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THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS January 21, 2016

Campers learn life skills in their summers away Marilyn Lazar Special to The CJN

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f you’re considering camp for your kids but wonder if it will be a positive experience or worth the substantial cost, look no further. Below is a curated collection of direct quotes, answering the question ‘what life skills did you learn at camp?’ One camper said, “There are so many. The ones that stand out for me are: being independent, having to advocate for oneself, respecting others, co-operation, making new friends and the importance of trying new things.” Another said, “you learn about having fun and losing inhibition, about unleashing your imagination and creativity; about camaraderie and building life-long friendships through shared experiences; about new activities whether water sports, scouting, arts and crafts and/or drama; about joy in simplicity; about nature; if it is a Jewish camp, about Judaism and Zionism.” Here are some other answers: “Hospital corners.” “How to sweep a floor and use a dustpan.”

“How to plant a garden, light a onematch fire, cook dinner over a campfire, and get along with other kids.” “I learned to live in a tent, share one plug among four people and fend off raccoons.” “I learned to appreciate my mother’s cooking.” “How to overcome little fears. My first year I peed in my bed because it was raining and I was scared of the dark. That didn’t happen again.” “Little boys learn to shower properly and general bathroom hygiene.” “Finding solutions.” “You learn to develop and maintain deep bonds. I didn’t see my camp friends as often as I did my school friends, but we marched at each other’s weddings and we’re still close today.” “Things get imprinted on you: certain moments, like the camp play. Even the buildings have huge meaning. Like remembering what you did in a particular building. “ “First kiss?” “How great it feels to win an award.” ”Camp nurtures kids and fosters skills. I know professional potters and musicians who honed their talent at camp.”

“Independence. Kids are valued for hilarity and behaviour that might not be tolerated in a classroom. They get to be themselves.” “You develop people skills and learn to solve problems. Throw 12 kids into a room – try that with adults in a board room. You learn team work and independence. One counsellor is not always able to help the way a parent might.” “Looking back, I can see the seeds of who people grew into. I didn’t know as a

10-year-old what that kid running around like an idiot would do as an adult, but as you watch each other grow up and start careers, it makes sense. That brilliant but quirky kid who didn’t say much but when he did it was relevant is a lawyer today. The guy who was always ready to dive into the dirt works with his hands. The extrovert owns a video production company.” It seems that whatever the experience kids have at camp, it becomes a memory that lasts a lifetime. n

Summers Together... Memories Forever.

1-888-254-4274 | [email protected] | www.campwalden.ca

THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS January 21, 2016

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THIS IS JEWISH CAMP. FIND YOURS & GET UP TO $1000 OFF! Start your child’s “summer of a lifetime” at Jewish overnight camp. From ziplines to waterskiing to singing under the stars, at camp your child will build a strong Jewish identity & pride, while having a total blast. First-time campers are eligible for an incentive grant of up to $1000.

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THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS January 21, 2016

NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FOR

SUMMER 2016

In every person’s childhood, there is a summer they will never forget, and a place where it all began.

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THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS January 21, 2016

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SPONSOR CONTENT

Camp Bilium builds Jewish leaders of the future

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ince 1951, Camp Biluim Canada, Canadian Young Judaea’s National Leadership Institute, has welcomed a new group of more than 100 sixteen year-olds from across Canada, the United States and Israel to their site each year, for a truly transformative summer. Camp Biluim is more than just your typical summer camp. It is an immersive, leadership experience with a curriculum built around providing campers with the confidence and skills to become leaders within their respective communities, while participating in active and fun recreational activities and making friendships that last a lifetime. The philosophy at Camp Biluim is that everyone has the potential to become a great leader, and that each and every camper has something unique to bring to the “chevrah” (society). Through a variety of both staff and camper-led programming, skill development, and hadrachah (leadership) sessions, Camp Biluim’s goal is to ensure that every camper who takes part in the six-week, overnight program, has the proper skills and feels empowered to become a leader. Along with extensive leadership training, Camp Biluim also em-

Bilium’s Big Brother Big Sister program pairs campers with younger campers at Camp Kinneret.

