Jon—who couldn’t find it in himself to behead Ygritte when they first met (S2E6). Lord Janos Slynt undermines Jon’s authority and calls him “boy” (the same thing the Northern lords called Robb before he earned their respect). Janos’s beheading is not only a statement execution, but also a small form of cosmic revenge for Janos’s involvement in the capture and death of Ned Stark. During his stint as Lord Commander of the Citywatch of King’s Landing, Lord Janos didn’t just massacre a bunch of infants because King Joffrey wanted any suspected bastard of Robert Baratheon dead, he also tricked Ned into thinking that he and the Citywatch supported him, before he revealed that he was in the Lannisters’ pockets and murdered Ned Stark’s men. Jon gets a slight nodding approval and some respect from Stannis, even though Stannis is still pissed that Jon won’t become a Stark and help him retake the North. But what happens when Jon finds out his sister Sansa is back in Winterfell and about to marry the Boltons that everyone in the North despises? Loose Ends - Shortest wedding/longest bedding ceremony ever. Congrats, Queen Margaery! - Karate Kid training montage of Brienne teaching Podrick please? - “Cunt!” -Arya - Qyburn makes a similar “my name doesn’t matter” joke as Bronn’s (S1E9). - Speaking of Qyburn, that moving “friend” under the sheets on his operating table is ostensibly the Mountain x Frankenstein experiment. - Stannis and Littlefinger both bring up Ned to make their respective points. - Second week in a row where the Greyscale disease is mentioned. Hmmm. - Brothel Mother of Dragons costume inspired by Comic-Con cosplay, probably. - First East Asian actor on the show! - Jorah is taking Tyrion to “the Queen”—but which one? - Look out for Koushaw. We haven’t seen him yet but he might do crazy shit. To join the weekly newsletter mailing list, send an email to [email protected]