Understanding Conflict in the Workplace

Leadership Success Circle Preview Call #1

Understanding Conflict in the Workplace Greetings and welcome to everyone who has called in this morning from all across the United States. As of the last count we had 23 states represented, so we are a far reaching group this morning. This is Teresa Gilbert, calling in from Illinois, and we basically have two objectives for our brief time this morning: 1) to explore the topic of Understanding Conflict in the Workplace, and 2) to tell you about the Leadership Success Circle we will be launching soon, where we will explore many more topics like this one. What we experience on this call will be a sample of how Leadership Success Circle will work. So we’ll talk a little more about that, and I’ll tell you how you can save some money on your registration just by being on this call – so grab a pen or pencil if you don’t have one so you can capture some information. Just so you know in advance, this call is being recorded and you will receive an email with information on how to access the recording, and you will also receive a link to print off the manuscript of everything I’m saying, if you would rather have that to read instead of listen to the recording. Some of us are audio learners, some visual learners, so we want to provide a variety of venues for you.

[email protected] www.teresagilbert.com © Pathways to Excellence 2012

You should have received a handout in advance that was sent to your email – we call these tip sheets – and when you join Leadership Success Circle you will receive a tip sheet prior to each call, similar to this one. This will be a valuable resource just for you, but even more than that, it can be used if you supervise other staff that you need to provide training and coaching for, in small increments. So we’ll talk a little about that in just a few minutes, too. You all have told me that finding the time to invest in good leadership training for yourself is very challenging. You’re busy taking care of the people you lead – and you put yourself last. I’ve been in your shoes, and I know exactly what you mean. So everything we do in Leadership Success Circle we try to do in such a way that it is not time-consuming for you, but that you can spend just a few minutes and walk away with something valuable; something you can apply in your own workplace that makes a positive difference. My hope is that even in this preview call, you will find something helpful, and it will only take us just a few minutes. You should also have received a handout that outlines all that is included in Leadership Success Circle, so that will be helpful as we talk more about that as well. One of the benefits of Leadership Success Circle is you can email any questions or comments you have about the presentation, and we will compile them, give our responses and then email all questions and responses back to all participants. So I want to let you do that on this preview call as well. So as we move through our Page 1 of 10

discussion about the causes for conflict, I invite you to jot down your thoughts as we go along, so you won’t forget them – and email any questions you have as soon as the presentation is done. We will compile them tomorrow and send those back out to all of you who registered. So let’s jump right in with our topic of this call, and that’s understanding conflict in the workplace. Conflict is multi-faceted, and certainly discussing everything around this can’t be done in a single, short teleconference such as this one. But there are three main components to conflict in the workplace: 1. Understanding the causes of it 2. Learning good prevention strategies 3. Mastering good resolution skills

My premise is that the first of these three is the most important, and that’s what we’re going to focus on in the time we have together on this call. If you don’t understand what causes conflict, then you won’t be able to learn how to prevent it. And even if your resolution skills are outstanding, if you don’t understand it and learn to prevent it, then you’re going to be spending all your time in conflict resolution, instead of being productive doing the actual responsibilities of your job position. Often we think that conflict is caused only by people who are difficult. And certainly there are a few people in our lives who seem to just create conflict wherever they go. But I think that’s the exception to the rule. Most often it’s situations that create conflict – not just people deliberately being difficult. Dealing with Difficult People is a different topic actually – and one that we will most likely talk about at some point in Leadership Success Circle if the group so desires. But today we will look at other causes of conflict. I’ve put the causes into seven different categories – you should have these categories listed on your tip sheet, so I encourage you to follow along and make some notes for each one if it’s helpful for you.

Cause #1. Conflicting Needs and Goals [email protected] www.teresagilbert.com © Pathways to Excellence 2012

Whenever workers compete for scarce resources, recognition, and power in the company's “pecking order”, conflict can occur. Since everyone requires a share of the resources (office space, supplies, the boss's time, or the budget fund) to complete their jobs , it should come as no surprise when the “have-nots” gripe and plot against the “haves” .

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Brett Hart, a professional in workplace conflict, offers an example. Imagine a bank teller's dilemma in a situation where he is being given conflicting responsibilities by two of his managers. The head teller has instructed the staff that rapid service is the top priority, whereas the community relations director has instructed the staff that quality customer service is the top priority. One can imagine how quickly problems could arise between the teller and the head teller if speed is sacrificed for quality time with the customer.