powers campers to strengthen their relationship to Israel, and develop a stronger sense of their Jewish selves within a supportive, safe, and nurturing environment. Situated on the shores of Lac Mercier in beautiful Mont Tremblant, Quebec, Camp Biluim Canada makes up 28 acres of land including a tent site, sports field, baseball diamond, two rec halls, dining hall, yoga and dance studio, arts and crafts studio, music room, recording studio, infirmary, swimming docks, archery range, boating

docks, basketball courts, beach, and kilometres of beautiful trails through the forest for both hiking and biking. Campers at Camp Biluim are encouraged to try as many activities as possible throughout the summer, including Red Cross certified swim instruction, fitness, tripping, biking, yoga, glee club, radio show, archery, cooking, music, boating, spoken word, land and watersports, arts and crafts, nature, and drama, to name a few. What truly sets Camp Biluim apart from

other camps, however, is the hadrachah (leadership) program, a facilitated session with a group of up to 12 peers and two leaders, which takes place daily. The program’s curriculum is specifically modelled to create a safe space in which campers can confront themselves and their fears, grow as individuals and as a group, and empower one another. Combined with many other diverse leadership opportunities, the hadrachah program is a unique and individualized experience for every camper, and creates an extremely tight bond between campers and staff members alike. As a leadership camp, Biluim prides itself on providing campers with additional daily opportunities to get involved in camp life and to exercise their leadership skills. These include camper-run programs, the Big Brother/Big Sister program, CIT “shadow a staff member” program, tripper-in-training program, and many more. Some of these are required as part of the program, and some are optional, based on camper interest. Camp Biluim Canada is happy to provide their campers with high school volunteer hours for their time spent on leadership initiatives at camp. n

LifeLong friendships from across the worLd

Welcome to your best summer ever

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THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS January 21, 2016

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THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS January 21, 2016

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SPONSOR CONTENT

Camp Massad enters 70th season

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here is significant “quantitative evidence that summers at Jewish camp create adults who are committed to the Jewish community and engaged in Jewish practice” (see www.jewishcamp. org/research). Those who attended Jewish camp were 30 per cent more likely to donate to a Jewish charity, 37 per cent more likely to light Shabbat candles, 45 per cent more likely to attend synagogue monthly or more, and 55 per cent more likely to be very emotionally attached to Israel. Jeff Bicher, the director of Camp Massad could not agree more. “It is clear that our campers develop a connection to the community and to each other, like nothing else. Our tagline, Where Going to Camp Means Coming Home, just says it all.” Which is why after a 10-year hiatus, Jeff went back to camp this past summer. When asked how long this stint will be, his face beamed. “I can’t imagine spending my summers anywhere else. That magical place is responsible for so much. “I owe Camp Massad a debt of gratitude. Not only did Massad expose my spiritual and spirited sides and enable me to form some great friendships, but Camp Massad brought me my wife, and as a result

my family, giving me the ultimate gift of happiness and fulfilment. And my story is not the only one like this.” Entering its 70th season, the camp is proud to be serving another generation of Massadniks, including grandchildren of its original counsellors and campers. Situated on Lac Quenouille 115 kilometres north of Montreal, Camp Massad was founded in 1947 to offer children an opportunity to enrich their knowledge of Jewish culture, and their fluency in the Hebrew language, while enjoying an integrated and extensive camping program.

The camp seeks to ensure that every camper enjoys a fun, safe, and nurturing summer through meaningful Jewish experiences rooted in a Shabbat-observant and Zionist environment. Campers are embraced into the Massad family, all the while being enveloped by its Ruach (spirit) and Massoret Massad (traditions). Through quality programming, campers benefit from individualized attention and focused skill development, taking pride in their accomplishments. In this inclusive community, campers and staff will form lifelong relationships and are inspired to

live a Jewish life. Massad is based on a set five core values which are shared and lived year-round. • Dati: Observing and celebrating Shabbat and mitzvot • Massoret Ve’Ruach: continuing and honouring the Massad traditions and its rich, distinct atmosphere • Tzionut: strengthening the love for and commitment to Israel, Jewish culture and the Hebrew language • Chevrut: fostering an environment where lifelong friendships are nurtured, and creating a sense of family and unity within camp; • Hatzlacha Ve’Tzmicha: committing to create quality programs that enrich and challenge participants to grow and excel, to strive for success and flourish, appreciating that we are creating tomorrow’s leaders. Bicher will be returning to Massad for his 24th summer. He was first hired to direct camp for the 1997 season, when there were just 52 campers. Within four years, camp was at capacity. He attributes the success back then, and the current resurgence, to multiple factors, including great staff teams and superb volunteer leaders. n

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THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS January 21, 2016

Dating and marriage a result of Jewish camp Maayan Jaffe JNS.org

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ighteen-year-old Bernie Kozlovksy spent from sundown to sunrise on a boat with 16-year-old Sonia Rosenbaum in the summer of 1972. “We talked until dawn,” Kozlovksy recalls about that summer at a Jewish summer camp. Kozlovksy worked in the camp kitchen. Rosenbaum was a camper. From that summer forward, neither dated another individual. Forty-three years later – including 39 years of marriage, six children, and seven grandchildren – Kozlovksy attributes his successful relationship to the spark that formed during his summertime experience. Not much has changed. Today, the (camp) fire is still burning at Jewish summer camp. Dating and marriage are byproducts of summers spent banging on the table during Birkat Hama-

zon, engaging in loud and intense games of colour war, and celebrating Jewish culture with Hebrew plays and folk music campfire sing-alongs. No one is pushed to date at Jewish summer camp, explains Lauren Ben-Shoshan, who met her Israeli husband, Alon, as a counsellor at a Union for Reform Judaism camp in 2004. The couple now lives in Israel. “Camp is a positive place for Jewish learning, physical activity, and connecting with the outdoors. No one wants campers to feel bad because they didn’t find their spouse when they were 15, 19, or 22. But there is a covert understanding that [marriage is] a nice byproduct of Jewish summer camp, when it happens,” says Ben-Shoshan, who is also a Jewish educator. It occurs more often than many realize. According to Camp Works, a report released in 2012 by the Foundation for Jewish Camp, Jewish adults who attend Jewish overnight

camp are on average 10 per cent more likely to marry within the Jewish faith than their peers. A 2000-01 study found that number to be higher, with 78 per cent of individuals who attended Jewish summer camp in-married, as opposed to 62 per cent of their non-camper peers. What’s the secret sauce? Is it that romantic Shabbat at sunset by the lake or in the secluded woods? That’s part of it, but it is more likely a result of the “intensity” of the camp experience, Ben-Shoshan that could take several months in the ‘real believes. world,’ you see within a week at camp.” “You’re living with everyone. The Jewish summer camp focuses heavily on days last forever, but camp feels like it only lasts a minute. So even if camp is only community-building, notes Aaron Bogage, two months, these are two very intense who attended the BBYO International the CAMPLeadership EXPO Training Conference for sevmonths,” she says. “You see the campers atatthe CAMP EXPO ........................................................... ........................................................... and counsellors in stressful situations, how eral summers and now works at the overSunday, Feb 22,12pm 12pm 4pm Chapter Leadership Training When: When: 23, 4pm night--BBYO they interact with peers andSunday, with theFeb kids, Conference. the meals, how they interact with co-workRoyThomson ThomsonHall Hall(booth (booth#13) #8) where: Roy where: ers. It is all these things that happen in life, Continued on NEXT page

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THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS January 21, 2016

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He says there are always “quite a few couples per session,” explaining that these relationships form because everyone is “extremely open” with each other and open to meeting new people. “Everyone is genuinely excited to get to know the rest of the teens.…There is a sense of community that comes from camp,” Bogage says. One can start to pinpoint new couples, according to Bogage, by looking at who sits where during meals and what campers do during free time. Bogage has not met his significant other through camp, but his good friend met a girl last summer. They are still together despite the physical distance between them. Jen Silber, executive director of a Habonim Dror camp, says there is a focus at camp on building healthy peer relationships. “We want [campers] to learn about communication, how to express their needs in relationships, feel confident being themselves and develop trust,” she says. Silber, who met her own husband as a camper and then staffer, argues that friendships and romantic relationships that people form at summer camp tend to be “deeper” and more authentic than those forged at school or in other environments. Campers and counsellors feel accepted for who they are, she says. Likewise, people who attend Jewish

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summer camps tend to share similar values. Through the camping experience, they come to learn how they hope to celebrate Shabbat or even raise their children. “My husband and I come at life from a similar place of what is important and what we want for our children in terms of Jewish identity and connection to Israel,” says Silber. “And it’s fun. Camp is really fun and that playfulness, that energy or ruach (spirit) is still there in our relationship today.” That’s exactly how it has gone for Mollie Gansky, who met her boyfriend, Corey Bass, at Camp Ramah in Pennsylvania’s Pocono Mountains. She spent seven summers as a camper and five as a counsellor. She knew her boyfriend since she was young, but they only started dating as staffers. Now 23, she says she and Bass are on the same page about the role of Judaism in their lives, which makes the relationship stronger. But Gansky also describes the pressure at camp to “hook up” or at minimum, have your first kiss. She had hers in 2006. “I had a boyfriend at camp for two years as a camper,” Gansky recalls. “Within my age group, there were at least seven or eight relationships each year. Those were the serious relationships, but there were just hookups, too.” As a counsellor, Gansky says she observed that campers engaged in relation-