Cause #2. Conflicting Styles/Personalities and Values Individuals differ in the way they approach people and problems. Staff and teams need to understand their own style and learn how to accept conflicting styles, those different from their own. Personality tests can often help people explore their instinctive personality styles. An example of conflicting styles would be where one worker works best in a very structured environment while another worker works best in an unstructured environment. These two workers could easily drive each other crazy if they constantly work in conflict with one another and do not learn to accept one another's work style. This is a topic we will work with specifically in Leadership Success Circle.

Cause # 3. Conflicting Perceptions Just as two or more workers can have conflicting styles, they can also have conflicting perceptions. They may view the same incident in dramatically different ways. Take the example of what might happen if a new assistant was hired in the organization. One staff person might see the new hire as an advantage (one more set of hands to get the job done), while another one might see the same new hire as an insult (a clear message that the current staff is not performing adequately). Memos, performance reviews, company rumors, hallway comments, and client feedback are sources for conflicting perceptions. What was meant gets lost in a firestorm of responses to perceived wrongs. Resentment and conflict can also occur when one department is viewed as more valuable to the organization than others

Cause #4. Conflicting Pressures [email protected] www.teresagilbert.com © Pathways to Excellence 2012

Conflicting pressures can occur when two or more staff persons or departments are responsible for separate actions with the same deadline. For example, Manager A needs Associate A to complete a report by 3:00 p.m., which is the same deadline that Associate B needs Associate A to have a machine fixed. In addition, Manager B (who does not know the machine is broken) now wants Associate B to use the unbeknownst broken machine before 3:00 p.m. What is the best solution? The extent to which we Page 3 of 10

depend on each other to complete our work can contribute greatly to conflict (Hart, 2002).

Cause 5. Unpredictable Policies Whenever company policies are changed, inconsistently applied, or non-existent, misunderstandings are likely to occur. Associates need to know and understand company rules and policies; they should not have to guess. Otherwise, unpredictable things can occur such as associates dressing inappropriately or giving out wrong information. The absence of clear policies or policies that are constantly changing can create an environment of uncertainty and conflict (Hart, 2002).

Cause 6. Cooperation vs. Competition Too often an organization claims to work cooperatively, where teamwork is rewarded. But consider the company that touts its commitment to cooperation but annually awards a free trip to the employee with the highest sales. Why would staff want to work together as a team and help each other? The company has set up a competitive workplace while promoting that everyone work cooperatively.

Cause 7. Generational Differences Have you heard the statement in your workplace ‘the younger generations have no work ethic?’ Or maybe you’ve heard, from the younger workers, ‘senior management is still living in the dark ages.’ In virtually every workplace across the nation, there is conflict happening between the older and younger workers. For the first time in history, we have four distinct generations in the workplace; the baby boomers, for the most part, are the senior managers, and the boomers do not get along well with the two generations following them. In the Leadership Success Circle, we will delve into specifics of the characteristics of the four different generations, the differences in how each generation approaches work, and how we can build bridges of cooperation and mentoring between the generations.


There are certainly other causes of conflict in the workplace, but these seven categories capture most of them. You may have some that are unique to your organization as well. When you want to take serious steps within your organization to begin to reduce workplace conflict, this is where you need to begin; to understand the causes. Here in this teleconference we have just enough time to list them, and give a brief definition of each. The next step is to unpack each one of these; some will not take a lot of time to look more closely at and understand. Others will take more time – such as understanding personality differences, and understanding the generational conflict. But as you begin to understand each category of conflict, and learn how Page 4 of 10

conflict is generated within that category, then you can begin to take steps to learn how to prevent some conflict from happening. For example, when you understand the issues around personality differences – you will know that an extroverted, talkative, active people-person that is assigned to a job that requires doing data-entry all day long, and works in a cubicle by herself will not do effective work; and she will most likely be disruptive to other staff, because she craves being able to talk to people. She is not skilled in detailed work that is routine and mundane. It’s simply not a good fit. Knowing that, you, as her supervisor, can make different decisions. Perhaps you will make the decision not to hire that kind of personality at all for such a position. Or if she’s already in that role when you become her supervisor, perhaps you can find ways to break up her day; intersperse other duties that require her to work with people, instead of working alone all the time. Or put her in an open office where staff can work but also interact with others at the same time. Only other extroverted people! This is just an example of some preventive work you can do when you recognize a situation that will potentially cause conflict at some point. There will be many preventive measures you can take in each of the categories. By becoming highly skilled in conflict prevention, you simply don’t have to deal with it as much. However, some conflict will always be a part of any workplace. Given that, the third important leadership skill involving conflict is resolution. There are resolution strategies that are highly effective, and these are skills that can be learned. In Leadership Success Circle, we will work more with all three of these; understanding, preventing and resolving. Just a note that I want to mention here, and that is that not all conflict is bad. Every organization needs to operate with a level of tension or conflict that is healthy. If there is none at all, either nothing is happening within the organization, or there is no diversity present, so everyone making decisions is thinking alike. Neither of these things is healthy. Every organization needs a level of diversity, so as to bring different skills, ideas and experiences to the table. And with diversity comes conflict. In Leadership Success Circle, we will talk about the different levels of conflict, which ones are healthy and which levels are unhealthy – and the characteristics of those – as well as strategies to move from unhealthy back to healthy levels of conflict. [email protected] www.teresagilbert.com © Pathways to Excellence 2012

So– I want to do the same thing on this preview call that I will do at the end of each call in Leadership Success Circle – so here’s the first thing: 

I’d like you to take a look at your tip sheet, and the notes you’ve made on it. Just glance through it even as I’m talking, and just circle something that stands out to you - that is what I call a ‘nugget’ – maybe it’s something that you weren’t aware of; or something you knew but you’ve gained a different Page 5 of 10

perspective on during this call; maybe it’s an example that’s just ‘right on’ to a situation you’re dealing with. Or maybe it’s something you’d like to learn more about. Take just a moment and circle something on your tip sheet. 

And then I’d like you to jot a quick answer to the questions at the bottom of your tip sheet, just as soon as this call is finished, so you won’t forget – you notice they simply say:

One thing I want to work on, learn more about, or consider implementing is: _________________________________________________________ My first step to do that is: _________________________________________________________ This just gives you the opportunity to think about a specific action step. I encourage you to keep this somewhere where you will see it often for the next few days. Your tip sheet can now become a two-fold resource for you. You can refer back to it yourself, and you can also use it in a team meeting, or staff retreat to conduct a very short leadership training of your own on understanding causes of conflict. It can be a discussion starter, to have your team talk specifically about one or more of the categories, and discuss where you experience conflict the most, and which category most of your conflict falls into. That will help you strategize for some conflict prevention in the future, and in LSC we will cover some specific prevention strategies. Many of you have mentioned to me that you need leadership insights and training in very short sound bites – almost something where you can “grow on the go” so to speak. Your schedule is very busy, and yet you want suggestions and strategies to help with your leadership challenges. My hope is that with just one 30 minute call per month – plus the opportunity to email questions after the call and receive answers – and a membership resource library that we will be adding things to every month – that you can invest very little time but receive very valuable tools to help you with your leadership challenges. You will have the opportunity, if you so desire, to network with other LSC members, and you may choose to invest in optional one-on-one leadership coaching with me over the phone. [email protected] www.teresagilbert.com © Pathways to Excellence 2012

So what is Leadership Success Circle? You should have received a handout that gives detailed information about it, but to touch on the highlights – Leadership Success Circle is designed to provide support to you as a leader – most likely as a leader that experiences loneliness, because leadership can sure be lonely. I have worked to put together what I wish I’d had when I was working in your shoes – Page 6 of 10

something that would help me connect with other leaders, provide support in building my own leadership skills, offer tools and resources that I could have at my fingertips to help staff I was responsible for become better leaders, and do all this with a minimal amount of my time and money, because I didn’t have a lot of either one! So that all sounds almost impossible, but it’s what I needed, so it’s what I’ve worked hard to put together for you. If you have your handout in front of you, feel free to follow along with me. Here’s a quick look at what Leadership Success Circle includes: One 30 minute call per month on a key leadership topic such as the one we had today. Some other scheduled topics include working with multiple generations, and the challenges of the older versus the younger workers; working with diverse personalities; how to conduct good staff evaluations; leading effective staff meetings – topics that will give you strategies, best practices and support in very short sessions – the survey that many of you sent back to me said keep the call short, so it would be doable in an average work day. Recorded version of the live call …So you will have all information in case you have to miss the call Written manuscript of the call …so you can have access to read the information instead of listen to it. Some of you don’t have time to listen to a recording, but if you spend time on a plane or in a waiting mode for other reasons, you would rather have something you could quickly read Tip sheet highlighting key points of topic …So you can use as guide to mentor/coach your own staff (emailed in advance of the call) – many of you said you need something that is already put together, that you can take to a staff meeting or other regular meetings with staff, and use it for a quick training with them on our topic of the month. Today’s tip sheet is a start – as we get going with Leadership Success Circle, I will ask you to give me input on how we can improve this for you. I want Leadership Success Circle to be designed to meet your needs – so it will evolve as we go, as you share with me ways to meet your needs better.