Jen and Dan Silber met at Camp Moshava. PHOTO Courtesy Silber family

ships starting as early as fourth or fifth grade, with campers “coupling off” for dates to the annual fireworks displays or other events. In seventh or eighth grade, the pressure grows, and by ninth or 10th grade, she says, “campers have a lot of pressure to find someone, to be with someone at camp.” Camp Ramah walls are adorned with

B9 plaques with kissy faces on which people etch their name and the date of their first kiss. More than 3,000 couples have their plaques featured on “shidduch walls” at Ramah camps around the country (Wisconsin, the Berkshires, and California). At Ramah in the Poconos, a gazebo called Gazebo Zugot (Hebrew for “matches”) celebrates couples that met at camp. Ramahmarriages.org, a page on the Reshet Ramah website, is dedicated to couples who met at summer camp. Last summer, Reshet Ramah launched “RamahDate,” a new partnership with the Jewish online dating giant JDate. RamahDate members subscribe to JDate through a co-branded portal and receive an identifying Ramah “badge” on their online profile. Then, they can choose to either “meet” only other Ramah members or search more broadly within JDate’s 750,000 members worldwide. Aaron Bogage says the online portal makes sense for keeping those camper connections going. “Campers create relationships and bonds they will have for years,” he says. “Jewish camps can help kids marry Jewish when they grow up.” “It’s possible to find happiness in so many Jewish situations,” adds Lauren Ben-Shoshan. “Camp happens to be a very good one.” n

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THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS JANUARY 21, 2016

A little preparation goes a long way MARILYN LAZAR SPECIAL TO THE CJN

Every parent sending a child off to overnight camp for the first time believes that the camper will have a positive experience. Parents steel themselves, though, for their child getting a little bout of homesickness. How can you best prepare your first-time camper for the new environment, and perhaps just as importantly, how can you tweak your own behaviour and response to mitigate their anxiety as much as possible? There’s a lot you can do to set your kids up for success, and there are some common pitfalls to avoid. Deciding on the length of time for their first stay is important. One rule of thumb is to leave them wanting more and let them come home on a high. That being said, it can take time to regain composure and sometimes that introductory period barely brings them out of their initial adjustment phase. You know your child, but take into account the culture of the camp by speaking to the director and perhaps

a counsellor or parents of older campers before deciding. Familiarity breeds comfort so visit the camp if possible or at least check out the website together. Arrange a pre-camp get-together with other campers. Have a sleepover at a friend’s or grandparents. Be casual in advance and nonplussed if it doesn’t go well, but praise the victory. Sometimes the best of intentions produce undesired results. For example, telling a child how much you will miss them can create a negative expectation and anxiety. Instead, focus on the great opportunity that awaits and some favourite activities that will be available, such as water skiing or whatever their favourite is. Share your own positive experience or that of someone they know, such as an older cousin who they look up to. Once they’re gone, the same rule applies. Don’t say you miss them

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or respond in kind if they write that to you. Focus on questions about activities, accomplishments and forming friendships. Adopt a positive tone and provide news about yourself. Simple good parenting goes a long way. Foster independence by involving them in simple household chores and age-appropriate decision-making. Transfer those skills and have your child be an active participant in shopping and packing for camp. Begin teaching them to respect rules by doing so yourself. Why cram their bag with secret stashes of contraband candy? There are reasons for these rules ranging from unwanted animals in the cabin to

potential conflict and power struggles with their peers who don’t have candy. There are plenty of treats distributed at camp every day. Don’t hide a cell phone. Allow them to exist device-free for a short time. Let them spread their wings. Obviously, there’s a lot you can’t prepare for: specific situations, choices, personalities and group dynamics. That’s why it’s essential to promote self advocacy and respectful communication skills. Try to instil the need for respecting general safety and especially water safety rules and skills. The things you can do to benefit a child in a camp situation are really skills that will benefit any individual in the long run. Being social yet independent, respectful yet able to advocate for oneself are balanced skills which will give a child a leg up in camp, in school, in a career and in life. ■

THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS January 21, 2016

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Where the Second Half is as Crazy as the First!

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THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS January 21, 2016

SPIRIT THAT’S TOO BIG FOR THE INDOORS

COMMITTED TO YOUR CHILD’S GROWTH Our beautiful country setting makes our exceptional Day Camp feel like an overnight camp! With outstanding leadership and staff, we foster independence and emotional growth in a fun, high-spirit setting. Whether you choose our traditional program or our Sports Academy, we promise to inspire and care for

every child like our own. With twice daily swim instruction, themed bus rides, a leadership training program and KOSHER/NUT-FREE FOOD, we are waiting to welcome your child to our ultimate summer experience! Call today for more information.

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