Email follow-up questions on topic of the month …So you can get your individual questions answered. It would be too time-consuming to take live questions on the calls, and still keep them short for everyone. So after each call, you can email your questions, concerns and suggestions; we will compile all of these and send back to everyone all the questions and responses. So you get to ‘hear’ the questions of others as well as responses. I certainly don’t claim to be the expert and have all the right answers – but I’ve worked in a leadership role for over Page 7 of 10

nearly 35 years, so I do at least have a lot of experience to draw from! And I will tap into other resources to develop responses to questions I don’t feel qualified to answer. Membership Resources …To provide you with practical tools at your fingertips to help you excel in your dayto-day leadership. Included with your registration fee will be access to a resource library that we are still in the process of building, and we will continue to add things to it on a regular basis. This will have informational articles (short ones) on leadership topics that are challenging – tips and strategies for working through challenges. There will be recommendations for books and other resources that can help you; training tips and activities – just a wealth of leadership information that will be available for you to access. ‘Leadership-in-action’ scenarios – short personal experiences of others …To give you real life examples of how to handle challenging situations. This is another area that we will build as we go – sometimes the best way to learn how to handle a situation is to learn from others. How often have you gotten good ideas on how to deal with things by listening to the experiences of others? Networking with other leaders – this will be an optional component for you that won’t cost you any extra. If you give permission for your contact information to be shared, we will help you network with the other leaders who are a part of LSC, So you can share your challenges and discover strategies for overcoming barriers. However this is optional and should you desire not to have your contact information shared with the other participants, it certainly will not be. One-on-one or small group coaching – this is also optional and would include an additional cost. You can receive individual coaching for yourself or someone in your organization – or a small group of people – this coaching would be done over the phone at specified times, on topics of your choice. Because there’s an additional fee involved, This coaching could be available for others in your organization who are not a part of LSC. This is offered …So you can receive individual guidance and support in your leadership role.


15% Discount on all Pathways training programs and services. If you’re not familiar with Pathways, please be sure and visit the website. We have many on-demand courses available on a variety of topics – on-demand meaning they are pre-recorded presentations that you can purchase and use multiple times within your organization, on your own time frame, with no travel costs. As a participant in LSC, you will receive a 15% discount on all purchases from Pathways. I know we have many Head Start program staff on the call today – if you are a Head Start program, we have several courses designed specifically for you, so be sure and check that out. The website Page 8 of 10

information is all listed on your handouts, and they will also be in the follow-up emails you will receive. To learn more or register for the Leadership Success Circle: As promised at the beginning, I do want to share with you how to access your bonus for being a participant on this call, which is $50 off the regular registration fee. You will notice on your handouts there are codes to use when you sign up; those are LSC50 for the first registration and LSC 25 for the second one from the same organization. If you don’t have your handouts, you will receive all this information in the follow-up email that you will get tomorrow as well. So just be sure and use those codes when you register – but those are only good until this Friday, May 11, so be sure and take advantage of that soon. Just a brief look at the cost for Leadership Success Circle: If you sign up for one year, there is a cost savings – for the first person from your organization the cost is $697 for the whole year and that includes everything we’ve talked about that’s included in Leadership Success Circle. There is a discount for additional people from the same organization, and you can take a look at the details of that on the website. So you can see we are committed to keeping the cost to a minimum – for $697 you couldn’t attend even one significant training event and pay registration costs, travel costs and make up for the down time out of the office. So I hope you find the price to be attractive to you as you consider this ongoing leadership training opportunity that you can access from anywhere, anytime. If you want to go to the website right now and take a look at more specific information about LSC that website address is listed at the bottom of the page on your handout; it is www.pathwaystoexcellence.net/leadership-success-circle

GO FORTH! So your next steps: 

Email me your questions about anything on today’s call; the email address is listed at the bottom of your handout – it’s [email protected]. Send your questions before the end of the day today. We will compile the questions and send out responses to all of you as soon as we get responses completed.

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Sign up for Leadership Success Circle before this Friday, May 11, and save $50 on the registration price. You can register on the website if you are using a credit card; or I know some of you will need to use a purchase order. When you go to the website to order, you will find information there on how to use a purchase order. And I know that getting a PO through the system can take


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some time – so even if you email us with an intent to join prior to Friday, May 11th, we will honor the price on a PO when it comes through. 

You will receive an email tomorrow that will include the recording and the manuscript, and also some additional information about registration for LSC.

I am just delighted to have had you join us this for this session – I will look forward to sharing the next session with you, and hopefully we will become more acquainted as we share Leadership Success Circle together. This is Teresa Gilbert, signing off from the teleconference, “Understanding Conflict in the Workplace,” watch for your followup email tomorrow, and Have a great week!


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